Its not the way it has to go, just what I prefer

10.10.10: 101 Things; 1001 Days.

2010-10-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

Came to the conclusion I have to live more. And do things for the now. People around me always say "maybe", or always have an excuse for why things can't get done now, or expediently. Even I'm guilty. So I've come up with 101 things I'm trying to have done in the next 1001. Now you'd think they were easy, some are, some aren't. It's going to take perseverance. So where will I be? Everywhere. Why will I be busy? Below.

The Mission
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple goals such as New Year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

My List
Start date : October 10th, 2010
End date : July 8th, 2013

Key
Not yet started
In progress
Complete

1. Learn to Write Right-Handed
2. Cook a Meal using a recipe from a different Country.
3. Go caffeine-free for one week.
4. Celebrate for no reason (101). This means drinking included.
5. No alcohol for 31 straight days. Energy drinks included.
6. Conversely, learn to accept compliments.
7. Write an letter to my last three exes, explaining how things went wrong.
8. Save up $2,500 in my savings account.
9. Learn an instrument. Piano preferably. Two class minimum.
10. Write ten happy notes and/or blogs.
11. Try a new form of dancing that I haven't tried before.
12. Take a homeless person to lunch, or offer them a meal.
13. Try to keep my mood stable for one continuous week.
14. Try at least three foods I've never tried before.
15. Read a 'classic' novel.
16. Go to church 6 times in one year. Including one holiday.
17. Maintain healthy nails, i.e. not biting them any more.
18. Explore a new city.
19. Buy a suit. And wear it.
20. Do something adventurous. Like run on a beach naked a night. Or Some variation.
21. Get a really fancy hotel suite, or some form of presidential suite, and sex in it.
22. Go to a gun range.
23. Learn the Basics of Sign Language.
24. Learn the Basics of an eclectic foreign language, other than Spanish.
25. Ski in three new Ski Resorts.
26. Write a letter to myself, to be opened by my wife on our wedding day.
27. Identify 100 things that make me unique.
28. Sleep Under the stars.
29. Fall In Love.
30. Tie a note to a balloon and let it go.
31. Go Horseback riding.
32. Watch 50 movies in IMDB's top 250
33. Complete A Coloring Book.
34. Eat at 10 New Restaurants that I've never been to before.
35. Find out My Blood Type.
36. Go to Vegas.
37. Expand my Vocabulary by 101 words.
38. Put change in some one's expired parking meter
39. Visit The Grand Canyon
40. Make a wish at 11:11 on November 11, 2011
41. Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day
42. Don't complain about anything for a week
43. Go to a concert in a different city.
44. Make a new friend
45. Go On A Picnic
46. Find a personally inspirational quote and work it into a piece of art or home decor
47. Fly a Kite.
48. See a Drive-In Movie.
49. Get a Car.
50. Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"
51. Become, and stay debt free for 365 days.
52. Give a 100% tip.
53. Take a weekend trip. Alone.
54. Write a handwritten letter to someone who has inspired me.
55. Get a professional massage.
56. Eat NO fast food for a month. [Mcdonalds, Wendys.] [Chipotle doesn't count]
57. Memorize Five good jokes.
58. Learn to play Poker And/Or Spades.
59. Take a pottery class.
60. Get all friends together to play a sport together.
61. Get, and Master Grandma's Mac & Cheese.
62. Attend a Comedy Show.
63. Go to the Eye Doctor & Dermatologist.
64. Sing in the Shower.
65. Donate five dollars for every task I do not complete.
66. Visit three art galleries.
67. Collect 10 Hotel room pens or room keys.
68. Collect 10 Bar Menus from different bars.
69. Try Two Drinks At Starbucks.
70. Watch Every Tyler Perry Movie in less than 30 days. Shrugs.
71. Catch up, or at least leave a comment to say hi to, at least 100 of my facebook or twitter, or IM friends, preferably people I have fallen out of touch with.
72. Go three straight months with no overdrafts on my bank account.
73. Spent an entire day without the Internet. Including Mobile Web.
74. Cross off 10 of these items within one month.
75. Spend time at the pool at least 10 times.
76. Buy some sort of lottery ticket, either the drawing or scratch-off.
77. Watch every episode of "The Sopranos".
78. Take at least 101 photos of my 101 Adventures.
79. Make Jello Shots.
80. Attend the Midnight Premiere of at least three movies.
81. Ask someone "what's shakin', bacon?"
82. Sit in a department store and watch a complete movie on the big tvs
83. Have or attend a house party while "House Party" is playing
84. Have a "status" relationship wise.
85. Get a keyboard and learn at least one song all the way through - then perform it for someone
86. Go play Bingo or go to Casino with grandma.
87. Don't log into Twitter And Face book for a week.
88. Read the Declaration of Independence.
89. Dance in an Elevator to the highest floor. Even if people get on.
90. Learn 10 constellations.
91. Cook a three course meal.
92. Send anonymous flowers to someone who is having a tough day.
93. Turn off my phone for 24 hours.
94. Buy a Magic 8 Ball and base all my decisions on it for a whole day.
95. Go Laser tagging.
96. Pay for someone random behind you.
97. Put away $5 for every goal completed.
98. Renew My Passport.
99. Get tooth pulled.
100. Contact mom & grandma daily.
101. Complete by 07/08/2013

Wish me well.

People Do It Everyday, I Can Change Too...

2010-10-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

It's like a constant cycle trying to blog. To live and write about it. Sometimess we try to live these extraordinary lifestyles in order to understand exactly what there is to life. I've done it. Now before you start, none of my blogs are trumped up. Nothing has been fabricated. I just feel the pressure that comes with taking my actions and putting them into words. I'm trying to become a better man, a better person, and in essence...just better at writing my own name in the sand. Sometimes I feel I'm too close to shore than when I write, I have to continue to write over and over, because it's been washed away by the oncoming waves. I have to move back slightly in order to not get wet in a sense.

As I sit here, listening to my Lupe cd. I try to understand..where life went. And honestly, it's been liven vicariously through the interweb. The social networks have given me plenty of people to consider friends and associates. Things to do, and people who even read my life. But its time for me to live it. Now sure...I'll write. I have to be able to actually REMEMBER the things that will happen, but I want to make it to 25 completely different from the way I reached 21. Without the use of http:// in front of everything else. If that makes sense. I read so many blogs, so many stories and columns by people who are older than myself and I dont want to "live in the past", persay, but I want to be able to say "I did that", and not "I'm going to do that". Can't learn from a life lesson by repeating the cycle in a sense.

That being said, for a while a lot of my blogs are going to be drafts, just like my mind frame. I'm always changing my views, my minds, my clothes. So I have to get things right, get my life into perspective. Put the pieces together in order to have the puzzle layed out for you all. I'm hoping the majority of you keep contact, because I'll try. I'm doing better with consistency. [trying..]. Feels good to say that I've matured. And still growing. When you see me, I'll be a new man [lord willing]. Just pray for me, and I'll do the same for you. Keep your heart, lose the hate, and like Wayne said: Love,Live,Life. Proceed. Progress.

I'll see you soon. ;-)

You Think You Know, but Have No Idea.

2010-10-09T02:56:00.000-07:00

I have zero tattoo’s, nada, not a zip and don’t want any either.
My longest relationship: I tell people she did nothing wrong, even though she technically cheated. I'm not bitter. I did my dirt.
I'm a writer, I blog almost daily, but I rarely ever post them. I honestly have a notepad stuck on my homescreen of my phone just for note jotting.
I have the worst reputation of being a flirt. Publically. Sad part is I don't really care. I'm just a man.
I have a bad habit of texting yet never calling. However when I do, I've taken a liking to you. So enjoy it.
I only had 6 “girl friend’s” my whole life. I don’t know what to call the rest of them.
Growing up I always thought my mother and father would be together forever, only to find out I was terribly mistaken.
My great grandmother was buried two days before I was born, so pretty much I am looked at in her spirit.
I used to be a regular ass person. I still am, but honestly: Many of the people I used to really rock with in grade school I dont speak to, and the ones I didn't speak to speak more. Chivalry, right?
I would sell my soul to have a incredible singing voice
I quote songs and movies in real life conversations and 9 out of 10 people never catch on
I’ve had insomnia on and off my whole life. I refuse to take the medicine because there is a fine line of ingredients of what can put you to sleep, can put you to death but a person’s company and a ice cold room has always helped knock me right out
I don’t like having strings attached to many things in life but when I commit myself to something. I’m in it to win it… but if I lose then I’m depressed as shit.
I haven't cried in years. I'm not heartless, I just never had much to really "feel" about.
After typing all of these 14 “interesting facts” about me. You still don’t know a third of the man.

Effort is all I ask.

2010-10-09T02:08:00.001-07:00

"Look, I just want to make you better
I think I could save you
But I think I'm bipolar. I love you then I hate you.
Grew with this dame though I hate whoever ain't you
Hate when I cant date you but I also need my space too
I made room for this love. How foolish of me
And every woman looking at you knew that you was lucky
So check the verse miss. I ain't say I'm perfect.
But you was low on love, what I do; reimbursed it
And now it hurts to be around or converse with ya
And what's worse is before this I had worse with ya
Now war missiles hand guns and grenades
The walls I couldn't break em or take em apart with a tank
Now momma told me be careful who you love
G said just rap it up, these bitches actin up
And as for us, we was different though.
Things have gotten difficult
Try to be Mr. perfect intercontinental, hold up
You spend your time with your friends all the time
And all that time with your friends put my momentum on decline
My minds gone evil. You changed with the season
You had a new clear heart. Guess I was Hiroshim"

See I wasn't going to do this, but I figured I'd mark this down as an L, close the chapter and never speak on it again. I let you do what you did. I tried to be a decent dude and keep my mouth shut out of respect for you and the situation. But they were right, you don't even do relationships, so I guess situation is a perfect word for it. I saw something in you. A lot in you. Enough in you. But now: You're just another girl lost. Now I've lost a lot of good women in my life, so it's about time I get the blunt of it finally. Truth be told: I just wanted to make you better. It wasnt the sex that had me caught up. I left other broads alone for you, put up walls and even stopped being who I was for you. That's gone.

Don't even know where you are with life right now. But I apologize. What happened was fucked up and I'll never be able to take that back. Ever. We don't even speak, for good reason. You were perfect, and even though it wasn't anything typical, it's what nobody else had that made me keep what I had. You. And I've accepted that. So accept my apology.

..Y'all, I'm just a man. At the end of the day to the point I put my jeans on one leg at a time. I'm trying to make things right now before it's too late. At 5:30, all I can think of are my faults. So: I'm establishing this here. If you feel some way, I apologize, this could be about you, it might not be. But heres my effort to start new. Fresh. Again. Each day gets better right?

We'll see. Miss me when I'm gone.

It Aint Nothing But A #; Dont Call Me On It.

2010-09-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

Now everyone who knows me understands that I typically have a "fetish" of sorts with older women. I have my reasons, and I'll elaborate on them so people understand. Most men will think having a cougar means they've accomplished something. I like older women not for the fact they know more than a woman my age. Or even the fact they have their quote-on-quote "shit" together. I simply like older women because there are some, typically the ones I like, that through caution out of the window and instead of being a peer mediator to a man who's younger than them, they simply let live. They don't see birth dates and numerals. They see compatibility. Of course you'd ask "so why not date someone your age". My mother told me act my age, not my shoe size.

I had a conversation with a woman that I think is very secure in herself, however uses her age at every whim. It is actually frustrating always having to defend the fact that you don't get the option of the day you come out of the womb to someone who's your elder in a sense. But we try. At least I do. So the conversation went as such. Lets call her "Special K".

Special K: Some Women are not into mentoring a man...you gotta come already packaged to be open and used as is.
Me: However: Things fall apart.
Special K: Not Saying we all don't have growing to do, it just depends on how much growing.
Me: That's what you deal with when you talk to younger men. You ain't got to mentor us. Contrary to what you believe: It's now all about y'all.

[At this point in the conversation I was expecting it to go one or two ways: her to dictate a young man worth or explain to me about out previous conversation about dating an older woman; and it not working. She chose Option B. Wise Card to pull]

Special K: Unfortunately...things did fall apart b/c you guys man not have been equally yolked.
Me: Thanks [Female name]
Special K: Why you thanking me?
Me: Because you're stating the obvious.
Special K: Ohh shut up Greg.
Me: Like sometimes we just might know the same things. Your age ain't really shit. I'm just saying. Age typically only matters to the older party. Especially since majority puts enough emphasis on it.
Special K: I met a dude that was way younger than me and I felt the most like myself around him...than any other dude.
Me: Good. So why are you over here speaking on age like it dictates anything.

[Now I feel as if nobody won this argument. Valid points were made on both parts. However I hate to see a woman, or man, in that matter try to substitute age with logic and then go and tangle them together.]

This is what I said to myself because I hate to have debates with women. A woman chooses what she wants wisely. You all aren't like us men who act on impulse and figure it's "okay" to just "float" through life. However, everything regarding ages and everything we've discussed just seems so..planned. Like me for me, not the fact that you were born first and know more. I've lost count how many times I've trumped a woman mentally, and her defense mechanism just so happened to be "you're just young". Thanks. Don't let the big words, and my lack of poor diction and vernacular. I'm a smart dude. I feel inclined to talk to a woman of the same stature. Be it younger or older. And she better not have an issue with my age.

Granted at 23 I should be focused on my career, not the lack thereof a woman. And I promise..I have my salary straight. So to speak. However I've had so much history in my young years, dealing with women of different races, ages, colors, locations...that sometimes I'm acting my age. I have much to learn that I simply couldn't learn from a woman that's doing the same, or living the same lifestyle as me. What do I bring to the table to a woman that's older: Dependability. The leading factor in why she's single. Some older women I've met simply have lacked a man, of any age that's dependable. I have my vices, but I would like to think I never just "not do" for people. Including my significant other. Lets be honest, I FedEx a care package to an Ex because she was sick. Sure we broke up a couple weeks after that. [Wont go there], But I digress.

Bottom line is: I like to be happy. And if you can't be happy completely because as a woman you feel like "a younger man has a lot of life to live and will be hard to tame, think about it like this: Cubs stay in the den, growing to become maned enough to venture on their own. Yes, they need guidance, and care, and even attention. Meanwhile, its typically the cougars that are on the prowl, out scouring for prey.

It's just life. Live it. At 23..or 32.

You Put The Dick In Her: I Put The Dick On Her. And Her.

2010-09-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

...So I've had dreams about it. Dreams in plural, like five of them. All in the span of weeks rather. Like they never have an ending point, and the attire always changed. The sheets always change, yes the sheets. I've been having this dream about intercourse with twins. It gets explicit, so much so, I was going to try to make it into a Moist Satin Sheets themed blog, but couldn't. It has me stumped, because...I know twins. A couple of sets. The men that you hear wanting twins probably still do want variety like a threesome with two different women. Its just an intriguing notion to have sex with two other women with the same features. All of them are beautiful and I'm friends with both of the twins. But this dream was..different. Like it started out just a sex thing and escalated to something far..far different so I'll get into it.

It started with a whole lot of texts, and calls. Pretty much between the both of them, just harmless friends flirting. Always had the notion in the back of my head they knew I was flirting with the other. But we know how I am, so the dream goes on as such. One night I just decide to go over there. And hang. We're all cool, so why not bring alcohol. So I do. We chilling, drinking, playing Uno..and things get shifty. Like I'm looking at them with every intention of taking them both down, but you know how it goes. "what if one isn't down?" because you know you have to pick and shit. Twins don't really enjoy the idea of...seeing the other twin fucking. At least that's what I'm lead to believe. The whole seeing double thing is just sexy. Now typically if one twin is cute, the other is fine, and vice verse. But I'm dragging..

So one of the twins apparently is tired and decides to lay down. Lets call this twins Erica and Patrice. I just think the names fit. So Patrice decides she's tire, the drinks flows heavy, the shot challenges commenced and she got restless. Off to bed she goes. So I'm left there..With Erica on a couch. At this point she's already not trying to drink anymore for reasons that are obvious. She's in the mood thanks to the mood juice though. I play my cool. Watching TV, doing little dumb things that might grab her attention. Hitting her with the pillow, looking at her, and when she realizes it look away, kiddie shit. Can't be too forward and say "You Wanna fuck"Esq.

Needless to say I try my hand anyway, she pushes off. I don't try again because I don't want BOTH twins sleep so I simply play it cool. Somehow someway, after another episode of Martin, she feels like "damn, he's not going to try to fuck me again", and I play the "I don't want to really fuck her, I'll beat my dick when I get home" role. Knowing good and damned well..I'm trying to knock all the wind out of her chest like an asthmatic with the inhaler on the opposite side of the room.

Lost in translation, we end up in her room because she wants to be comfortable. Comfortable with me, in her bed, watching TV. I always liked when a woman doesn't have a TV in her room and invites you in there, however a TV in the room means one thing: 10am sportscenter. And Greg likes that. So..we're in the room, and we're talking. She rolls over with her back to me. Now typically I'm not the cuddler, but after a few drinks, and a woman who meets regulatory standards..I'm all for it. And you know how women sleep...in their best "he better not try to fuck me" wear, with their asses arched symmetrically on my lower chest, and lower. Just to see if I'll try my hand. Which...if I weren't sober..I'd probably do. One thing leads to another..

I'm on top of her. Her t-shirt is knotted at her elbows as she's lifting it over her head. I'm working on the buttons on her jeans. Now I don't know if this is typically what women do when they know they are around men, but they wear the most complicated jeans ever. It had like three buttons, a zipper, and a belt. Felt like I was playing pictionary with mimes. But I made it work. And lets just say..her underwear screamed "fuck me rough so my sister can hear it". I swear to you..I did.

Imagine having a thin, beautiful woman riding you reverse cowgirl with her hair flowing down her back, she turns back to you asking if you're enjoying it. Then she tells YOU to keep it down because her sister is in the room. That shit right there just made me hard while typing. So we're going for it, she's grabbing her breasts as she rides on top of me, pussy foaming at the lips as I'm hoping she's not looking back while mouthing to myself "I swear I want to just cum inside of her". Verbatim. You fellas know how it goes.

Just when its feeling good I hear footsteps and the door opens to reveal her sister. She stands there as Erica grabs her breasts. Stunned to walk in on her sister doing this..she seems to be pleased about it. Like she wanted a piece. So I mention to her of my fantasies, and not trying to make the situation weird, meanwhile assuring Erica that she's adequate enough to be my current sex spouse, but I had never done it. Sure it's every mans fantasy, but I want it to go down a little differently. I don't want them to kiss. I don't even want them to touch. I want her to watch me do Erica. Then I want to do do Patrice. And if the sex Gods want, maybe they will join in. In positions they never thought off. One riding me while one rides my face, the thought of it alone has Erica trying to convince her sibling it's enough to try once, we only live once. So lets do it and never talk about it.

...Then Patrice closes the door...

"You Have A Way With Words, I'll Give You That"

2010-09-23T06:29:00.001-07:00

Preface: Now granted, I'm not the best blogger. And sometimes...I just might not state public opinion. But this is where I go to get out my dreams. My thoughts. I haven't done so consistently because in a nutshell..people watch. We call them people watchers. But honestly, I could care less anymore. I'm sure an ex or two, be it they remember the link, will come here from time to time and actually read the blog. So...I'm going to say what I want to say. In this post.

My past is just that. I've slept with a lot of women I don't speak to anymore. Used to put my pride in front of me and think "maybe they found better dick". I'm sure they did. I'm happy for them. I've had better bed partners myself. I wont down talk them, I'm no God to anyone. I have friends with some, associate with others. Not on the type of "Oh I'm still cool with them because they just might put my shit out there". I'm sure someone has talked about me in some bad way, that told a friend that told a friend. I can live with that. Cause honestly..I never cared. In the words of Michelangelo (lies) "I fucked though". A lot of things have racked my brain currently. Can you JUST be friends with someone you used to sleep with? What's really the job title of a friendship? Are your friends who they are for a reason? I say this because I've never put a woman before my friends. Then again I don't have many of those, and the ones I do know me better than I know myself. So if I dropped off the face of planet Earth today, at least at my funeral they could say "you know...Greg ain't never NOT been there for me." Granted..I'm a selfish individual. I like to get my way, and usually will duel to the death to make it that way. Its pretty much a curse because I'm usually put in the position to argue with the person on the opposite side of me. We know I hate arguments. I throw temper tantrums..Silently. I had to add that because I don't storm out of rooms and shit. I simply keep to myself. My Verizon bill should be changed the way I ignore phone calls thanks to me turning off the mobile. Shit..as we speak, I have everything off. Twitter, Face book, cell phone, text, everything. I'm trying to get a lot of things in perspective. Why you ask? [And this is where the blog really starts]

As of Thursday, there will only be 100 days left in the year. Let's make the most of it Greg.

Shit, you're telling me. What was my New Years resolution? Get over that "commitment-phobia" that Netta speaks of semi-annually. I've fucked up a lot in the past...10, 11 months. In December, would make one year since I fucked up with probably the coolest woman I've ever met. And she was great. I'm talking about everywhere, across all the boards. And I can honestly say...I fucked that up. She probably doesn't forgive me til' this day, I hope she does if she reads this, I'm sorry. Before I get off track..What were my resolutions, really.

To be a better man: Sounds easy right? I promise you that shit is hard.
To save money: Well...see what happened was..
To write a blog daily: Trying, but my life at 23 don't have that many stories. If I were Tucker Max, 30 and writing about all the things of my past..it'd be different. I'm thinking about trying that out, by the way. That's why you really haven't heard much...

Now: My plan for 2011 is and was to quit drinking. But its necessary. I'm grown. I don't smoke, do coke, or pay for sex. I think I win at life, and should be granted a pass to try anything less than 100 proof. Even though on occasion it's okay to indulge in Rumple Minze. The last time I was "Q" drunk...Wait...let me backspace some so you know. "Q Drunk" is a different type of drunk. I'm speaking on being so drunk that you are driving on the side of the road with oncoming traffic drunk. Drunk that you try to talk down a price for a lap dance from a stripper. Drunk to the point you steal a street sign just to hang over your bed as a trophy. As to HOW that was done..is beyond me, but it's happened, twice. There's nothing like it. Thus me saying..the last time that happened...

Was last week. We went to the Caucus and didn't like it. Apparently I was thinking so much about "her" [yes, a woman, evidently], and her reluctance to actually entertain me as much as I entertain her [which has started to bore me. Not enough to explore my options, yet enough to keep my phone silent. I'm done with my old ways] that I started to drink. Heavily. It all started with a shot. Then a battle of shots. Then beers. Then a shot that tasted like coffee. Now when we drink we [my entourage] have a saying that goes: "if it taste like it has sugar in it, it's not a shot" and we're true to these words. Lemondrops aren't shit. We give those to women so they will in turn find a reason to smile at us as we drink the big boy shots. Back to the topic:

Apparently three beers and three shots in: We're pretty fucked up. Q is looking at his phone, manic-depressive like, talking to his lady. I looked at my phone long enough to notice I had 1200 Emails, a google talk message from a girl that I don't want to hear from, and no texts from her. So..I order another round. Pissed. "I'll be back, I'm going to the bathroom". Xavier, the "good shoulder" was talking to the bartender about what else...road trips and fornicating. Oh joy. As I go to the bathroom, I get a call. It's from one of my other boys: "Greg, we're you at, we're trying to buy drinks".

This usually sounds good...But typically when I get those texts...There's usually a CHANCE a bill is split SOMEWHERE...and there's a person who doesn't have cash [sometimes it's Q, but that's my boy, I can't fault him, I've been broke plenty of times]. So I told him I was already drunk and about to leave. I didn't lie..I was reaching drunk. That happy medium when you start walking around paying attention to everything. Have you ever been drunk to the point you look down at a woman's toes and realize they are chipped..Yeah, that type of drunk. Moving forward. We go to another bar: And drink. Now I walk out of this bar because it smelled like wet dog, and the bathroom had a condom machine that said "Look Ma, No Hands". I laughed for a second, until I dropped my drink in the urinal. Not cool. I got another.

[Who CLEANS urinals? Piss is gross. And Urinals are just as bad. Let me explain how a urinal works. You piss in them. And it splashes. Imagine some guy just pissing, and you're next in line. Nine times out of ten he didn't flush it...and even if there is a "splash pad", it will splash on YOU when you piss. The co-mingling of piss is never a good deal. Ever. ugh.]

So...We go outside. Q says "Greg, lets hit a black". Now...only time I've smoked is around her. But she's pissed me off, so I said fuck it, and com mist to light one. But I did take her words and think about them. "Baby, Blacks only RAISE your drunkenness.". And that it did. I felt like Lafayette on True Blood seeing witchcraft after getting midway through it. I had consumed about 9 shots, 4 beers, and a long island. And it was only 12:10. I didn't come straight from work to stop now. Needless to say I drunk more. At the hookah spot. Clouds of smoke, alcohol, water bottles, and a fully charged cell phone. What's a man to do..? Enjoy. So I did. Lets just say I woke up Saturday morning feeling like I had been stomped out by Little League kids with all their gear on. Shits not a good feeling. Like that night I drunk wine, smoked blacks, and drunk Four Lokos with her. That night ended funny. Well no it didn't but still.

I have 100 days to try to make 2010 better than the other 260 that were iffy. How? By reflecting. I already know people aren't wearing white again until next May, so I don't have to worry about that being any one's true colors. But at least their hues better glow. I'm sick and tired of the bullshit. I want consistency. The last time I had that was shit...when was that? What better time to start than now. Lets go. 2011, you're in my vision. I'm going to make you better.

Until.

Greg

The Interlude; But Not Bria's.

2010-09-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

It's funny. We're always looking for Mr & Mrs. Right be it they might be "right for the moment", or "right then", but you never know what it could be. I've been fortunate to have a lot of good women in my life. Friends, exes, enemies, yes even them. I've been blessed. Even my poor decisions had a good result (most of the time, I tried to be optimistic). But one thing I looked at from Ms. Upscale was...the shit finds you. I used to be pressed to be in a situation, mainly because I felt I had something to prove. Always had couples surrounding me, and being on these social networks, it kind of gives you insight of what to expect from others when it's your turn to be happy.

I've been an asshole to the point where I've thought shit had to go my way in order to strategically work better. Dee has called me out numerous times saying "you can't be alone, but you can't be single", so I've kept a woman, just because. But recently things have just been..different. I wont speak much but I know I have someone who cares and is down for me, that's a pretty damn high claim. Now.. queue from "Until I Get Married". just because I'm content now, doesn't dictate that changing in the future. Things and situations happen. And I don't get to decide, but rather make it work.

Relationships work. They don't have decisions. Arguments happen, and you can't do nothing but make shit work. You gotta feel me on this one. You know those cliche ass Taye Diggs movies, or shit, any Black Cinema, where typically either Sanaa Lathan, Vivica A. Fox, or Gabrielle Union plays the lead black woman where theres love, hurt, turmoil, the turning point, and then ultimately the climax that ends good? I'm trying to have one of those moments. One of those "Love Joneses" moments. One of those ""play for your heart" type moments. Sound corny as hell right? That's the truth though.

You never know the things you have until you don't have them in your possession, and sometimes you have to give up plenty in order to get them. I love seeing my friends and associates happy, but its bout time I can say the same things. Shit wont be easy..at all. Need work. As I sit here...drinking my Lipton Brisk, trying to check for grammatical errors in efforts to make myself "look like I type perfect" (I don't), you got to understand one thing...this my life, I'm no gossip blogger. This is my life. And you should be in it. For good.

Enjoy what's to come, Expect less of what's behind you.

Are you ready?

-G

The Soundtrack For Arched Backs.

2010-09-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

If you're Like me....You like to have sex. I hope you do. It's human nature. Safely though. Practice it. However: These are a list, unrevised, of songs, Old and new, that I've compiled for you to make a playlist on your Ipod or whatever for the extended weekend, you and your lady, to get it in to. This one's for the lovers:::

Usher- That's What It's Made For
Drake- Find Your Love
T-pain - put it down
2pac - temptations
R. kelly - the greatest sex
R. kelly - strip for you
Avant - read your mind
Common - come close
Ginuwine - differences
Tamia - so into you
R. kelly - seems like ya ready
Janet jackson - anytime, anyplace
Silk - freak me
Tyrese - signs of love makin
Tyrese- One
Tyrese- On Top of Me*********
Jodeci - freak n you
Chris brown - take you down
The dream - falsetto
The dream - purple kisses
112 - anywhere
Jon b - pretty girl
Joe - all the things your man wont do
Joe - no one else comes close
Ginuwine - pony
Ludacris - woozy
Ludacris - Splash Waterfalls
Twista - get it wet
Lauren hill - sweetest thing
Usher - twork it out
Jamie Foxx- Do What It Do
Nivea Feat. R.Kelly- Touchin
Omarion- O
T-Pain -Studio Love
TLC- Red Light Special
Pretty Willie- Lay Your Body Down
Michelle'- Something In My Heart
Janet Jackson- Warmth
Justin Timberlake- Until the End of Time
Mint Condition- Pretty Brown Eyes
Lloyd- Feels So Right
Lloyd- Cadillac Love
Floetry- Getting Late
Mariah- Joy Ride
R.Kelly- The Greatest Sex
Sons of Funk- Pushin' Inside of You
Craig Davis- Personal
Craig David- Take Em Off
Trey Songz - role play
Trey Songz - we should be
The Dream- Fancy
Ne-yo- Mirror
Chris Brown- Sex

J. Holiday- Bed
Trey Songz- On Top
Chris Brown- Take My Time
Teedra Moses- Backstroke
Trey- Jupiter Love
Isley Brothers- Between The Sheets
India Arie- Ready for Love
Sade- No Ordinary Love
Jamie Foxx- Slow
Jill Scott- Crown Royal
R.Kelly- Honey Love
Joe- Somebodys Gotta Be On Top
Drake- Brand New
ove Scene - Joe
Feelin' On Yo Booty- R Kelly
15 Mintues - Mario
We Should Be- Trey Songz

Butta Love- Next
Take You Down- Chris Brown
Number One (Sex)- R Kelly ft Keri Hilson
Leave It All Up To You- Pretty Ricky
Turn Me On- Cocorosie
Sex Me- R Kelly
Trading Places - Usher
Sex With You- Marques Houston
So Anxious- Ginuwine
Wey You- Chante Moore
Sexy Love- Ne-Yo
Bump N Grind- R Kelly
The Sweetest Love- Robin Thicke
Sexy Can I- Ray J
Honey- Erykah Badu

Love Scene - Janet Jackson
Make It Last Forever- Keith Sweat
These Are The Times- Dry Hill
Let's Get Lifted Again- John Legend
Slow Jams- Usher
Takes Time To Love - Trey Songz
Wait For You Forever - Mishon
Love Music - Chris Brown
My Boo - Usher
Stuttering - Mario

Before and After - Corey Williams
Touch My Hand - David Archuleta
Yours To Hold - Skillet
For You To Notice - Dashboard Confessionals
Calling You - Blue October
Till (Your Legs Start Shakin')- Sleepy Brown
Between The Sheets- The Isley Brothers
These Are The Times- Dru Hill
Love You Gently- Usher
Slow- Jamie Foxx
Freakin' Me- Jamie Foxx
In My Veins- Jesse McCartney
Makin' Good Love- Avant
15 mintues- Mario
Butta Love- Next
Take You Down- Chris Brown
We Should Be- Trey Songz
None of Your Friends Business- Ginuwine
Say Yes- Lil Corey
Slow Jamz- Usher
Birthday Sex- Jeremih
Love You Gently- Usher
Slow- Jamie Foxx
In My Veins- Jesse McCartney
Makin' Good Love- Avant
None of Your Friends Business- Ginuwine
Say Yes- Lil Corey
Let's Get Married- Jagged Edge
Feel the Same Way I Do- Destiny's Child
Put A Little Umph In It- Jagged Edge
Freakin' Me- Jamie Foxx
You- Lloyd
Angel- Amanda Perez
Tear It Up- Young Jeezy
Stay- Pretty Ricky
Anytime, Any Place - Janet Jackson
Leave It All Up To You- Pretty Ricky
Nasty Song- Lil Ru
Jodeci - Freakin' You
Trina & Plies- I Gotta Problem
50 Candles- Boyz II Men
Lingerie- Pleasure P
Let It Flow- Toni Braxton
Red Light Special- TLC
I Belong To You- Rome
Honey Love- R Kelly
Lay Down- Shiro
You- Athena Cage
First You Said- Assorted Flavors
Love Won't Let Me Wait - Major Harris
Make it Last Forever- Nobody
Put Your Loving Through the Test- Keith Sweat
What's Your Fantasy - Ludacris
They Don't Know- Jon B
He Can't Love You- Jagged Edge
Tell Me- Bobby Valentino
Chrisette Michele - If I Have My Way

Until I Get...There: My Ode To Jozen

2010-08-26T07:45:00.000-07:00

Now mind you, I'm not good with attempting to try to SOUND like a perfectionist, nor am I an asskisser, but I like to give credit where it's due. In the past year or so, I've followed one person, one blog daily. It's driven me to write more, yet give slight insight on my life. At 23, I haven't done much of what he's done, but I just wanted to shine light on Jozen. "Until I Get Married" has pretty much been my Bible for the better part of 2010 and the end of 2009. When I was going through trials and tribulations with women, I knew...he had been there, done that. Almost to the point he perfected my flaws.

Its good to know when you have someone older that you can look to for insight. So some of his blogs I've gone and tried to put my own insight into because of a similar situation. It's not a "Tucker Max" situation where the blogs had been ripped off and sold as someone elses. His stories are his, mine are simply mine. I could brush up on a spell check or two sometimes, but this is as real as it gets for me.

So Jozen, this is to you man, I appreciate you for being My "Michael Jordan", the guy I strive to be, but probably won't ever get there. Hopefully one day I meet you, and just thought you should know that.

- Greg

The Cunnilingus Chronicles: Showerlude

2010-08-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

:She wants me deep. She wakes up wet, dripping of a dreaming fantasy of us fornicating on those Satin Sheets. Pussy juices co-mingling with my facial hair, passionate screams as her knees buckle from my penetration.”

Verbal seduction, the thoughts of you digging your nails in my back has me writing this. I’ve thought once or twice about wrapping a fistful of hair around my wrist, grabbing you back as you quiver on my dick. I’m trying to stroke your self esteem if you know what I mean. I’m trying to release every endorphin in your body. I know you sleep naked. Its wet right now, and I want my dick in it. Fantasizing about digging your nails in my back, fresh French manicure scrapping the chocolate skin that covers my spine. I have a hard on thinking about the things I want to do to you. I could preach it for hours, but I rather make this quick. Over and over, and over again.

I want to: Do the things I used to do, the physical, the impossible, the unthinkable. I want to fuck you so good, the eye shadow you wore to the club that night runs down your face from the perspiration of you sweating your hair out...Knowing you got it done recently. I want to arch your over grab your shoulders and fuck you like I hate you. Like a quickie isn’t good enough, I need to get it, hit it, quit it, and repeat it. You better cum on this dick. So much your sheets need to be changed now...not the next day. Then we’lll head to the shower were I’ll wash you up then fuck you again for a half an hour. Suds rolling off you, onto me, dick inside of you, you cumming on me. Dove soap scents and Warm Vanilla Sugar candles on the sink you bought from Bath & Body Works, grabbing the shower curtains because the soap dish too wet for your thigh’s leverage.

Force me to remember all those places that get forgotten in the kisses. Your inner thighs, the back of your kneecaps, between your index and thumb. All of the above. I want to kiss places that hair don’t grow. I want to kiss places that if you could reach them with your eyes, you’d see why I’m in love with them. Your lower back, the back of your neck, I want to suck them, lick them, taste them, I want to roll you up in a blanket and fuck you until you air dry. These are the thousands of thoughts that might go on in my mind.

I just wonder if you know that I’m still thinking of things to do, wondering if you’re ready to attempt them, because I have a bucket list bullet-ed with quite a few, that can only be done by you. This list isn’t for the Satin Sheets, this is for the counter, the shower, the wall, the floor, the edge of the bed. These are the Chronicles of Cunnilingus and I’m attempting to give you some head.

He don't need 'em, so he treats 'em like he treats 'em

2010-08-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

...Better them than me, she don’t agree with em’.

Now I’ve been really trying to be consistent, or somewhat consistent with this blog again. Three blogs in a week is a good thing. Could speak on plenty but I dont. I try to just keep shit simple and personal, but sometimes the thoguht that someone might view it may be a good thing. So lets converse. Well...I will. You ever felt like you’ve fucked up so much when it comes to life, that its like you have a “Karma” halo. Now mind you...the ex of three years, family still reference her every once in a while. Why, is beyond me. I’ll love her even after I die, but some things just don’t work out. That being said I go into every situation with “the next girl” like so: Head first.

I’ve faulted plenty of times trying that laid back shit only to either get bored...or simply get played. Yes, I’ve been played before. Shit happens. Spanish fly who would fuck me but bunned the regular in the face dude. The interim. Shit, even...the name unspoken. But lets move forward before I get off subject. I might have a guilty conscience, but I’ve been guilty of being right before. Now theres this. Like I know somethings up. They wont speak on it, I wont ever know, but I know theres a third party. I can’t knock it, females do that. Keep a backup in case something goes wrong. Now...me being the old me...I’d probably be like “fuck it, I’ll go and get my own side piece”. But really..how many times have I done that and blogged about it? Sometimes...you just want what you want, even if what they want might take more.

Do I become the old Greg? Probably not. I have a heart again, and if I result to the old me...it wont end good. It never does, 1730 phone contacts later. I used to get around. So...Maybe..

next blog.

I Guess Its Gon Be What Its Gon Be;

2010-08-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

See....Im the type that hates to argue. But you...its like you bring that out. Sometimes, I have that urge to just strangle the shit out of you. I’m going to blame it on you being spoiled. You spoiled lil’ LA girl. Shit is sickening. I hate you sometimes, but I be wanting to fuck you so bad. To the point I don’t want any other man to have you. This is a tangled web we weave, and I’ve brought my needle and thread. What the fuck is it about you that sometimes I just want to go and fuck another bitch but I cant? I dont even know. Guess its like Kanye says, It’s bittersweet. Sometimes I swear you be fucking other niggas, cause lets be honest, you’re beautiful. If I were another nigga chasing you, I’d find every way possible to be inside of you.

This is directed at you, nobody else just you. Other bitches don’t matter, it rhymes, too. I deleted all those other bitches because see...the only person worth talking to is, you. Shit I mean I’m talking...TO YOU. This is me speaking here. I can’t even call it. I’ve been a whore for so long, that actually talking to someone makes me thingk they might actually be doing some wrong shit. Because shit...I’ve done it. Twice, three, maybe four times. Theres been times I’ve gotten ass at a quarter to five. Shit last year alone I vouched for six, seven, eight nine, maybe ten dimes. But see nah...you’re mine.

This isn’t a blog, this is just an open letter. If you read it shit, that might be better. You might want to curse me out, that’s the way you do. I guess you like to fuck, but you love to argue. That’s why I fuck with you. You never make shit simple. Which got me texting you. Sexting you. Trying to figure out new, creative ways to have sex with you. Because I’m sexual and you’re intellectual. Makes me want to lay next to you. And never wake up. Because see for me it’s more than the butt, cause I can go anywhere for a fuck. But I’m careful now about where I nut.

So maybe you might be thee. Fucked up part is, I don’t even know what thee might be. I been single for so long, I’ve started ignoring faces just to get the pussy. Shit, I figure it’s all the same since they all want a man with money. Fucked up part is....they don’t get a dime from me. Answer me why all of this shit I’m saying rhymes, it’s funny. Because you and I go together like two thighs cause honey, I’m trying to add, subtract, and even divide my money....Time, space, and my bed, cause like two eyes, I see, you and I, only being beside...

See I can’t even find a word to but next to beside so I’m going to ignore it and go to the next line...Alright? See before I got to sleep I call you at night. No LL Cool J, no staring at my walls at night. I might call you, you don’t answer, but see that’s e, alright? Cause you’re so fine, it’s like beauty sleep you might need, and you define that right? Cause you’re beautiful. As I’m writing this, I’m typing, but I only see you. But its like.. Every time I speak...its like all we do is...

argue.

So What'cha Saying?

2010-08-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

I probably could type half of this blog you’re about to read better, but lately has been one of those “I could give a fuck, but I don’t give a fuck” type of ordeals. I still have my google reader set up to read particular blogs, no doubt I do, but in the meantime I’ve been living. And that’s taken up the bulk of my time. I’ve actually gotten quite cozy female wise, and been entertaining that more than you think. Sure...there will be people who text and call considering the fact, but I probably “could give a fuck, but I don’t give a fuck”. So what have I been up to. Plenty.

I woke up one day, same as usual. One pants leg before the other, brushed teeth, mouthwash, washed face, clippers to the beard...the ever typical of myself. Then..I did something I dont normally do. I looked in the mirror. Shit..I was surprised. I think the last time I looked in the mirror this long was the night I spent the night at “Bays” house. Now don’t confuse “Baywith “Bay” that Florida term, it’s nothing of the such. Basically..she was a female I had entertained for a couple years via the social...then once she got out of her long-term relationship decided to use me as a fuck thing. Sure...you’d think thats no problem. But I’m like this with mine.

“Why give you something for free someone’s willing to pay for?”

Moving the fuck on. That ended abruptly. I see her out every now and again, but I’ll look, she’ll look, and I’ll walk right past her. I dont see the novelty in being with someone for years, then mysterious become single and want to “explore options”. You aint missed much sweetheart. She’ll probably read this a/or here about this thinking I’m bashing. I’m not. Promise. I’m past it. Go Cardinals.

In recent months I’ve reflected. Thought a lot. Just like Netta (semi-literate.blogspot.com), I’m a control freak. Yeah, some shit I might ask you to do I might not do myself. It’s a trial and error thing. If you try it and its an error, hey...maybe I don’t need to do it. This comes down to everything from watching television, to penetration, to shit..even trying articles of clothing. I’m just that way. Notice how many “I’s” you’ve seen in this blog. Before I was an “us” and “we” type of alpha male. Too many love longs in my day. Glad we’ve come to terms.

Things I hate that bitches do. Dont get me wrong. the term “bitch” is used in a fashionable sense because according to some women..its not “right” to call them that. Which leads me to the firs thing I hate. Women who instigate and carry on an argument over something so feeble. Granted sure...the make up sex helps. But:

I hate to fucking argue. As a man my only form of defense is to get loud. I’m 23, and have made more women cry than I thought I’d reach by 25. I’m not ATTEMPTING to set a record. Sometimes..I’m LETTING you be right. Just so we can move past it. Shut the fuck up now.
Women who feel the need to bash a male and or female because you weren’t chosen. This goes for males too: Be clear, you weren’t the one. Someone loves you, it just wont be from that particular person. Grab your duffle, your muzzle, and pack it up, shut it down. I’ve been a casualty of this dumb shit once this year.

“Not Really Going To” Sexsters”. Dont go texting me bribing me with pussy. Just give me a time and place. I’ve noticed this shit is like a worldwide epidemic, so its NOT just people local to myself. Those “What you doing tonight texts”..Only to tell me you have plans and or you’re staying in the house. I’ve developed a policy. Answer ALL text messages in 8-16 minute intervals. Make em wait.

I havent quite figured life out yet..But I know this..sooner or later I’ll be 60, 70 years old. And I’ll probably look back in this blog like “damn I did this and that wrong”. That’s a part of my life. And I continue to fuck up. It’s an adventure. Long as I dont die, or have some life altering situation where I have to hide in a box, I’m bound to make a mistake. I’m intitled to it. You’ll hear about it. It’s like drinking a pack of Four Lokos on a Saturday night. It’s so necessary.I hate to fucking argue. As a man my only form of defense is to get loud. I’m 23, and have made more women cry than I thought I’d reach by 25. I’m not ATTEMPTING to set a record. Sometimes..I’m LETTING you be right. Just so we can move past it. Shut the fuck up now.
Women who feel the need to bash a male and or female because you weren’t chosen. This goes for males too: Be clear, you weren’t the one. Someone loves you, it just wont be from that particular person. Grab your duffle, your muzzle, and pack it up, shut it down. I’ve been a casualty of this dumb shit once this year.

“Not Really Going To” Sexsters”. Dont go texting me bribing me with pussy. Just give me a time and place. I’ve noticed this shit is like a worldwide epidemic, so its NOT just people local to myself. Those “What you doing tonight texts”..Only to tell me you have plans and or you’re staying in the house. I’ve developed a policy. Answer ALL text messages in 8-16 minute intervals. Make em wait.I havent quite figured life out yet..But I know this..sooner or later I’ll be 60, 70 years old. And I’ll probably look back in this blog like “damn I did this and that wrong”. That’s a part of my life. And I continue to fuck up. It’s an adventure. Long as I dont die, or have some life altering situation where I have to hide in a box, I’m bound to make a mistake. I’m intitled to it. You’ll hear about it. It’s like drinking a pack of Four Lokos on a Saturday night. It’s so necessary.

...Using the Internet To Find S/O's.

2010-06-18T08:38:00.000-07:00

....I've had flings, fucks, friendships, and relationships all from the internet. Shit is what it is. I'm not out running the streets, not a hustler, and not a heavy clubber. I dont pride ymself off beign a club groupie, in there every thursday, knowing the bouncers and whatnot. However I do. How? The internet. The same people I'll end up meeting at a club...have Facebook, twitter, etc. What would be the difference in me saying:

1.) I met my wife at the club. She added me on Facebook, we talked for a while, started dating.
or
2.) I met my wife on Facebook. we knew each other for a while, followed each other, spontaneously met at a club, and started dating.

Its all the same. In the age and era we live in. The internet is not only a source of security, but of information. If you think the only thing the internet personas can offer you are "conversation", then you are one step closer. Whats going to happen when you have a conversation with a guy whos so savvy with his words, that woos you? "Oh I met you online, I dont do that" is what you're going to say? C'mon.. Be realistic.

The internet is a pre-requiste to the real world. If you can't make it on here, you have no business living in the real world. Period.

Glad I'm Grown.

2010-06-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

A lot of women have come in and out my life. Not many I cared for, some that were strictly sexual, and then, theres "those bitches". Now granted, I aint talked or blogged about many in the past two months, just because, I was evaluating... these bitches. I only call them "these bitches" because theres so many of them, its quite easy to take the pricetag of a woman off of them, and label them this. Lately theres been a few. Mainly because they see me happy. Which is cool. I've come to terms that you "get what you pay for".

Now since August, I've blogged less mainly because I been content with my own shit. I've fucked less, talked shit less, and as a result, less drama has ensued. I told myself by December 1st, all drama would cease. It's June 15th, and only one issue remained. Bitches. I say this laughing because I used to be a bad guy. I think Summer of 2009 was my worst year ever living. I fucked just for the sake of fucking. Flirted with the idea of never getting caught. And most times, I didn't. But that shit gets old. Time to settle down have my own.

All my boys have their girlfriends. And all my female friends have they dudes. They lined them up perfectly, right before Black Friday. Unique. I'm proud of them. Cool.

My inspiration to blog again came from many places I guess. People have been like "Greg, why you been slacking". Well quite frankly my life aitn for the pen and pad anymore. Trying to settle down, get shit correct. Trying to have one woman I sleep with on the regular. Maybe create a kid or something as much as I be speaking of how I'm tired of being a bachelor and shit.

But then things dawn on me:

I know a lot of women who lie. I've had a woman lie to me about dreaming of fucking another man. Then lied about hanging with a dude she used to fuck. Like come on. I can lie a WHOLE lot better and more consistently than you sweetheart. Would you LIKE to play this game of Tit-for-tat? Or just be real about yours? Exactly.
I know a lot of friends should be associates. Simply, many of yall aint shit. And real recgonize real. You're looking real unfamiliar right now.
My Phone's silent feature is great: Fuck your message. Ill get to it when life bores me and I pull my phone out my pocket.

But forreal though. Let me stop slandering women. I know y'all read my blogs like "damn hes always going through it". I do be. Regardless of the age. 30 year old. 26 year old. 19 year old. 24 year old. Women are the same. Men are too but I dont swing that way. So focus on the sex with the vaginal region.

Sometimes that "Its not the way it has to go, its just what I prefer" hits close to home. Some things simply go better my way. You dont have to agree. I lead a simple life but people seems to be prone to drama and controversy. Must be nice. Not my twist.

....Thank Me Right Now, Please. Dont Wait.

2010-06-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

Welcome back.

Whew.. Where has time gone? Well since the last you've heard of me I've been through plenty. Like really, I been through shit most would find impossible. Not like flying off a building and landing standing up, but forreal. So I've been attempting to pump out 30 in 30. Feel like I can do it. I owe y'all. Where can I start? The women who've been in and out of my life? Nah....thats too easy. Lets focus on me. I've found out a LOT about myself in the past 8-9 months. I reflected, I asked others, shit...I even READ BOOKS. Yes. Me. Read books. I'm already smart as shit, but Kindles! KINDLES!

A friend of mine (yes, they are still a friend) told me I was selfish. Insecure. Rude. Self-Obsorbed. Amongst other things.

They aint wrong. I'm an asshole. Personally I prefer ME, over you. If they had to off you or me...It'd be you. I am a firm believer of the "Dont Snitch" movement. Regardleof the tattle tales on First 48 I watch ever so much. However. My self pleasure is much more than what you can give me. Kanye said it best. "I dont need your pussy bitch I'm on my own dick".

And I am. I promise. I learned plenty. Women like men that they cant have. Bitches like to control situations they really cant. Married individuals lie. Single individuals lie. The truth hurts. And exes are just that. Exes.

In retrospect of Drakes' album coming out...I felt it was only proper for me to start it off on his release date. Now mind you....my blog has been the same since Room For Improvement was hot. It just so happened my theories of his album coming out AFTER another Birdman & TQ album was wrong. Congrats. But this my blog. I downloaded your shit.

Tomorrow I'll go in. 29 to go.

Moist Satin Sheets: Make You So Wet, I'll hydroplane.

2010-01-21T13:31:00.000-08:00

...So I come to, and we're in her bed. Naked, shes' on top of me, I'm underneath her. She's still going for it. Pussy pulsating on my dick as I'm still hard, anticipating her sliding up and down to a rhythm that must be just in her head. Pussy so wet, feels like I'm hydroplaning inside of her, uncontrollably as she cries and moans with each stroke.

She lowers her head as she puts it on my chest, biting my shoulder, licking down my neck as I go deeper. I roll over and put her on her stomach. Planting myself on top of her, I roll a handful of hair into my fist, as her neck jerks back, she lets out a moan. I grab her throat with the other hand, gently, before I put my index finger in her mouth. She nibbles on it, then starts to suck it slowly as if she was planting her tongue on the base of my penis as she pleasured me. I let her, as I start to go into deep circles as the second hand on the clock behind me on her dresser clicks repeatedly.

Her body so gorgeous, I'm wondering how it look from the inside. I caught the vibes from her pussy muscles making conversation with my shaft as I dug deeper, hitting down bottom as she started whispering in my ear. Giving it to her like I owe her something, I know she shallow so I take it deeper. I plan on cumming as long as she want it, so I pick her up by the waist as her hands reaching for the sheets to grab. Dick completely inside, I let her fall backwards as my back hits the mattress and she glides her pussy down on me once again, this time in reverse cowgirl position.

You see, I have a slight obsession with letting a woman enjoy herself as I enjoy her so this time I picked the proper place to do things. On the edge of the bed mirror facing her directly as she watches herself enjoying me. The sun peaking through the blinds I peep out the corner of my eyes but I let her continue to get to it as I palm her ass with the left hand and bite my lower lip from the feeling I'm getting. She's getting aggressive with it, as she pounces off it grabs my hand and tells me she wants to take me somewhere I never been. So I let her.

She walk to the balcony where she tells me to grab the railing. So I do. She starts to caress my back, and down my spine, lower to my ass as she takes me in her mouth for a couple minutes. Caressing my love below with her throat, as she wrestles my pants off me leg by leg. Of course you know me, looking around for a spectator, don't see many, but the sun is coming up, and we're only on the second floor from what it looks like. So she turns herself around and put one leg on the railing, the other still standing, meanwhile telling me to have my way with her.

I face dive into her as I lick south to east, then insert my tongue slightly to see what she tastes like again. Familiar..and I like it. So I continue. Pussy juice falling from my face I let her grind her gym-trained body on the tip of my tongue, while it dampens my facial hair. Once I felt I had enough of a facial cleansing...I insert myself from the back to her liking. Only difference is now i picked up her second leg to the point the only thing that is supporting her is the railing she's holding. So we're fucking. I'm digging deeper as she howls and screams as I dig deeper. The early morning traffic is coming, the coolness of the pool below our suite combined with the breeze is giving off a sensation that we both can only describe with the motions of out bodies.

As I begin to lick down her back, we realize there are people watching, cars driving past slowing down, but it doesn't matter. The more people watch, the more she wants to do, so she thrust herself back onto my dick, at this point throbbing beyond belief. She lets out a cry that she's cumming and her legs shake uncontrollably. In efforts to cum in unison I start to stroke down at an angle in efforts to hit that G-spot more as she bounces back.

And just as we both decide to cum, the railing begins to give way, we both fall forward towards the pool ahead of us. We both open our eyes in confusion as we are back in the suite, but the only thing that is wet...

Are those Satin Sheets.

Its Not the way it has to go..It's just not how it was.- TwoThousandTen

2010-01-20T13:34:00.000-08:00

They say, "Damn Greg, were you been man? I know you been hiding..", I simply reply.. I been living. What else can I do? 2009 was one of my worse years. Fucked up that 7 is my favorite number, and 9 is so close. Dont judge me, I know it didnt mean nothing. And well..sicne I'm sittign here typing, I might as well add. The female I was dating and me= scraped. Out of respect for her I wish her well, regardless of the fact she wished bad Karma on me, and to never be happy. [That's the type females I attract I guess. The ex of 2008 said the same shit. Sue me.]

But I digress, she and me were on two paths walking in two different directions. Tried to make some shit work, but it wasnt. No details. But we no longer speak. Numbers been deleted. Profiles been private. Shit just changed. For the better. I had that period where I didnt want it to be over. Where I did the partial stalking shit like "I wonder what she's doing".. or thinking the worse..."What nigga is she fucking". Then I realized...I could build a bridge and walk over it with sneakers of fire. So I did. Next time we speak will be via ferry, I can tell you that. Forward motion, right? Right.

Its 2010...Single, pissing off females. I pissed off a chick I was getting to know during and post the breakup as a friend or whatever, mainly because of her inhibitions. Dont know how I attract females who look good, but their mindframes...strange. But homegirl was ugh. Then another woman..not girl cause she's a few years older [as most of them have been lately 25+], but um... long story short we've known each other for the better part of two years. She had broken up with the ex of ten+ years and we decided to kick it, just friend like. Obviously later rather than sooner, sex and everything transpired. Emotions got kicked in the air, and we jumped for them. Only problem is when we both came down, the portion I grabbed wasnt the same as hers. I understand now as I write this though. She has to get over the relationship. But I rather he do it without me being a spectator, and maybe in due time I'll try again or something. I can't fade it now though. My patience wearing thiner than see through leggins in the new year.

Amungst other shit. I been low key as possible. Gave up the Twitter lifestyle as a result. Is funny how life dries up like a prune in the sun when you arent accessible by the minute. Can't fake like I aint loving it. I had 900+ contacts in my phone. A few that when I looked at them I was like "umm..who's she"; Including:

1. "Really...Who are you"
2. Alexis
3. Howard Girl
4. Red Wine from Silver Spring

>>> I can't even afford to make a mistake and call them thinking I know them. I'm sure numbers been changed, phones mysteriously lost..off that "I lost my phone and got a new one" shit. So..I developed amnesia like Jason Bourne since I can't read minds like Sookie. [Ha...my new True Blood infatuation. Fangbang-esque.] <<<

Last year taught me plenty. Life aint about who you know. Shit, even the people I thought I knew aint know themselves. Sure, I have them moments I wish everything I wrote was getting retweeted, or commented on facebook..but The life I live aint the life I lead. Which is good. Hopefully my blogs take into account of that.

To know me is to..... theres a new me. -Drake

Can't really believe I went and quoted ol' boy, even though my blog is named after his cd which I hope aint slumming like his recent june09-Present material.

I made a mission on New Years Eve: Reach out to everyone one last time by 1-09-10 in hopes to reel them in. But of course, plenty got cement feet, so I'm letting em drown. Glad I saved who I could, but I can't let too many on my boat and expect to make it onto shore. Just maintenance of my mind I guess...

Theres a couple females around. When they matter, I'm sure I wont talk about them. In efforts to be somewhat more personal, and to avoid having a mishap of a girl I'm fucking with knowing a girl I'm talking to [while I'm still single I presume].. I just keep it to myself. I'm liking that idea. Lets see how many times I hear "I dont want to end up in one of your blogs" this year. I'm sure I'll be back around. Less of course, but when I do.. it'll be lengthy reads. Who's drinking? I'm buying. Lets toast to a New Year. I'm different. Clap for him.

Sleeping With The Enemy. She Was A Friend to Me..

2009-11-30T14:07:00.000-08:00

I know I know. I aint blogged in a while. Been living. Heres something for you to read, indulge in it.
---------------------------------

You should let me lay you down in the bathtub that I just ran for you.
Warm water with massage salt and vanilla sugar aroma to make your body
smell good. Then I can wash your body starting with your feet. Me
kissing your feet, sucking on each toe. Then after that, I kiss between
your thighs, blow air slowly into your the back of your kneecaps.

Then I want to bite you gently on the asscheeks while I lick around your
lower back and kissing it as well. Rubbing your pussy from the front,
your cremin on my fingers, I can feel the thickness of your juices on my
fingers. I pick you up out of the bathtub like a newborn baby. Wrap you
in a warm towel, and carry you in my arms to the bedroom.

Still wet and dripping from the bathtub, I rip the bedsheets off the bed
and lay you down on them. Kissing your body up and down while you lay on
the satin shets covered with white and pink roses that I layed out. With
some Slow music playing on the playlist in the background...I lay you
flat on your stomach.

Pull out the warm sensation body oils and begin to rub down your
neck....then I progress to your upper back. I climb on top of you from
the back...and start kissing on your neck. You feel my dick pulsating
through my "I love you" boxers that I wore specially for this evening.
My dick gradually sliding up and around your ass, your fiending for me
to just take you. So I pull them down, and slide it in your pussy while
you lie on your stomach.

Then I slide it halfway in. You instantly creme for it. Slowly moaning,
I ask you if you enjoy the pre show that I am giving you. You say
yes...but this is the beginning of a very long night.

I push deeper inside of you. My dick greets your belly button is. That's
how far I'm inside of you. Sucking on your ears and kissing behind them
as I work my dick in 180 degree circles, full
circles....in....out....left and right or your pusy walls.

You like that? Trust me...there's more.

Gone Til November?

2009-10-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

So, I’ve been making the attempt for a while now to write a blog. But honestly, I couldn’t mainly because of the lack of interest, and the lack of stories. I still have none, at least none that I would want to share. There was a girl… actually there were a few. And they all dwindled by the week. Seems like lucks only in my favor when I need to get one off. Which is cool. You’d say, “well damn Greg, you’re only 22, why not live life and have fun?” I’ve been doing that, but I feel I could do a better job. Majority of the natured shit I’ve done is to ease a females drawls off quicker. There was the bougie chick, the broke one, and the “I-just-got-out-of-a-relationship of X-amount of years” one. The last one holding the longest.

Basically my issue with her is we had a lot going, hell, we probably still do. She’slocal, we hang, spend time, blah blah, but yet, are not a couple. I can get with that. She’s no longer engaged to the ex-fiance, which is a plus, however, it seems like a two steps back after one forward thing is always the case in this scenario. We both admit feelings, then she retracts to the previous cat. I can’t fade it. So what I’ve learned to do is keep her at bay until I feel its right and necessary to see her. Probably the same way with her. #KanyeShrug [Yes, I used a Twitter hash, forgive me, It’s consumed my life]

Another note, I havent been partying recently, which has saved me a lot of money. However I’ve demoted myself to bars, which is practically the same thing, minus the half naked women, there are half naked bartenders. Oh, and the oh so typical drunk dude who sits by himself scoping on the couples, or man/woman on an outting. I refuse to be one of those, so, I’ve come up with the method of being drunk by 9PM. Basically its completely legit for me to go and get shit-faced drunk by myself during happy hour. But at 9:05, I should be leaving the vicinity. It’s a method. Trust me, I’ve studied.

I’m kind of stuck when it comes to words..first time in my life, but I just wanted y’all to know I’m still alive, I have things to say, but I just choose not to say them because I’m not in the position to, and I’m sure everyone will have an opinion. My sex life is fine for now as well. Could be a whole lot more raunchy. And it shall. When?.. Let’s aim for December.

Toodaloo motherfuckers.

Set off A Spark. Old blog from on my phone.

2009-09-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

Update 9/17: This joint was originally dont back in July, but I never posted it. So for my lack of words off other situations and shit, this is what I'm giving you. Some thoughts have changed, but I didn't change the blog. Fuck it.

If you can see this, then that probably means your on the "guestlist" to read the blog. Basically I went private for a host of reasons. None of them really hold any weight, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older, and in order to protect the hearts of many, I have to tone down things I say in order to maintain my character.

My blog was never MADE to go and get attention, but more so to get out my thoughts. I tested it out a year ago, and sure, you get a few laughs, shits and giggles here and there, but the topics and discussions that did have substance were overlooked...often. Hence, we are private. I figured I'd go out of my way and ATTEMPT to blog at least once a week. But in May and June, well.. I've slacked. Just watching peoples moves and interactions with me. Trust me, I have a LOT to say but wont. Maybe I will.

The interim girlfriend and I broke up. She put it to me like this. "I care too much about myself to consider someone elses feelings. I dont want kids, marriage, or no drama." Basically she likes to party and bullshit. I can't knock her. At 25, what can you do? I on the other hand, can't see me waiting until 30 to "slow up". But to each his own cool.

Had a stalker. Left a four minute voicemail on my phone. I would post the audio but it has her address, name and all that in it. But there are some people who have heard it. Wasnt very pleasant. Basically she left for school in August in Georgia. NEVER called, text, courier, nada. Then came back in May acting like I was supposed to be stuck on her. Nah.

Fathers day. Basically, dude aint been right the past 22 years. He's always been on some on again, off again bullshit. Like prime example. His other family, dude goes, visits, chills, all that. Think dude came past here ONCE on Fathers Day? Nope. As a result dude got NO conversation from me. Now, maybe when I'm older, and he's old and grey, I'll write a blog like "oh Dad, I wish you'd forgive me"... But quite frankly, dude never cared anyway. Sure, he shells out a couple dollars. But he still holds the fact he payed $250.00 for summer school over my head. And that was the 11th grade.

I digress. I hate talking about family issues. He'll need me before I do.

Facebook/Twitter: I jie like been hesitant to really go and converse with people like I normally do. I've slacked on updates and statuses, and I've attempted to distance myself from a few folks. Mainly... they aint shit. I have women friends on both that have been drilled in the head that flirting must go all the way. it doesnt. So I had to put a buzz in one girls ear.

"Dear you, please be informed that even though you're cute, and your profile photo is sexy, you have no personality outside of this Facebook world. Sure, I've flirted with you, and yes, even went at you for sex. But trust me, 9 times out of 10, you were one of three females I did that to this week. Regards, Management."

Food for thought. Take a bite. Happy 4th. I'll be back.

Oyster sex...hot grits and extra steak. Your wonderful

2009-09-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

So, I finally went on my first date. Let me explain. I'm twenty two. Most of the women I entertain my life with are worthless. Which makes the evening even more fitting that my first vibe being with a blogger. Let's give backdrop.

First I wasn't expecting her to answer. I was going through my phone.. Basically going through my phone...texting seeing what females were doing for the night. I had a date set with this one broad..but she aint worth the spitting in a drizzle. Fuck her. So I texted a few and decided I would go on about seeing other folks. Nola was that. We will call her that cause yeah...that's her. We hadn't really spoken in a while but seemed to not miss a beat. I appreciate her.

We set up plans to meet and hang out around six. To see a Tyler Perry movie. And I don't fuck with dude so this was a stretch. So it ended up a bonus because the movie was decent. Taraji P. Henson is my bread and butter. I want to meet her and make our privates touch.

Digress. We get to Gallery Place and the conversation of exes come up. Granted I don't do the ex. I don't talk about the ex. She's where she's at and I be where I'm at. So I told Nola both sides of the situation. Whatever. My thing is I don't get brownie points for telling facts. I didn't get to go into details about that time I fucked Karriane in 2006. But ill blog about that later.

We get into the spot. We eat. We talked and came to the agreement that we don't do people with kids. I love her for the statement. Its wild because ill gladly fuck someone who has kids. Committing is something I can't. Reason I say this is mainly because I have a problem with committing to the woman but not the child. I feel like when I can be all and do all for the child...I'm just "mommys man". And even though I don't speak family shit...that's how my stepfather was prior to him marrying her. And I don't think I can wait until I wed before I can get someones child fully involved in my life. This aint for yall to understand...just how I feel.

Moving off that, Kanye's real bitchmade for Sunday night, but it's not my place to talk ashit about dude. The media will slander his name, and I will watch. He'll be downplayed like they did Ol Dirty in 97'. Lets not forget that interview on MTV.

Random Thoughts:

Can't wait for Florida. Ain't take a vacation all year, so I have every intention of doing so.

I want some sex. Just like off the strength, like one night I'll regret and forget before I go ahead and take that venture into the dating world again.

Will New York happen twice? Helix..?

"That six thats, me. That chick, thats me. That boat, I had it on the Medeterrian sea, my nigga please."

How come I meet three, four beautiful, intellectuals all at the same time? Shit is wild. Makes selection fucked up.

Saturday joint [that aint happen] Why would you hit me up acting like I forgot. It's true, white women be forgetting shit. I don't though. Bitches and sisters I swear.

Friend who got kicked out of Park on her birthday: Yeah, you lame. You aint call to say thanks or nothing for us picking your drunk ass up. Should've left your ass stranded. Lose yourself. No bullshit.

I would've went on about my date, but yeah, you get the whole aspect of where it went. She's cool foks. We'll hang again. Due time. I'll holla.

Jay-Z at Madison Square Garden Sept 11, 2009

2009-09-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

More.

DMV is too small. I've talked to two friends before. Shit be happening.

2009-09-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

I'm going to let Greg write this blog. My alter-ego can't handle this type blog without it going into a tangent. So lets rock.

I've talked to a host fo females in my day. Me living in DC, I'm sure most of them know each other in reference to the third. They may not be best friends, but they've clubbed together, their friends with a friend of a friend, or shit, they may have actually been close. I'm not guilty for knowing. I don't go out of my way and say "you know I'm going to fuck with her, and her friend just to make an option for myself". I'm not that hardbody. As a result, I lost a female friend, and a girl I was going to get serious with, temporarily until we talked the situation out about this.

Apparently I was talking to her and her friend, whom I didnt know were friends. So she felt slighted because I was telling her the same things I was telling ol girl. This is how I function when I meet a person:

I dont tell them anything different. I don't instigate family into conversation for the first six weeks. Period. Some shit you need not know of.

I don't lie. You will know everything I tell the last girl, because 9 times out of 10, I'm fucking with you because you remind me of the characteristics I like...and...honestly, that last girl had that. It's how shit works.

My friend says I have "Pussy Madness". When I talk to women, I talk to them in threes. I have: The frequent, the freak, and the wanderer.

The frequent is the girl I want to be in the position as my girl, but she's just like me. She wants to play the odds in order to find Mr. Right. So I find myself competing with other niggas for her attention. I like the chase, until another man is in first place, and I'm in a position other than that. That's when the freak comes in. The freak is the girl that I talk to when the other broads bore me. We text freak shit to stimulate my interest and occupy my time. It happens. I'm to blame.. This is the Alter ego guy.. Sue me. Then you have the wanderer. She's the one who's the friend, that SHOULD be the lover. I have plenty of them.

Basically I WANT her, should HAVE her, but she's determined to keep me in the friend bracket because of what she sees me doing with the frequent and the freak. She is usually the one who I can go and talk to about everything, and she is cool with it THEN, but when I pour my heart about her being the one... She's quick to:

"I know how you do these females"

I hate that shit. With a passion. If 2009 had a motto, mine would be "I don't know exactly what to make out of you". Mainly due to the fact....women don't know me. They never will. On Twitter last night I put it out there I have an Alter Ego. Greg..and Al. Al is the raunchy dude that women want around after 8pm. The freak joint that keeps them laughing, entertained. All women want that "rush" that they can run to. My issue is I don't show "Greg" enough. Greg is the one they would date if Al wasnt around so much. And no I dont have Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage, I'm just a very gente person. Me..and him.

SoI know she's reading this, so I apologize for fucking with you and her.. I was just playing the cards dealt to me. I promise you I'm a good dude and you won't meet two of me in your life. It should've worked, and I could've treated the situation with better tactics, but end of the day, I'm a man, I make excuses without a strategic thought process, but I mean well. That's one thing she can say I've never told her. Tell her that. Plus, you were the better party. You and I both know why.

This is Greg... And I wont finish last.

Nice guy my ass.

Least let me tell you WHY I'm this way..Hol on.

2009-09-10T14:04:00.000-07:00

Came to the conclusion a lot of people going to fuck around until 30, so I'ma be one of them. Wont even go indo details, but at least it will keep my blogs rolling in right? Right.

This is probably the slowest year I've had in my blogging career. In a month I wrote one blog. SO I'm going to bang out 20 blogs in the next thirty days. But they all wont be posted. I'm aiming to have a whole lot of shit on my conscience, off of my conscience. So I'm going to do just that. My blackberry is about to get some heavy flex work in the memopad section beecause I have a host of things to say. Lets first start talking about these bitches.

Granted I'm going over a lot of bitches heads these days. I had a female tell me she couldnt fuck with me cause of what I say on Twitter. But we fucked. I just want to fuck again. Mainly because the shit is burning in my conscience. Its funny because she only comes around when no other niggas want to fuck with her, I get that Twitter update or a random text message like "How you been". I been here, been left you alone, fuck you want this month. Ever since she been single she's been needy, so I'm been giving it the benefit of the doubt of her being a nice person, but to be quiet honest, I want to fuck. She want to fuck, and aint nothing else about it.

[Water Break. Long Paragraph]....

I don't want her as a girl, just a couple nights of regrets, and a morning of excuses. You know? It's funny how down bitches are to fuck until their conscience gets to them when they realize "damn.. I really have to go through with this". It phases me none. I've fucked for the fuck of it for so long in my twenty-two years, I can honestly say I've only had "loving" sex once. And that was with my partner of three years. Everything else has been like "oh.. wonderful. A nut". Rude, but its a fact.

Moving south, I've been deleting bitches out my phone. I call them bitches once they are deleted mainly due to the fact if you get deleted out my phone, gotta be off some fuck shit. I don't even have the "Phonebook" as an icon on my phone because I rarely dial out. And I dont go through my contacts. I figure my recent 25 call log are the only people worthy of being called. And from the gist of it.. Thats:

Moms
Home
Work
Late Night Hike
April
Ledos
Larnell
Latina
Justin
Skinny
Semora
Dee
Pops

That's pretty much what be mattering to me. Everybody else either got a pussy or just want to be entertained for a short period of time. Shit happens. I'm entertaining. I can't help but be used. My problem is I reply. So I've learned to go hard and not even answer some people after some text exchanges.

Her: Hey
Me: What's up. I'm trying to get up with you. [no need for cut cards.. get on the goodfoot]
Her: Lol
Mer: Fuck is you laughin at?
Her: lol, no, Its not, its just your always on joking status
Me: Man stop playing me for a fool.
Her: I can't do it though.

Conversation ceased there. You want to grab a nut when your pussy screams to your brain, but when I want it, I got to jump through hoops like my name Sonic. #GOTCHBITCH you done lose one. So I deleted slim out my phone. Conversations can and will go my way. I'm that rude about it. If I was rude about mine, I'd tell her to lose my number too, but I'll just wait until she text me again, or hit me up on one of these Internet joints and be like "Nah, I X'ed you.". You been demoted to keystrokes. Your communication minimal. Yep. She ain't the only one. There will be more. Most of them have boyfriends, and be texting "just to see whats up". Text that man. I have a day job.

Fuck yall

Checking Phonebook: Bam.. I see contacts I ain't hit up in 90 days. Gotta go, gotta go.

Lets hope I have more to run with until later. I feel better about myself at the expense of others. Shit happens. But I'm no longer to be fucked with.

#wrapitup

9.9.9

2009-09-09T19:09:00.000-07:00

Just something for me to look back on. Pay this blog no mind.

A little about the number 9:

Nine is a composite number, its proper divisors being 1 and 3. It is 3 times 3 and hence the third square number. It is the first composite lucky number.

Nine is the highest single-digit number in the decimal system. It is the second non-unitary square prime of the form (p2) and the first that is odd. All subsequent squares of this form are odd.

9 is an exponential factorial.

In base 10 a number is evenly divisible by nine if and only if its digital root is 9.[3] That is, if you multiply nine by any natural number, and repeatedly add the digits of the answer until it is just one digit, you will end up with nine:
2 × 9 = 18 (1 + 8 = 9)
3 × 9 = 27 (2 + 7 = 9)
9 × 9 = 81 (8 + 1 = 9)
121 × 9 = 1089 (1 + 0 + 8 + 9 = 18; 1 + 8 = 9)
234 × 9 = 2106 (2 + 1 + 0 + 6 = 9)
578329 × 9 = 5204961 (5 + 2 + 0 + 4 + 9 + 6 + 1 = 27 (2 + 7 = 9))
482729235601 × 9 = 4344563120409 (4 + 3 + 4 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 3 + 1 + 2 + 0 + 4 + 0 + 9 = 45 (4 + 5 = 9))

The sum of the digits of 41 is 5, and 41-5 = 36. The digital root of 36 is 3+6 = 9, which demonstrates that it is evenly divisible by nine.
The sum of the digits of 35967930 is 3+5+9+6+7+9+3+0 = 42, and 35967930-42 = 35967888. The digital root of 35967888 is 3+5+9+6+7+8+8+8 = 54, 5+4 = 9.

41-14 = 27. The digital root of 27 is 2+7 = 9.
36957930-35967930 = 990000, which is obviously a multiple of nine.

This works regardless of the number of digits that are transposed. For example, the largest transposition of 35967930 is 99765330 (all digits in descending order) and its smallest transposition is 03356799 (all digits in ascending order); subtracting pairs of these numbers produces:
99765330-35967930 = 63797400; 6+3+7+9+7+4+0+0 = 36, 3+6 = 9.
99765330-03356799 = 96408531; 9+6+4+0+8+5+3+1 = 36.
35967930-03356799 = 32611131; 3+2+6+1+1+1+3+1 = 18, 1+8 = 9.

Casting out nines is a quick way of testing the calculations of sums, differences, products, and quotients of integers, known as long ago as the 12th Century.[4]

The Spiritual Meaning of the #9:
Nine: The spiritual meaning of number Nine bring us to the very height of vibrational frequencies in this number sequence. Nine represents attainment, satisfaction, accomplishment, and our success to achieve an influence in our circumstances. The spiritual meaning of number Nine deals with intellectual power, inventiveness, influence over situations and things. Nine beseeches us to recognize our own internal attributes, and extend these abilities out into the world to make a positive, influential difference.

Let us, be out.

2009-08-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

Been doing a lot of interneting... Its cool, I'll be doing it periodically. But I have to get back to that little thing I like to call reality. I'm sure I'll have plenty to blog about upon my return. Hopefully a new layout. We'll see.

The Quarter-Life Crisis.

2009-08-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out

Ninety.

2009-08-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

Remember Them Days? That's what it used to be. But that there I promise aint me.

Lately thinks have been different to say the least. Like life is having its way. Hopefully things go in my favor. I've tried my hand at prayer and getting more spiritual, and I've been consistent about it, so hopefully it goes right. You know how we folks are. A little something goes bad in our lives and we turn to God to fix them. But I never said I was perfect. I can only try right? So that I do.

Moving forwards, I've been doing more reading of peoples blogs than actually making my own. And its always interesting to hear what other people have on their minds, because I tend to have plenty on my own. I even went out and spent $40.00 to get Documents to Go on my Blackberry so I'd have all of the blogs ideas and thigns I want to write about in one location and be able to edit it and everything from one source. Then just post it on here. I wish Blackberries just got a damn Blogger app. That'd be the life. Especially since Wordpress has one.

I've also been considering a new layout. Hopefully Jeanetta has some time on her hands to do it for me because I do not know how to do it. Speaking of Jeanetta, she made me realize two things in her latest blog over on http://semi-literate.blogspot.com/

#1: I don't like wasting my time, and I dont enjoy meandering in pointless, drawn out situations.

and

#2: I don't like to keep friends with old sex partners. I need change like Obama, and keeping you around under the label of friendship is a hinrance of my overall goals.

Prime example being Interim. Loved her to death. Time spent was great. Sex was something to marvel, and her personality just grabbed me. We tried the 90 day thing, but couldnt make it 45. So as a result I've implemented the same rule Netta has. Three Months.

Basically in three months of fucking, talking, hanging out, talking, people should know exactly where they want to be with a person. If not "be" [because you know people don't commit anymore. That word can make roaches scatter], it gives you a consensus of where you two should be, either together or apart. It's not that much of rocket science if you think about it.

"The three month rule is mutually beneficial. I believe strongly in cutting off things before we get to the point of no return. The point of no return is that fine line. One side is us, happy with good type relations betwixt us. On the other side is me pissed and arson"

Can you honestly go against that word? I cant. Committment, or the thought of it is weird for people. And even at 22, I know what it means. Comitting to someone don't mean forever unless you make it. But being 22 doesnt mean "hey, I'm still young, I have plenty of time". [I personally hate that quote]. At 22, I've had more women in and out of my life than a Victoria Secret on Semi-Annual Saturday. Any man that enjoys doing this forever is a fool. Ginuwine was a bachelor, but now he has a plethora of rugrats. So anybody acting like being a player forever is good is a fucking fool.

But basically after the three months, when you buckle down and you tell your partner "look, it's been a while, shit needs to progress". Dont misconstrue partner with somebody you sporactically see and spend time with on occasion. I have had a few of them. Girls who as long as you dont "publically" act like they arent the only girl...they are cool with that. I've had a girl tell me "I talk to too many". So what I did was told her less, and gave her less evidence. Even though nothing changed, things changed for her. But it was COOL for her to pubically make a proclamation for singlehood, and the occasional "I need a man". Thats just the way of the world. But on my side of the street you'll get ticketed for Jaywalking.

Women do get mad when men go after and and everything at arms reach, but can't be mad because they never "wanted to put a ring on it" as Beyonce would say [I've always wanted to say that. That deserves a video]

Moving North, As Netta says, --> "Bitch... you done bamboozled yourself. You were headed distinctly down a path that you liked and were comfortable with and the next thing you know, he pulls an okeydoke. Now you wandering down a shitty dirt road, shoeless and squinting cuz you think you see a light at the end of this shit. Don't be simple. Them ain't lights hoe. Thems is fireflies and ain’t nothin ahead of you but more bullshit.

Bamboozlement = Bullshit and Bullshit eventually = the possibility of arson... "

The 3 month rule saves lives

Thats it...Ninety.

What More Can I say?

2009-08-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

The truth is I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't.

If I was more complacent and I let things slide, my life would be easier, but you all wouldn't be as entertained. My misery is your pleasure.

Are you not entertained?

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50 Mistakes We Men Make In the Bedroom

2009-07-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex

Just in case you thought the route to sexual bliss was straightforward, here's a list of things to avoid. They're all pretty much guaranteed passion killers for a woman - and if your check list contains more than ten of these, you've got some serious work to do on your sexual etiquette!

1 Going straight for the naughty bits

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it's sexy

She may not agree with you. In which case it will just be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you thought you were summoning up.

7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor

If you're over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously under sixteen.

8 Not shaving before sex

When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn't so sexy, but at least it'll produce a red rash she can remember you by.

9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex

If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover whose personal hygiene isn't up to scratch. Even though men have a higher smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean - especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) - is not just a matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.

10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked

Pretty much the same point we already made up above, but worth remembering: touch doesn't just have to be in the bedroom, a prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the day, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.

11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she's ready

This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of what's to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.

12 Dropping the condom on the floor

Must we say why this isn't the most popular move post sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue - put it in the bin rather than down the toilet, or it's likely to float there for some time to come as a reminder of your sexual encounter.

13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation

Like we said above, most women just find this irritating - and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when she's aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more acceptable for her than any pressure on the head of her clitoris.

14 Breaking off just as she's getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs

Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she's lying there quietly may actually mean she loves what you're doing; if so, you should feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she'd rather be out shopping.

15 Undressing her clumsily

Listen up guys: you don't have to be able to take her bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my experience, it's better if you don't try. She probably puts it on by fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the garments you don't understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand, undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you're ripping the paper off a birthday present.

16 Undressing yourself inelegantly - which includes taking your socks off after your underwear

Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.

17 Expecting her to shave for you

You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva, but she's more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask her nicely if you'd like her to go smooth. If she says "no", accept that graciously.

18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she's ready, willing and able

In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick things up there, is just as well. However, she'll only want you to do this when the time is right - i.e. when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. If you're giving her clitoris attention, there'll be a point where she might like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you don't know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into bed.

19 Entering her without asking her first

What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn't want to enjoy intercourse then don't press the point. This applies especially to any strategy that involves nudging your penis into position and then pressing forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise! Having said that, you don't always need to ask "May I enter you?" though it can be a romantic and sexy thing to do if you're looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, that's most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way, remains everyone's most popular position for sex.

20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in

This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.

20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure

When you've achieved your most desired objective, and your penis is inside her, you'll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it's best to start slow and shallow. While you're making love, she'll most appreciate your efforts if you're masculine and strong - which is to say, if you act like you know what you're doing, you're considerate and gentle at first, and work up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.

21 Expecting her to make love bottom up

Yes, we all enjoy rear entry. But she may be more self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. "It's incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love", rather than "I get so turned on fucking from behind") she'll probably co-operate from time to time, even if it's only on your birthday and hers.

22 Thrusting too hard

If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.

22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex

There aren't many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation" . See also number 26.

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".

24 Asking her how it was for her

This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you really want some feedback, phrase it thus: "Did you prefer it when I did X or Y?"

25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure

Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most men, this seems unlikely. But if it's a question of the smell or taste being a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you just want her to fellate you and you simply can't be bothered to reciprocate with cunnilingus, then reading these tips isn't going to help you much anyway.

26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly

Remember the motto: "Women come first!" As a man, you're probably going to lose interest in sex once you've ejaculated - at least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do you. (With the added bonus that it doesn't matter so much if you shoot quite quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn't want to be one of those, now would you?

27 Trying to force her head towards your cock

Let's face it: she's either willing to give your oral sex or she's not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If she doesn't seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her: "There's something you could do that'd give me so much pleasure.... ."

28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she's giving you oral

Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to be considerate about it. She's not likely to be a deep throat expert, and there's no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from her head unless it's to gently stroke her hair, and you won't feel the temptation to encourage her to go deeper.

29 Holding her head when she goes down on you

Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think that's acceptable sexual etiquette you've been watching too many of the wrong kind of films.

30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it's OK

The taste of semen is very much an acquired taste; unfortunately it's one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn't like it, ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you're going to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand. You'll get just as much pleasure, and she won't have to gag or spit your semen out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you're going to come is not permitted.

31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life

Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like that, OK?

32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her

Even if you find it arousing, she's not likely to, for the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive.

33 Apologizing for the size of your penis

Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.

34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like

Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn't really believe it, that's what she wants to hear.

35 Asking her if she'd mind if her girlfriend joined you

Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don't want their partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing before you try this one.

36 Making her do all the work

Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions, have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don't just settle for one favorite position and flog it to death.

37 Trying to slip it in the back door by "accident"

Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have tried than you'd believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn. It's something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it. She's not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you're poking her anus by accident. And she won't believe you if you tell her you just didn't want to ask for directions, even if that's how you are when you're driving around lost, looking for somewhere.

38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking

Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify, taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years' time.

39 Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex

Above almost everything else (except possibly being deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You'll be surprised just how exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a new perspective of your partner's body, or perhaps allows you to see entering your partner's body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size and shape of your penis and her vagina.

40 Not romancing her

Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

41 Slapping her buttocks without checking if she's into a little dominance play

No mater how exciting you may find the idea, don't land a heavy slap on her butt without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls.

42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)

Don't copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.

43 Playing with her anus before she's excited enough to appreciate it

When you're masturbating her clitoris, and you have a finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may well add to her excitement - especially if she's on the verge of orgasm. If you try this before she's really excited and has stopped caring what's happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.

44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come

An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won't let you do it a second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you're prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.

45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it

Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*** her hot wet c*** you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you're making love, and see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!

46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms

Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.

47 Ejaculating on her without asking permission

Coming between her breasts or on her vulva or bottom can be incredibly exciting, but it's nice to ask her first. She may see it less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.

48 Not controlling your ejaculation

Like we said before, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.

49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex

A man who gets up after he's done the business and sets about his daily routine is probably top of most women's sexual dislikes. For her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner. She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to know she's loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do is to spend a half hour or so cuddling her while you relax after making love, even if you're not going to spend the night with her.

50 Not cleaning up after sex

And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you aren't using condoms

The Sixteen [16] Commandments of Man.

2009-07-29T01:35:00.000-07:00

I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.

II. Make her jealous

Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

VI. Keep her guessing

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

IX. Connect with her emotions

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.

XI. Be irrationally self-confident

No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more coochie than rational defeatism.

XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an asshole, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate asshole beats being a polite beta, every time.

XIV. **** her good

Fuck her like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, fuck tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

"Dont fuck with them Red bitches. They'll have you suicidal."

2009-07-28T06:29:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion light skinned women can do NO wrong. At least by me. In my 22 years of living, I've dated [yes, I counted], 217 women. Some were day by day, some had a few months.. But MAJORITY of them were light skinned. Why? Because they can do no wrong. Like you can put a light skinned woman in a turban and gloves.. and even though you cant see her face... you KNOW she has to be half decent. Wild shit right? Its a fact. Name an ugly light skinned celebrity you've seen?

Like fuck..Look at Danger from that Ray J joint. Tattoo on her face... Smexy. Not sexy, but Smexy. I wouldnt hit it raw, I'd put a rubber on it, then a paper bag... but I'd still hit it. BUT...Imagine Fantasia with the same face tattoo. That shit dont sound as sexy, now do it? Precisely.

Now, I love me a brown skinned girl.. Dont get me wrong. I'd wife Gabrielle Union in a heartbeat.. But some shit about light skinned women turns me on:

How they turn red when you smack them on the ass.

The fact they can wear red lipstick [pet peeve] and get a pass.

Black toenail polish on light skinned joints looks somewhat normal. [wild as shit.. but its a fact. I aint met a dark skinned female with black nail polish I liked. Whoppi tried it.. she did, but nah nah. *Ugh... Flashbacks of when her and that white dude from Cheers kissed]

Even when they are not UGLY.. they make up for it somehow.

Now.. ALL women do this, dont get my wrong. I'm NOT Yung Berg's choreographer, or his admin assistant. I have a preference. I love all women though.. [got THAT shit out of the way to be political].. But moving right along...

I've heard Brown Skinned/darker joints call light skinned women "Red Bitches"...FUNNIEST shit ever.

You make my penis smile.

2009-07-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

I have an ego. Not one of them Beyonce joints either. A sexual joint. When I meet a woman now, the inner man asks first off three questions:

Can she support herself without a man?
Can she fuck?
Whats her flaw.

And it just so happens that the flaw could be...she's fucking everybody, to support herself. Now, I aint saying she's a golddigger, but she damn sure knows what she got is going to get her what she desires. Case in point. A pretty face will ask you "can you buy my a drink" at a bar, even though you just met her. Yeah, you're attractive, but that aint gfot shit to do with what you got going on.

Dont know what I meant by the last paragraph, so in order to not talk in circles, I'm going to attempt to write in moderation and stay on topic. Todays topic has to be sex. You know the best feeling in the world? Have on call sex. Like y'all don't necessarily have to be dating, y'all feeling each other, but the sex is that great that you get a text like "I miss the dick". Shit is wonderful. Now I remember when I used to talk to like 5, 6 females at a time, I would send out a text message every Friday, promptly at 5:15 like "What you doing tonight". I knew sending it round this time meant: All guestlist were close, so she wasnt going to be doing that; She'd cancel them plans she already had.

But I had to stop doing that. Mainly because females are the new niggas. Received a text message from a girl I aint seen since the Inaugeration. Text message simply read

Its been a while. I was bunned up, but its the summer. I'm single and fuckstrated. What's up.

Let me step back three steps and go back to when she was in a relationship.

Simply put....She had a man. She was in love like shit. SO me being a bastard, I was trying to get inside of her just for the sake of her being someones elses property. Vindictive yes, but when I was with my ex, she would blow up my phone with text and calls. Figured it was payback. Sue me.

Slim was one of those dickteasers. Like she was a flirt on the low low [especially Facebook..where I met her..*tisk*.] Basiclaly she'd put up nasty quotes and quizzes, make lil notions on your profile and shit.. But then an hour or so later, Facebook status with be "Can't wait to see my baby...etc etc"

And I got tired of getting her ready and geared up for that nigga. So I started throwing her shade. My thing is.. if it aint me you fucking, you wasting oxygen. She got mad, but fuck it, you got a man, fuck you in my face for?

Short story even shorter. Its almost August. And the following must commence by August 1st, 2010. [next year]

Fucking on the National Mall. Dont matter what time. I'll handle the indecent exposure charge.
Head in daytime in a mall parking lot. Shit just sounds good.
Fuck in a moonbounce. Shit sounds good.
And this:

Amy Smart Funny Crank 2 Sex Scene - Click here for funny video clips

Moist Satin Sheets: Double Your Pleasure.

2009-07-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

So I refresh the page, and I see her, gorgeous as she wanna be. Such a vibrant thing, let's call her Sasha. At replying me like "I'm on the way". Now I'm a flirt, so I hit her back like "yeah, okay, let you tell it". She "Lol"s, saying "boy if you only knew. She's hit me with DM's often regarding my picture and the things she wants to do with it, but my thing is.. all talk no action, can't trip off the small shit.

Our conversation gets RT'ed, from one of her friends saying "Y'all better not be doing anything without me". We'll call her friend Roni, because her profile picture is a photo of her sticking out her ass. Caught Boby Brown flashbacks, so as a result, we'll give Roni that justice. So Roni and I are talking, and I see that her and Sasha ain't spoke in a minute. I don't want to be guilty of flirting with two friends, but it's Twitter. What can I say, I'm good at what I do. I hit her Sasha with a DM like "If you're about what you be about, be [inserts address in the message]. She never replies, so I continue going along with Roni.

Ten minutes past, twenty message, I get a message from Sasha saying

@AlSharpTongue Slice this pie with that sharp thang.

So me, I'm stunned, never seen such an abrupt approach. I reply back publicly like #fakinglike @Sasha . Then *Knock Knock Knock*....

First I think I'm tripping, so I grab my basketball shorts of the chair, put the TV on mute, and exit the windows out of the computer. As I glide down the steps, I'm yelling "Who is it".I open the door to see Sasha, on the other side of the screen door standing there, naked. She staring at me, I'm staring at her, and she finally says "Well, you not going to let me in?". So I'm like "shit, c'mon. I open the screen door, she walks through the door, and before the screen door closes....She walks in.

Roni.

Roni is standing there, pretty brown skin, covered in a matching Red teddy. Surprising, the only thing on my witty mind is "did these two girls get naked together and drive all the way here?", but you know how I go with mine.. I'm sure you do. Moving right along...

I close the door behind them, and Roni just jumps at it. She rips off the wife beater I had on, and Sasha works on my pants. She gets them down to my knees, then I kick them of, leg after leg. Finally she grabs at my black boxers, rubbing her hands along the elastic strip reading "Polo Sport", and with a handful of it, rips them off with all of her might. Now I'm the type of man that likes control, but this is still stunning to see two women taking advantage of me. As I lay on the ground, Roni plants herself on my face in reverse cowgirl position, and i indulge in her. Tasting her juices, I go lick South to North, East to West, and then I stick the entire length of my tongue into her vagina. She creams on my tongue as I feel her trickle juices along the outer surfaces of my mouth and on the base of my mouth. She definitely wasn't lying about her tasting like mango.

As I am enjoying her essence, Sasha has managed to devour the circumference of my dick. Using her tongue ring, she works the edge of her tongue along the slit on the head, and blows kisses on its entirety. In my mind, even Trey Songz can't go and picture this through lyrics. I palm her head making sure she continues to apply pressure on the right spots, sucking in the same motions because I am enjoying it. She releases it out of her mouth and kisses down the shaft, rubbing it the entire time as she runs her tongue down the side, until she reaches the twins.

As she places them in her mouth, Roni arches over so her entire pussy is now exposed to my face. She too sucks on my, and pleasures my Black Knight as Sasha fondles and molests my twins. Feeling too good, my left leg twitching, and foot curling in my socks, I take a peek to see exactly what they are doing. Roni is rubbing on Sashas ass, palming it, smacking it, touching it while she continues to pleasure me. Now its my turn.

We both get up, and everybody needs to get my pleasure at the same time. So, I tell Roni to bend over as I put the condom on. Ultra Ribbed of course. I toss the package behind me, grab the tip, and Sasha says..

Oh no boo...We got this.

She takes the condom, places it on her lips, and pushes the end out with her tongue. She goes again for my dick, as she places the condom on. Spreading Roni's cheeks, she grabs my shaft, and inserts me into Roni's awaiting pussy lips. Warm as she wanna be, I tell you. So I tell Sasha to sit on the step and open her legs, so I can taste her. So as I stroke in multiple directions inside of Roni, I'm tasting Sasha, her pussy nicely shaved, thighs thick, and tight like brand new braids. She's rubbing on my physique as I kiss her, and tell them to switch positions, switching condoms, as I change the roles in the movies as if this was a kinky, freaky Tarantino.

As I'm going inside of Sasha, Roni is finally taking off the Teddy. It's obvious she's feeling the strokes she's seeing, because she's biting her lower lip as if she wants it again. Roni moves in front of Sasha as Sasha starts to indulge in Roni's pussy. Girls licking girls is always interesting. And for my first threesome, it's a sight that forces me to keep my composure so I can keep this 1st round going to a certain extent. I flip Sasha over as Roni now sits on her face, on the staircase as I'm digging inside of her friend, pussy gripping the dick head and re-adjusting the condom with every stroke.

Rocking in and out of her, Roni and Sasha cum in unison as I continue to stroke, it forces Sasha to cup Roni's pussy with her mouth as she grabs her thigh to try to take the dick without screaming. Roni feeling the pressure of it all, squirts, as it leaks onto Sasha's chest. All three of us amazed, I slow my strokes down, as I lick the juices made by her friend off of Sasha's belly, entire tongue out. As Roni sucks on Sasha's titties, you can tell they are ready to head to the bedroom...

Were the Satin Sheets haven't been moistened yet....

...Out of My System

2009-07-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

Its funny, as much as everybody don't like her, I can't shake her ass. Even went to the extremes of editing contact information, and avoiding all types of networking with her. Seen one of her folks out and about, ain't even speak. Not my place to.

Now in the "getting over phase", I met good women, evil bitches, and all in between. And just when shit gets relatively normal again...Slim pops back up. It'd be a different case if I was hitting her up and shit, but nah, aint been like that. Her and me ended on some SLIGHTLY bad terms. Basically I wasn't haven't the shit she put on the table, so I rolled out. Seen her again, and you could tell there was feelings there, but nobody wants to act on them. You'd think her being the elder of the two parties, she'd meet halfway. But its more so all or nothing, and shit must go her way. In my views and aspects, its 50-50. With the ex I was guilty of being a bastard and not acknowledging emotions, so I guess I'm a casualty of that Karma bitch...a year later.

So meantime I been reluctant to sign into Facebook as a result. Everybodys in love, summer blossoming and gossiping, and quite frankly, it messes with my conscious, and makes me think that I need love and companionship. I've been doing fine exactly where I'm at.

Dont know exactly what I want out of a female. Physically, emotionally, nothing. Seems like as I upgrade, shit stays the same version. Bitches with kids, women with issues, girls attempting to be women. Even spoke to a friend of mine, and she kicked some Beckham Thoughts to me: "Greg, the problem is you can't differentiate ladies from women". It's been three days, and that shit still burns in the membrane.
Bad terms: I never actually BURN bridges. If somebody has an issue with me, I let it ride and keep it 100. Somebody out there hates my guts, and has made it clear of this. Havoc, but where I'm at with mine is, the effort I could take retaliating, I could be doing more productive shit. This goes back to the whole "upgrades versus standby" situation as well. Sad to see females being so vindictive. But it is what it is.

Back to what I was saying, with this lady, girl, woman, chick..whatever... There is nothing there. But the petty every now and again acts she does kills me. For some reason I can't shake it even though I practice equanimity whenever she approaches. Her and my relationship is probably equivalent to that Martina and Gina thing. They hate each other, love either at the same time, and SOMEBODYS pride is going to outweigh the others. Hers more than mine. I find it intriguing a woman can conquer my thoughts, but lose the battle of emotional wits. Sometimes the quietest room makes the most noise. So when I tell her I care, and she has no words, her actions, well, go figure.

[As I'm typing this... that night I woke up in that other girl bed.. Well she just hit me up asking about my Google status and what it means. The status says "If women don't figure it out soon, I'm going to be an awful person". I'm not talking rocket science, am I? Didn't think so.]

So I tell her. "Basically, y'all don't like progress until you realize your feet are planted, and everyone else is in stride." That part made perfect sense to me, if you didn't get it, I apologize.

Short story shorter, I don't know and quite frankly don't care if she is reading but it will be said. It's been hell getting over you, so Im moving past you. You've been a roadblock since that day, and it's best if I don't even acknowledge you. I should've listened when you said "You weren't any good". But I didn't see it as a challenge, moreso saw a female in need of having a heart. But I guess even a Tin man can't be so abstruse. So I'm done. I love you, but the fuckery must cease.

And if you dont know, Now you know...Nigga.

2009-07-21T12:10:00.000-07:00

No bullshit though, thats how I've been lately. This year alone I've heard "How about we be friends" entirely too many times. Its kind of hard to go and be fucking someone and maintain a stable friendship. So I've basically just been reluctant to fuck. Have you also noticed that once you havent had sex for an extended period of time, all these HIV/AIDS/STD commercials pop out of the woodworks? i'm protected and conscious, so I'm content. Plus I test. But I digress.

To make a short story shorter, girl I used to get it in with frequent is getting married. Now its funny because she's content that she's in love with me, ecetera, ecetera, however, its going in one ear, directly out the other. I havent blogged much in the past three, four months because I've been trying to condense the shit I say into one blog a week, but I have entirely too many thoughts up here, so I'm about to spill them all. Back to the marriage situation. Basically 4, maybe 5 months ago, she meets dude. He says he's going to the milltary, they get engaged. When people tell me this story, I hear it so much I think three things.

Its lonely over there fighting an endless war. You want to feel like you have something else waiting marinating while you are over there.

Your fiance' will get that check monthly. To pay for school, cars, save up, whatever.

People really think that shit works out.

Now the one girl I talked to near the end of last year married her friend so she could get the check. So while I'm dating her and sleeping beside her, pretty much slim was married. So I asked her what she did with the check, she simply said that she payed off her books and car note. Must be nice. I'm about to search the US Army section of Facebook and get me a woman to wife up so I can get that summoned to me. But ol' girl who I'm talking about is scheduled to get married next year. I don't condone it, but I'm happy for her. I'll say this once so I can get it out of my brain. It was sex, and a little emotion there. She was around when I was with my ex but we never fucked. Her and I broke up.. and umm yeah, the sex commist. I had some great orgasmic moments as a result. I even contemplated continuing the sex while dude was overseas, seeing as he would never know, but I hate Karma, and I'm on this strive to be a better man, so I opted not to.

But umm yeah. So thats my situation with that. I've spoken/heard from Interim a lot lately. Don't know if thats necessarily a good, or a bad thing. Guess it is what it couldn't be before. But seems like one party wont let up. *slanted eye*.

Making a short story shorter, I'll try to blog more, but I be drawing blanks and shit. This what I have for now. I cant say all that I want to say because as @getyourhoneyon says on Twitter "You're so funny, it's hard to take you serious"

Touche'. Watch me work. Shit bout to get real, real soon.

Carpe diem, Goodbye soon as I greet em'

2009-07-18T13:57:00.000-07:00

I came to the conclusion of quite a few things.

I tend to keep entirely too many women around during the summer. This is the summer of saving. Females want to see all the summer blockbusters, Greg is trying to worry about Black Friday in November. I can't be doing on dates seeing the latest Will Smith flick. Just not in my budget.
Bougie bitches love us dudes who quite frankly don't give a fuck about them.

Now I've dated and talked to them all. But upscale is fucking hilarious. Granted it started off as a conquest. Cute Spanish girl, nice figure, typical "Lounge" chick you wouldnt find at the club. Then last night... Seen her at the club. Totally lost her value. Contact is now in my phone as "DMV joint". Basically she put on this front talking about "I'm used to the finer things. I date men that have their own businesses, cars, houses"....Wholetime shes at L0VE walking around trying to get every hood nigga in DC's attention. We lock eyes a good two times. I ain't even speak, wasted talent.

Moral of that story is.. Bitches will lie. Niggas lie too, it's just females have a better script. They just can't stick to it.

Fucking. It's always fun, but lately the shit is just been like "okay.". Now granted, the pussy is wonderful, the sex is great. But the casual sex be having NO value at some points.

Sex Scene from the Movie Good Luck Chuck - The most amazing home videos are here

Like the motivation to fuck is there, the nut will happen, but when I get up, I'm ready for round two. Sure, most dudes have quick first rounds, but the first round be too extensive that I came, and midway through me nutting, my dick is still hard and I'm trying to get it ready for the return. I need to be checked out.

I actually miss Interim a little bit. I know her ass does too, just I have too much pride, and she..well I don't know. That shit ended strangely. And funny thing is... Day 90 would've been yesterday.

I decided to leave the blog open for now mainly because I came to terms like if you dont like the shit I say [that could be about you] then yeah, lose yourself. Its funny when I hear "I don't want to be a part of your blog".. Well, dont' do anything bad to be a casualty. And lately theres been a few of them. One that I aint heard from. Upscale. And some of the Twitter ones. whew... the twitter ones. lol. All talk, never any action. With me its like "put up or shut up".. everybody else is all gimmicks to gain followers. If I talk nasty, 9 times out of 10, I'm about it. This is what I've gained from Twitter in the 8+ months I've been on there.

You will end up flirting with somebodys friend, or somebodys girl. I've received 9 DM's from dudes asking me if I was joking about the things I was talking about with their girls. I wasnt. I feel like this. If your single, by all means.. talk big shit. But it ain't fun knowing that your girl is out here flirting away in updates to "AlSharpTongue". Because I'm goin to go full fledged with it. Leash her.
It's cool to be a celebrity. The pussy and penis you get thrown at you is endless. Before I joined Twitter, I had the UTMOST respect for most of them. Since I reached 2,000 followers, most of the celebrities are just someone I want attention from, and probably sex down. Like Cassie. I don't necessarily LIKE her, but since she's twitter accessible, I'd fuck her. Same with the joints from Danity Kane. NEVER watched an episode of the show, but they fuckable.
Names get you far. If my name was "SimplyGreg"... I would'nt get as much attention. AlSharpTongue might quite possibly be up there in the top 25 twitter names. [gassing myself.]
I got offered a three some. Fucked up part. One girl lives on the East. One lives on the other side of the map. And I'm not a frequent flyer minus on Ski season. So in order to compromise, I'll host the Trio Venue. Call me lame for accepting sex from Twitter. But I'm sure you've gone on a date or fucked someone off the internet. If you havent, you're a liar and I hope your mother gets dunked on by Patrick Chewing.

Song pretty much is the mood of the moment. No particular reason, but the joint just grooves.

Oh. The clubbing will be minimum. And I've developed a taste for alcohol again. I said I'd stop, but then I found $1.00 drinks. So.. I will be drinking. "Some girls are nice, some girls are whores.". Just watch out for the big girls.

If you aint got no money, take your broke ass home.

2009-07-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

Just got home from an outting. Can't even call the shit a date. Shit was fucking wack. Started out cool. Conversation the WHOLE ride there was good. Like there was even a thought of a possible second date. But... you know theres always some type of fuckery going on.

So... She shows up. Granted the first "outting" we went on. So we driving, she mentions that her tank is on E. I aint tripping because I don't pay for nobody gas. Fuck that shit. You decided to swing past my house, you better be clear, you made the drive. I know right now she's like "oh, I got a free meal out of him".. but I got a ride to and from. And the money ain't an issue. You driving a brand new car on an empty tank IS bew bew. Fuck is wrong with your noodle.

So....we end up at TGI Fridays by George Washington. She gets out the car like "you ready for this date?".. Sweetheart.. I dont date.

I Fuck
I drink
I party
Ipod

But I don't date. And to make matters worse I started "talking" to a girl today, so I had to make it clear that it was an outting between two friends that needed to get out the house. She obliged.

Cool. Conversation cool. But the bill comes. She looking at me, I'm looking at her, she looking at me, I'm looking at her. So I'm like "okay, where the fuck your funds?" She has no wallet. So I'm looking at this bitch real Cyclops like. So I'm like "fuck it, I got the bill, you pay the tip." This bitch don't even have cash. So i'm like "okay, how about you go ahead and just pay the tip with your card?". She dont' have your bank card.

Feeling almost bad for this broke, strangely strange ass bitch, I say fuck it, swipe my card, add the tab, and continue drinking my drink. Now Usher is singing the song at the Michael Jackson memorial at this point, so I'm like "I'm going to watch, make her wait on me. I dont give a fuck if she drove. This broad going to wait. Fuck her."

I continue to drink my Moquito. Fuck I look like. I fitted the bill. She went and downed her drink and was like "I may need one more drink". I kindly said "check please". Now me being the SMART drinker.. I want that buzz when I LEAVE that bitch. So I aint going to finish my cup til I'm bout to walk out the door. So needless to say.. she sat for 15 minutes while I took quiet sips of my drink.
She's asking me dumb questions like "am I mad". So me, I'm like "Umm yeah, next time, how about you bring yourself some money when you come out. Grown ass broke bitch.

BACKTRACK> BACKTRACK. It gets better. Oh fuck yes it gets better.

So slim is a waitress. And a teacher. Cool. So we are driving down Georgia Ave, and she pulls over, pulls out a sheet of paper, and writes her info down. I'm looking like "Wtf"..? She walks into the strip club.. Penthouse, and gives the security guard her info so she can wait tables there. Now I should've seen this as a sign, but I can't knock a broke bitches hustle.

Needless to say, my night was salty as shit. I've called myself some sex. I ain't going to sleep without a nut. Good night.

GEAR GRINDERS JULY 4th RECAP. "Lil Wayne 4 Babies down, 4 Baby Mamas Out"

2009-07-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

1. First off, Tiny. T.I's baby mama. Now I've been a T.I. fan for years, but son, seriously, there is ultimately nothing gorgeous about her. Like slim has been unattractive since 94'. You'd think she would be hitting up mom and pop stores, stealing the petty change out of the "Take a Penny, Leave a Penny" to go and save up for a makeover. Fuck that too. Tip has money, ain't no excuse. Then her mouth aint not at all. Shorty look like someone took a serrated knife and carved her teeth. No bullshit. Her and Roger from "Doug" look strickingly similar.

2. Fat broads. I love y'all, but some shit can't even fly. I love big women, small women, little titty women, big titty women, but.... BUT...The attempts to NOT take care of your body is just outright disgusting. Aint no reason you out elbows got a gut. Arms collect lint like shit. That shit aint sexy girl... fuck is your malfunction. Correct that.

3. 3AM texts/calls from the WRONG person. You know how you wish that cute somebody would hit you up, then it come out to be that annoying motherfucker who ain't about shit? I got one of them this weekend. She cool as shit, but that shit aint cute, you calling me all drunk talking about "I'm coming through". Bitch no you aint. I don't share my bed. Either hotel, motel, or backseat. You ain't privledged. I like my sheets thank you very much.

4. People who sit beside you in an empty theatre. Shit fucking BLOWS my life. Granted, we go to see Ice Age last night. Cool whatever. Its a Sunday, at night, don't nobody go see a Dreamworks picture at night besides me. So there I sit, empty row. I sit in the middle, put my 3D glasses on,a nd BAM, people decide "Nah, we gon sit with THEM". What in the fuckity fucksville. How about you go head and use the other 18 rows in this theatre and sit your $5.00 ass down before I make change?

5. Co-Workers who ask a task of you in the AM without saying Good Morning. Look here bitch. I had a shitty weekend that turned good gradually. Don't fuck up my high by NOT saying Good Morning. You introverted son of a winch. Fuck is wrong with your noodle.

6. "Standing at the podium, trying to watch my sodium" <---Jeezy, what the fuck were you thinking when you said that? I swear them down south rappers say the darnest things. But that one right there takes the cake. 7. Lauren London. Everyone should know exactly why her and I are beefing right now. I've come to terms she wants her a Bad Boy. But you'd think she'd stick to rocking Sean John. She gets the official "Whomp Bitch Whomp" of the week. Dumb joint. 8. Lil Wayne. See Above. I still think he got Lauren high off Peanut oil and baby powder, then got her pregnant. SO WE ARE NOW ACCEPTING DONATIONS TO CREATE LIL' WAYNE A STEEL PLATED PERMANENT REVERSIBLE AND RE WASHABLE CONDOM.

9. The baby competition between T.I. and Wayne. These niggas DONT pull out. At all. But I can't hate on Lil' Wayne. Had it have been ME.. I'd fuck around and just keep pumpin quietly so i wont give the nut away

10. BIG GEAR GRINDER:

"Actress Lauren London, who is pregnant with rapper Lil Wayne's baby, was not thrilled when she found out she was expecting. Although they have said they will raise the child together, London is still unhappy with the way things have turned out.

London's rep said, on her behalf, "At first we weren't happy about the pregnancy but now we are fine. Wayne and I will happily raise this baby together."

Sounds like everything is OK, right? Maybe not. According to sources, Lauren is still not feeling this pregnancy but Weezy pressured her into having the baby. She apparently wanted to abort the pregnancy early on but Wayne wouldn't let her. He said he'd go public with the news and tell everyone she had had an abortion.

Lauren, fearing how it would affect her reputation and career, decided to go ahead with the pregnancy and keep the baby.

London's cousin said, "Lauren is letting everyone close know this is not what she planned. She's mainly worried what effects this will have on her career. She doesn't want to be stigmatized as just Lil Wayne's baby mama."

I'm gone on that note.

You know me, I just be Dancing and shit. Part I of IV.

2009-06-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

Welp, Saturday I'm locking things down.

If you want to be on the subscribed list, email Glamont00@gmail.com and I'll put you on.
July 4th, meaning you have til Friday night to contact me to be on the readers list. If I don't have your email, you won't be reading it. Jie like simple.

This will be a long one, but I may break it down into parts according to how much there is.

Moving right along, I havent written a DECENT blog in a while. Let me go ahead and tell you where I've been with mine.

I been ducking and dodging having sex. Don't even know why. You ever just had a mindset where you're like "I have better shit to do then chase." Prime example. I get a text from a girl that I was laying down with a couple months ago. Basically she ended the fucking because she ain't want nothing else besides fun every now and again. Now, thats not a problem...within reason.

I'm a scheduled man. Giving me pussy on one day, then have me wait weeks for it again, ain't my twist. I will go and fuck someone else. I don't cheat, but then again I aint got a woman. So I have no ties to you.

She hit me up at 10 something with scheduled plans for the end of the night. Now I know she's iffy anyway, so pretty much I paid it no mind. I was out with my boys drinking, so if I aint get none, I would've been sleep soon as I hit a pillow anyway.

So long story short, she hits me up at a quarter to one with the "pussy denial text'. Yes, even I get them.

"Don't come through tonight, I'm tired"

Nothing wrong with that. Seeing as though her and I see each other rarely, I was like "next". And I commist to texting "moist bedsheets". She's drinking to be drunk. That's cool, but drunk pussy and drunk dick aint ALWAYS great. I had three Grey Goose straight, and 5 Vodka and Pineapples. On an empty stomach. And the last time I fucked in those conditions, I fucked through Finding Nemo, a "Girls Gone Wild" infomercial, and an hour segment of Fresh Prince. With no nut to smile about.

Needless to say I wasnt fucking with it.

So i get a text from her Sunday saying "I want to have sex with you, but the shit you say has me scared."

At this point I'm in my thoughts like "apparently the other nigger she fucking with fucking up, so she's texting me". This happens from time to time. I play second hand dick well. I reply "You denied that".

I really don't need to say the rest because well you can get the jist of the rest. But she said what every female has said to me at least once. "You be talking to too many girls. I hate that shit".

Maybe its just me.. but:

You will never have the one up on me. If we start a game of 1-on-1, you will not have a three point handicap to begin with. I used to think it was just the women I fucked with, then I concluded, not ALL, but SOME women just like to feel like they are the only women in your life...Even if they are publically fucking with other niggas.

^ Yeah fucking right. I was born on a Sunday, it just wasnt necessarily yesterday.

Pussy is wonderful. Head is great also. But the measures you have to take in order to get it...Not at all. Fuck that shit.

Moving right along:

I gotta get away from some of my circle. Most people are all about convienence. That's all I'ma say about that.

Tostitos Salsa Con Queso Medium Cheese is fucking wonderful. I don't know exactly WHY yet, but if you've ever had an orgasm like I did when I started eating these things, you'd understand.

The BET awards was some unadulterated shit. Like not only were the performances wck as shit, but yeah. If you aint seen it yet I'm sure you were on Twitter or Facebook reading about it. You get a consensus about it. No need to go on a tangent about it.

BUT... T.I.'s girl though... Tiny.. Slim ain't nothing to smile at. Attall. He need to Xscape.

RIP To the King of Pop! Michael Jackson Discography

2009-06-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

Ben [1972]: http://ad25049d.linkbucks.com/

Got To Be There [1972]: http://47e51ae2.linkbucks.com/

Music & Me [1973]: http://282799df.linkbucks.com/

Forever Michael [1995]: http://eda322d9.linkbucks.com/

Off the Wall [Part One]: http://feae58d9.linkbucks.com/
Off The Wall [Part Two]: http://b88bf642.linkbucks.com/

Thriller [1982]: http://d29aac7a.linkbucks.com/

Bad Part One [1987]: http://fee7cc30.linkbucks.com/

Bad Part Two [1987]: http://50b018db.linkbucks.com/

Dangerous [Part One]: http://d1e041d8.linkbucks.com/

Dangerous [Part Two]: http://e5e03d2d.linkbucks.com/

Michael Jackson "History" Part One: http://cb79805c.linkbucks.com/

Michael Jackson "History" Part Two: http://ba3367ea.linkbucks.com/

Michael Jackson "History" Part Three: http://7f227cdd.linkbucks.com/

Blood On The Dance Floor Part One: http://d35259b7.linkbucks.com/

Blood On The Dance Floor Part Two: http://09f5f4aa.linkbucks.com/

Invincible: http://b8721c82.linkbucks.com/

Michael Jackson Thriller 25th Anniversary Edition Part One: http://5a6c0d06.linkbucks.com/

Michael Jackson Thriller 25th Anniversary Edition Part Two: http://48176e98.linkbucks.com/

Also, as a bonus, here are other songs he's done live, unreleased and whatnot. Enjoy.

CD 1

01 Ben (Live)
02 Shake Your Body (With The Jacksons- Live)
03 I'll Be There (With The Jacksons- Live)
04 Medley (With The Jacksons- Live)
05 I'll Be There (Alternative Closing)
06 You Can't Win (Disco Mix)
07 Upside Down (Live - Diana Ross & Michael Jackson)
08 Killing Me Softly (With The Jacksons)
09 On The Wall (Live)
10 Surprise Song (With The Jacksons)
11 Call On Me (Original Mix)
12 Cinderella Stay Awhile (Bonus Track from limited edition Forever Michael)
13 Girl Don't Take Your Love From Me (Bonus Track from limited edition Rockin' Robin)
14 I Like You The Way You Are - Don't Change Your Love On Me (Bonus Track from limited edition Rockin' Robin)
15 The Tracks Of My Tears (with Jackson 5 - Rehearsal Demo)
16 When We Grow Up (with Roberta Flack)
17 Can't Get Ready For Losing You (Jackson 5)

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CD 2

01 Carousel (Full Version)
02 Hot Street (Unreleased - Thriller Sessions)
03 The Girl Is Mine (Demo)
04 The Lady In My Life (Full Version)
05 Trouble (Unreleased - Thriller Sessions)
06 Nite Line (Unreleased - Thriller Sessions)
07 Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (Demo)
08 Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (Extended)
09 Beat It- Solo (Eddie Van Halen)
10 There Must Be More To Life Than This (Demo with Freddie Mercury on Piano)
11 There Must Be More To Life Than This (Complete Version with Freddie Mercury)
12 State Of Shock (with Freddie Mecury)
13 Baby Be Mine (Demo)
14 Billie Jean (Demo 2)
15 Billie Jean (Extended)
16 Billie Jean (Rare 1982- 12 Inch Instrumental)
17 Billie Jean (Acapella)

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CD 3

01 Got The Hots (Song From Thriller Sessions)
02 Eaten Alive (M.Jackson & Diana Ross) 12 inch mix
03 Love Never Felt So Good (Demo)
04 Bad (Pepsi Commercial)
05 Come Together (MoonWalker Version)
06 Groove Of Midnight (Demo)
07 Je Ne Veux Pas La Fin De Nous (M.Jackson & Siedah Garret)
08 Another Part Of Me (Extended Dance Mix)
09 Smooth Criminal (Acapella)
10 Smooth Criminal (Moonwalker Version)
11 Cheater (Radio Edit)
12 Dirty Diana (Live Bad Tour)
13 I Just Can't Stop Loving You (With Intro)
14 Off The Wall (Live Bad Tour)
15 The Way You Make Me Feel (Live At The Grammy's 1988)
16 Man In The Mirror (Live At The Grammy's 1988)

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CD 4

01 Rock With You (Live Bad Tour)
02 If You Don't Love Me (Unreleased Dangerous Sessions)
03 Serious Effect (Unreleased Dangerous Sessions)
04 Mind Is The Magic
05 Bumper Snippet (kid) (Instr. Dangerous Sessions)
06 What About Us (Earth Song demo)
07 Why You Wanna Trip On Me (Acapella)
08 Will You Be There (Demo)
09 I'll Be There (Pepsi Commercial)
10 Who Is It - Acapella 1992
11 Who Is It (Acapella on Oprah)
12 Man In The Mirror (Live Dangerous Tour)
13 Dirty Diana (feat. Slash - Live)
14 Elisabeth I Love You (Live 1996)
15 You Were There (Live At Sammy Davis Jr.'s 65th Anniversary)
16 For All Time (Demo)

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CD 5

01 Beat It (Live feat. Slash)
02 Dangerous (Acapella At Mexican Court)
03 Words From Michael From History
04 Ghosts (Demo 1)
05 Ghosts (Demo 2)
06 Scream-They Don't Care About Us-In the Closet (Live Munich '97)
07 Billie Jean (Live '98)
08 Escape (Unreleased)
09 Break Of Dawn (Demo)
10 Shout (B-Side)
11 Prayer For Peace (Instrumental)
12 You Rock My World (Remix) feat. Jay Z
13 We've Had Enough (extented version)
14 We Be Ballin (Master Mix) - Ice Cube, Shaquille O'Neal & Michael Jackson
15 Fall Again (Michael Jackson & Glenn Lewis)
16 Crush (Michael Jackson & Lenny Kravitz)
17 What More Can I Give
18 Todo Para Ti (What More Can I Give - Spanish version)

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CD 6

E.T. STORYBOOK (Narrated by Michael Jackson)

01. Someone In The Dark (Opening Version)
02. Landing
03. Alone
04. Discovery
05. School
06. Home
07. Intrusion
08. E.T. Phone Home
09. Chase
10. Saying Goodbye
11. Someone In The Dark (Closing Version)

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CD 7

LIVE FROM YOKOHAMA '87

01 Wanna be Startin Something
02 Human Nature
03 Heartbreak Hotel
04 Off The Wall
05 I Want you Back
06 Rock with You
07 Lovely One
08 Workin Day and Night
09 Beat It
10 Billie Jean
11 Shake your Body
12 Thriller
13 I Just Can't Stop Loving You
14 Bad

http://091ad933.linkbucks.com/

Thanks to Newmusicblog for the links.

I know that we just met, I don't wanna leave you yet.

2009-06-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

Been contemplating a lot of things. Secretly I've been making moves on my own, mainly to move out to L.A. Always said I would stay local forever, but I'm having this whole "safer than sorry" thing going, and since it seems like that statement: 'Its not where you're going but where you're at" is true. And in DC, I aint feeling it no more.

Could speak on the females for days, but quite frankly, ain't enough time for that. And this not where i'm going about mine.

My sister is getting older. Yesterday I seen her and she's just so grown. Had to have a conversation with my conscience like "I have to treat women better before Karma takes it out in the direction of her". I can't have that. I already am overprotective when it comes to terms of her and guys. I will be driving her to prom. If not, I'll be at the door at 12:13 waiting for her. I don't play that shit.

Moving right along. I'm on twitter today, and came to the terms, theres a lot of beautiful small ass icons out there. Granted, I dont know every female on there individually. But compared to the mass numbers of folks I know on Facebook, Twitter jie like shitting on them. Only thing I CAN vouch for is some girls having a pretty face that makes them look slinder, then when you see them in a FULL body photo, they look real.. ordinary. Thats not a problem.

Came to the conclusion I'm going to go to Atlanta for at least a week. My boy said he wants to make that move, so what I did was started mingling with the females on twitter. They know where the alcohol and the parties are. I reached 1,750 followers too. I would self sice, but I follow at least 1,900+. Mainly because if you dont.. Twitter is boring as shit without it. Think of high school superlatives with statuses...

Anyway I have work to do. Later.

If You Are Subscribed, or Want to continue to Follow this blog.

2009-06-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

If you want to be on the subscribed list, email Glamont00@gmail.com and I'll put you on.

July 4th, meaning you have 11 days to contact me to be on the readers list. If I don't have your email, you won't be reading it.

"So, tell me something about yourself."

2009-06-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

"So, tell me something about you".

Men and woman can agree they hate those words. Trying to get a new person means:

You have to reitterate the same statements over and over.

Fish for ideas that make you sound unique.

Try to be unbiased.

So I stayed up until 2AM trying to describe myself. I turned my phone off, ignored test messages, Twitter and Facebook. As a result, I'm going to continue to avoid them for a minute. No particular reason. Moving right along... the diplomatic description of me.

Im five foot eight, one hundred fifty pounds. I didn't pick my gene pool. An Aquarius, twenty two years old. My large black eyes are set against luminescent whites. Ebony face clean and body hair similarly maintained. I know my way around a dance floor but more comfortable on the outskirts or at the bar. For a wallet I prefer a cardholder; four cards and a folded-up twenty for emergencies. I don't cash carry.

Lately at the bar ill order a Grey Goose and tonic. Occasionally a Midori sour. I watch CNN and SPORTSCENTER every morning. Read USA Today three times a week, and the local paper every Sunday. At work I picked the most expensive health plan. I rather pay a little more for the best.

When I go out, it tends to be where I can milk my hookups. I've always been frugal, so ill continue to shop for deals and coupons. Sue me. Almost every weekend ill go and eat brunch, usually at Ulah Bistro. I eat out almost every night. Lately I've started appreciating wines in the middle of the palate...Chardonnay and pilot noirs.

Cardinals fan. I have no respect for the Bengals. Or the Eagles. I sprained my ankles three years ago bad playing ball. I like being well liked and am eager to please. Having a lot of friends and associates, wherever I seem to go, I run into one or more of them. Loyalty is the story of my life. Wouldn't die for the associates, but I digress.

My dream house has five bedrooms and four full baths. Brick Victorian. We can discuss square footage later.

I scoff at people who buy exact outfit off the mannequins. I'm always looking for ways to maximize my wardrobe, ways to recombine or recycle. On occasion some newer fashion ideas, with marriages of styles that I wouldn't normally consider. At work I wear Prada d'Homme. Outside of that either bottle Bianca picked out. Thanks you.

Marriage is down the line. I am however, a little tired of talking to multiple women at one time. I love women, and like to think its residual. (saying this matter-of-factly). I'm not God, I'm nowhere near perfection. I've done some dumb shit and I've hurt many that I've cared about, but for the most part I'm a good person, and I think people can sense it. I know how to make a woman feel safe, appreciated, and sexy. A woman who feels this way will do anything with you sexually because she is comfortable. Sometimes the women I've dated find themselves comfortable doing things they haven't done before or enjoying things that they hated doing with the previous dude.

Mom told me its never too late to do the right thing, so I am attempting to redeem myself. I'm determined to make the best out of every situation. When I go out with my folks, I'm going to have a good time. My philosophy has always been "money can buy you fashion, but it
can't buy you style.". As a result I ignore the ignorance in nightclubs.

I just like looking for myself. It helps when women notice too.

Still thing all I can talk about is sex?.. Bet you $ you aint even read all of this. It's cool though. It's off my chest now.

Wont You Wine For Me

2009-06-16T09:33:00.001-07:00

The problem with champagne is that we celebrate it, but we wont drink it.

Now, I used to be an alcoholic. I'm lying, but my kidnies could've told you different. So I stopped. So I quit alcohol. I'll have a cup every now and again, but thats about it. Lately I've been on a champagne binge.

We've all been taught that champagne is for celebrations. It is. But a good French champagne is a complex beverage, and when you see dudes in nightclubs using it like it shows self pity for their own pride, its actually quite disgusting. Hence why I don't drink Rose'. The company notices the sales, and start massely producing garbage. Like to this day, Grey Goose [vodka], doesnt taste the same it did 6,7 years ago when I first tasted it. Same with Ciroc. But back to champagne.

I know some women that go and drink wine by their bedsides. And 9 times out of 10 it puts them in the "mood". No, this isn't a reason for dudes to keep two bottles on chill by theres, but it is sort of a good thing to have a couple bottles. So, I decided to step out and buy myself a couple bottles just to go ahead. I even asked a co-worker how he felt about them since he has a wine cellar, and he put me onto some bottles that are so great, that you HAVE to buy by bulk. You can't get them at stores.
------- Just wanted to share that about my wine.

Bad Vagina Blues

2009-06-10T07:15:00.000-07:00

Just like some women have them, we men too have them. I havent written about sex for a while in a blog, thanks to some particular women feeling like this is all I talk about. I'm just afraid that I might scare most with the shit that REALLY goes through my mind. [I.E. the Rules of Engagement Mike Gorick has about referal fees, and how European democracies are doing more for human rights than the US. But like I said before.. y'all arent ready for substance. So... this is what I give you.]

Few things I spoke to with a female, and one of my boys. We sat on the phone, and compiled a list of things we all hated. She had some things, we had some things. Majority of hers stemmed from "little dicks, big dicks that didnt know their use, musty balls, pubic hairs too long", you know... shit of that nature. So I came to the realization... shit, we might as well have a "Bad Vagina Blues" segment. Few comments I got:

Dude: "I hate whenme and a girl are in missionary, and her pubic hairs are brushing up against me. A little hair is cool, but if that shit has a pull to it, its GOT to go."

Had me stunned, because I'm like.. "okay, I know I'm a guy, and I dont think any self respecting dude should go and go BARE. Meaning they should shave all their pubes. Some females prefer it naked, but that shit itches. Tried it once trying to impress a girl, NOT a good look. Especially since I play ball too... Imagine a game of full court basketball without hair. Not a LOT of it, but a shade. [if that makes sense]. With that said.. Dudes.. the going bald down there.. Let the females go get the brazilians. I was contemplating getting one with the old flame a few months back when she went to get hers, just off moral support. But nah.

Why do they have feminine spray for the pussy, but they don't have deodorant for the nuts?

Yes I asked it. Granted, no mans nuts should smell THAT bad, but from what one girl tells me on Twitter, a dudes nuts have a salty taste. Yeah, even I jolted back at the statement. But she wasnt finished. "A dudes nuts are salty, but if he's my man I'll go down there. Only problem is he needs to shave"

There is NO possible way to SAFELY trim, shave, or wax a sack of nuts. Period. The shit is not safe. Nicks and cuts are fierce. I've shed a tear before [same day I tried that shaving shit] trying to impress a female. Never again.

But... BACK to this Bad Vagina Blues because I got a little bit off topic.

One casualty of Bad Vagina Blues I can remember was Ms. Feminist. I'll call her that because she had this whole "Like me for who I am" type shit going on. So I did. We never got to truly "hang out" because majority of the time I partied once place, she partied another. So it just so happened either one of us would get a call from the other about quality time. The first time was cool. I went over, slept. The next time, she called me drunk, so I capitalized on the opportunity. Bad, but she got naked first. So after that, it because an instance of "we shouldve never happened because I care about you, [insert tangent here], and we should take our time.

Sweetheart, we fucked, we nutted, we smiled. Move on.

It wasnt a case of "blame it on the alcohol", however what you do while intoxicated is beyond my control. *Riley Voice from Boondocks* "I seen pussy I came. You seen pussy you ran". [ Not exactly the same words.. but hey.]

BVB #2- Women who must have sex to slow music ALL the time. Like the sex has to have a "Red Shoe Diaries" effect to it. I dont mind it. But if you aren't my girl, yet we do this from time to time because you know what you mean to me and vice versa...yeah. No Usher Raymond melodies. Its funny, I used to talk to this girl HEAVY, meaning like whereever I went, she did. Wholetime, it was like "oh we just friends", yet we fucked one night for so long we got in the house eating Mcdonalds Late Night Menu, and by time we finished, we stopped to get Steak Bagels.

Needless to say, she hit me with the "I want to do something different". So she goes and starts lighting candles, dimming lights, and putting Sade on shuffle on her ipod stereo. I'm looking around like "C'mon now.. this aint right". I got so used to ripping off her underwear, that the intimacy spectrum was void. So the sex felt different. Especially when people make slow jam playlists that are wack. I can keep a steady stroke through Gerald Levert and R. Kelly, but don't go making PLIES the next song. It will NOT go well.

These are just two of my Bad Vagina Blues. Bare with me.

Straight Fuckin [1 Night Stands & Single Folks Sex Music]

2009-06-09T08:29:00.000-07:00

Now I made a playlist of SLOW JAMS for y'all. Those were strictly for those who are in love and want to please their partner, doing all the candlelight stuff. HOWEVER.. there are some of us who are single, but may or may not have a partner from time to time,t hat you are just knocking off with some good dick/pussy for the night. You CANNOT play songs like "K'Ci & JoJo's All My Life" with them. You must have some type of "intimacy without the passion" going with it. With that said... HERES the playlist. Enjoy. [Sorry, there is no Chris Brown on this playlist.] UPDATE: Neither is H-Town's "Knocking The Boots". That song will RUIN the mood. I have a replacement though.

Trey Songz- Sex Fo Yo' Stereo

The Dream- Put It Down

Boyz II Men- Ooh Ahh

Play N Skillz- Freaks

Janet Jackson- I Get So Lonely [Remix]

Changing Faces- Stroke You Up

Maxi Priest- Close To You

Ginuwine- Stingy

D' Angelo- Brown Sugar

Silk- Lose Control

J. Holiday- Bed

Jamie Foxx- Weekend Lover

Total- Kissing You

Twista- Get It Wet

Pretty Willie- Sex In The Daytime

Dream- Falsetto

Xscape- Who Can I Run To

Ne-yo- Say It

Jon B. They Don't Know

Trey Songz- In The Middle

Mario- Directions

Joe- Lets Stay Home Tonight

R. Kelly- Tempo Slow

Kelis- Goodbyes

Lauryn Hill- Nothing Even Matters

H- Town: They Like it Slow

Usher- That's What it's made for

Remy Shand- Take A Message

Beyonce- What is it Gonna Be

Anthony Hamilton- Pass Me Over

Chante Moore- Love's Taken Over

Fantasia- I nominate u

Jagged Edge- Remedy

Houston- Aint Nothing Wrong

Slow Jam Playlist Part One.

2009-06-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Just a Playlist I've put together of a few of my Favorite Slow Jams for them intimate nights. [For those of y'all that have somebody]. This SHOULDNT be used on a one night stand. It will NOT have the same effect. Trust me. NO particular order. Even if you shuffle it.. It'll be good.

Maxwell- A Womans Work
112- Sweet Love
Usher- Can You Help Me
BLuelight- Sex is On My Mind
Boyz II Men- Ill Make Love To You
R. Kelly- Imagine That
Prince- Adore
Sada- Cherish
Tyrese- On Top of Me
Keith Sweat- Im Not Ready
Alicia Keys- Butterflies
Scarface- Fuck Faces
504 Boyz- I Can Tell
LSG- My Body
Jodeci- Freek'n You
Jeremih- Birthday Sex
Ne-yo- Say it
R. Kelly- Greatest Sex
Maxwell- Til The Cops Come Knocking
Dream- Sweat it Out
Destiny's Child- T Shirt
Toni Braxton- Spanish Guitar
Luther Vandross- If This World Were Mine
BabyFace- This is For The Cool
Tony Toni Tone- It Never Rains [In Southern California]
Carl Thomas- Thought You Should Know
D'Angelo- Higher
Erykah Badu- Rimshot
Jill Scott- Crown Royal
TLC- Red Light Special
Amel Larrieux- For Real
T-Pain- Blow Ya Mind
Ludacris Feat. Rapheal Saadiq- Splash Waterfalls [Acoustic]
Maxwell- Submerge
Silk- Silktime
Dru Hill- Beauty
Kem- I Can't Stop Loving You

The Roots- You Got Me

Musiq- Love

SWV- Rain

R. Kelly- Baby, Baby, Baby

Zapp & Roger- I wanna Be Your Man
Hi-Five: I like The Way [The Kissing Game]
Kevon Edmonds- 24/7

Robin THicke- U Center Me

Lionel Richie- Hello [Old heads]

Playa- Cheers To You

Art Of Noise- Moments in Love
Jamie Foxx- Weekend Lover

Jamie Foxx- Can I Take You Home

Jamie Foxx- Do What it Do

Bobby Brown- Rock Wit'cha

Immature- Please Don't Go

Bobby Valentino- Boyshorts

Lloyd- Streetlove

Jahiem- Straight Fucking

Usher- Nice & Slow [The LIVE one]

Mary J. Blige- Slow Down

Xscape- My Little Secret

I Dont Care If They Gave it in NAVIGATION, DONT GO THERE

2009-06-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, retrograde is over, so hopefully life is treating you good, because its treating me swell. How you been? How your mama treating you? Thats good, wonderful... Making a short story shorter.. Onto the blog.

In the Past 30 days, I lost a female I had strong feelings for, gained a stalker, woke up in a bed that wasn't mine, went to PARK [I know, I know], Laughed at Lebron, broke a computer, an ipod, AND a cell phone, and planned a trip. Sounds amusing right? Great, because I'm not going to talk about NONE of that. I have motivation for other things.

Dear women who wear animal print anything. especially cougar like elderly women. STOP, I repeat STOP wearing leopard print leggings if you have some extra pounds on you. Sweetheart, KANGAROOS have pouches. Cheetahs don't. With that said the National Zoo is open SIX days a week. I suggest you get familiar.

Cruisinggggg along. You ever had sex so good that you woke up the next day trying to find the condom? Well I haven't. But I thought about it, and I'd like to have that. Sex so great that fuck... you might just go head and leave the condom on AFTER fucking. Just lay in your essence, wake up the next day and all the spermicide dry. [Paints a vivid picture don't it? Kodak Greggie. Oww.]

If I text you about what your doing tonight...Be clear, you aren't the only person I've texted saying this. It wasn't a MASS text.. I may have reworded it somehow.. But don't think I'm DEPENDENT on you getting back to me. Give a guppy a worm, and it'll bite. This is my world, you are in it. However, I'll launch your ass out into the galaxy in an instant. Be clear.

Pussy is just that.. pussy. I talk about it, great..wonderful. Fellas, stop priding it. Had a dude call me and say "man, I love her so much." Dude.. shes another mans girl. Which means shes ENTITLED to give you great pussy. But don't try your hand at handcuffing. It wont work.

SO.....I'm walking down the street the other day, and it dawned on me... I never look up. SO I started walking with my head looking forward... and might I say.. the World is an ugly fucking place. Have you ever just stepped back and LOOKED at shit..? ESPECIALLY in DC? I love my town.. I truly do.. BUT this place has some ugly sights. Its intriguing that HALF of the tourist that come here get shown the monument, the memorials, and even the CAPITOL.. but little do they know.. the hood is RIGHT behind it, two blocks over. Slumdogs forreal.

Anyway... a couple things that grind my gears:

Fat women who insist on being skinny but refuse to use weight: Listen here lover, 2pac was a rapper. 2 stomachs wont help you go platinum. You dig?

Skinny women wearing even skinnier clothes: Boo, I love you, I really do. You skinny women are so appealing. But I went to an all white [well beige since MOST people cant find all white clothing], and I swear I seen a group of 10 women that looked like they wrapped their whole body in band aids, put on some heels and said "fuck it".

Dudes who brag about their dick: Now granted, I'm every bit of 5'8' and a smile, so I KNOW when I see a female out and about, if I approach her, she gives me the look like "Oh, he cant handle me". With that said.. I don't even go and say "girl, I'll break your back". That ain't my focus. It just kills me when dudes say one thing about they shit, then a female goes back and contracts it. I stand TRUE to my "Moist Satin Sheets" story though. Pictures don't lie.

Moving right along. I've been motivated to become a better man thanks to retrograde, so I've made some slight changes, a few mishaps, and have come to the decision on where I want to be in life. I was striving to be a OB/GYN, but I'm afraid that looking at pussy all day will stunt my sexual growth. So.. I'll stick with this law life for a while.

SIDENOTE: It was me that wrote in your honesty box. You know who you are. Now.. you have no reason to guess.

Oh.. Umm yeah.. Mcdonalds.. you and I arent friends. Let me explain without being graphic. I took the meanest shit ever thanks to a Honey Mustard Snack Wrap. So as a result, no more of that shit for me. FIVE GUYS too. You summsofbeeches food is so greasy, you can grease Cassies naked scalp with that shit. No fuego.

Fellas... This is OUR corner. Have a few tips and pointers for you.

Its the summer. LIE to women. They seem to like being lied to. If they tell you they dont, its because they are mad they aint get to lie to you first.

LETS break down the term SUMMERTIME.

S- Sex. A lot of it.

U- Ultrabar [obviously where I'll be on many a nights. Even on international nights. I'm getting diverse out chere. Oww.]

M- Mothers. If shes single with kids.. first question you should ask is "Do you have a reliable babysitter. Fuck all that "I gotta make some calls."

M- See above.

E- Ectasy Pills: Dude asked me if I wanted to buy a couple of them at 24 a couple weeks back. Verbatim : "Bitchs do E out here son, gets em loose"...Well allllllright.

R- Relationships: People come home from school, and [new news to me], get back with their "at home boo". My boy hit me with this. "Yeah, youngin home from school, I'll bun her up til August." <---VITAL.

T- Tolerance- This heat and rain on and off shit... = LOW tolerance for it.

I- Independent Male Bashing Songs- Epiphany... Love Chrisette, but she has some of you women saying words you couldn't pronounce a month ago. Don't DARE say "I've had an Epiphany", then try to say "conversate". Dumb bitch, "I'll shoot you in your chest I'll WET CHA" *Steve Harvey Voice*

ME: If it aint bout that... fuck you. I think that should be printed on an Iron-on T-Shirt.

Fin. BITCH.

Girl I don't care about how good you look. Impress me, show me a pay stub

2009-05-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

I can't express or show more compassion about my utter disgust in some of the beautiful women in my city.

I vowed not to blog for a while, but this here deserves to have a word or two. Follow me slow, because theres a LOT of rants, raves, and jumped topics.

Q: "Why you look uninterested when you be looking at females?"

A: The fuck I need to goose over them? I have that in my cup.

Males, I'm talking to you because we fall victim more. Watch these females moves at the club. Went to K Street last night, and a girl walked up on me like "Oh, you're Greg, the funny guy that be buying us drinks".... Shawty.. know this. ONLY women I've ever buyed drinks for are women I've known from OUTside of the club, or I've fucked PRIOR. You broke club bitches can't just take a rum and coke and run. Oh nah, you want the Goose, the Patron, the Henny. Bout to start callin y'all the "Gimme Henny Loosey Gooseys".

I take pride in knowing some of the city's most beautiful women. HOWEVER, some of these women...not to bash you, but you bitches need jobs. I've been unemployed before. Cool, wonderful. HOWEVER, theres temp agencies, Dollar Generals, even McDonalds hiring. For the LIFE of me explain how you manage to make it to the club FOUR out of seven nights, be drunk 3 out of those 4, yet living off a non-existent salary? Them unemployment checks only last 8 months. You better save and find your ass a car so you can get out to Vienna for a job fair with your broke ass.

Had a female practically EYE fuck me. I'm talking bout them "yeah..you, I'm looking, you should approach me cause I have the pussy, and you wanna hit it" looks. Won't front.. I would've fucked her, but I'm on the path of being a better man, so I've been taming my dick. So I approach her while we sitting on the couches. Conversation goes like so.

Her: So did you come alone? You not even drinking tonight?
Him: I'm quitting on Saturday. So I'll be drunk Friday. You should come out.
Her: I can do that. I should get my check Friday.
Him: Tru that. So where you work in the city?
Her: I'm currently in between jobs right now.
[at this point. I got the side eye. Peep the price tags...]

Prada Bag: EVERY bit of $3-5,000
Tiffany Bracelet and necklace $400 EASILY
Pegasus Stilettos [yeah, I'm HIP to you females fashions. Figure if I gotta fuck you, might as well know what you rock, right?]- $600
Dress: $2-300

So MAYBE she bought this outfit when she was working. This is what I thought myself. Then I thought bout it. It was $10.00 for females to get in here. Also, I've seen her BUY at least three drinks. Being a previous drinker.. I knew she had a lemonball, a Blue Motorcycle, Patron Margarita, and a Ciroc on the Rocks.

Needless to say.. That conversation aint last longer than a LITTLE bit.

So as I do from time to time, YES, I'll talk to females at the club. But before me and you even get down to exchanging contacts... I'm GOING to ask your ask FIVE.. yes...FIVE questions.

Is this phone pre-paid? Fuck all that shit you talkin bout your ex boyfriend turned the phone you DID have on. I've had a prepaid phone before, and ONE thing I know ain't cool is a female with no minutes. I refuse to develop carpetunel for your broke ass.

Job History: I aint concerned about how you like reggae. Lets talk about how many words you can type. Just in case your ass is out of a job.. I can recommend you to a few collegues of mine. What BAD can come out of that conversation?

Location: You'd be surprised how many woman live out in like NOVA, Richmond and beyond... yet are in the city NIGHTLY to party. Times is too hard trying to party like a rockstar with only $3.90 worth of gas.

Budget: Say I DO like you... I plan on going out. Sometime I'll pay, sometimes, your going to. Thats how I'm rocking. Ain't looking for a wife NO time soon, so don't promote that you don't want a man, but insist on going on dates. Your ass WILL have lint in your pockets fucking with me.

Aspirations: Soon as you tell me you're moving to Atlanta because you tired of DC.. I know you lying. Period. Just be straight up and say you want to party until you're 30. Cause aint NOTHING in Georgia for you. Not a job, not a career. And King stopped production of magazines.. you AINT going to get acknowledged.

With these rules, females.. realize niggas like me AINT playing in 2009 and beyond. Buzz Lightyear syndrome like shit. Waste my time, ass have a Chinese name...

Won Gon.

When Keeping it REAL goes WRONG: Underage Fems & Alcohol= Doom

2009-05-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

First off, I ain't even gon pumpfake like shawty was'nt jie bad. So if she reads this... yeah...you was jie bad for an under 21 jaint, but the liquor had you fucked up. Maybe you'd been better without the shit, but that jie turned me off. I'll run it down.

Went to Ultrabar last night. Jaint was packed. Like..packed. You KNOW the DJ rockin when white women crowd up around partying.

Teddy, you are gorgeous. I love me a light skinned woman, and you got it. Swear if you were a manequin, I'd undress you, put you in a window, and walk past you just to eye fuck you.

Paris & Alicia.. GOTS to be more careful. EASILY the nicest two women I've ever met. Alicia, aww yous so PURRRRDY!

Marcus.. drink nigga, you loafed. Got you on the next round.

[Speaking of white women..i booked one. So if your number ends *449...yeah, that was me. I'll have the Facebook photos up once my boy gets them off his camera] Oww.

Moving right along. EVERYBODY knows how I party. I will walk up on a fat woman, grab her, and get to work on her. But last night was jie different. [Paris, tell em]. I walked up on yet ANOTHER white joint, grabbed her waist.. and got to grinding. Then her friend wanted to join in. AYE.

White women, I love y'all ever so much for being so freaky and random. Big or small y'all could get it. Maybe.. let me think bout that.

But moving right along.. there was a BAD joint that I was dancing with. Don't know the name, dont know her age, but she had an X on her hand. And as my mans told me "easiest bait is the ones with the X's...". Cool. Went smack. Started dancing. Thats until she had one too many drinks.. [Pause for hell freezing over]

So.. Jaren tell me turn around, and SURELY enough, same girl is HOLSTERED in the air, getting freaked like a reggae groupie. So me, being the infamous person that I AM, I commist to pulling out the phone to snap one. But the fucking phone kept freezing [bitch]. So I'm slapping my phone trying to make it work, but blackberries have they own brains and shit, so I put the joint in my hand and kept rockin to the beat. HOWEVER... there was a white nigga going and pulling girls dresses up and snapping shots. He so happened to be standing next to me when he pulled up her jaints to expose her black booty shorts. She gets mad and goes HAM on me. Like real HAM. Grabs my phone, walks to the trash can and toss the joint in there.

Whooooooooooooosah.

You know you done fucked up right? So granted I was told to swing on her, but thats a woman, and I respect y'all. But THAT shit... nah. No passes. There was TWO feds standing right across the room... so I had three decisions.

Chris Breezy

Let it slide

It was one of them "Nigger Moments" from Boondocks. Like when Old Man Stinkminer stepped on dude shoes. I wouldve been WRONG to hit a female. I've done it before, but karmas a bitch, and I don't need Karma fucking up me getting pussy this summer. So I let shit ride. HOWEVER, Ashley did'nt. She wanted to go SMACK at shawty for bumping her. I couldnt let Ashley have that either. So I pretty much just saved myself and Ashley a court charge.

Otherwise, I walk up on her trying to get an aswer to the bitchassness. She points to the white dude and was like "wasn't it him taking the photos?".. At this point.. ME, Adrian, Darren, and E are looking at MY skin to see if I have Villiligo. Which I dont. So she mustve been fucked up. I will give her a pass.

So... Dear Under 21... Please, the next time you are drunk, know these things.

I am GOING to attempt to fuck you. Not because I need the pussy, but I figure beating your pussy up isn't a domestic abuse charge. I'll take that option, yes.

I will NOT dance with you all the way to the floor. Woke up to look at my Black shirt, not ONLY was the shirt NEW BALANCE GREY, but the joint smelt like elementary school erasers, and misfit hoodrat fumes. Basically saying WHOMEVER I danced with that night pussy smelt like a raccoon took a nap in her pubes, hibernated, had newborns, and left the nest. Dig? Dug.

When keeping it real goes wrong, this is all I have.

I'm going back home on lunch break to handle that *ahem* sexual matter I woke up with. Fuck a Chipotle. Have a good weekend.

Gear Grinders 5/13

2009-05-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

I tried to build on shit I've seen, heard, and whatnot. I've let y'all down blogwise quite frankly aint been shit to talk about. But I do have shit that's pissed me off. Or.. Grind my gears. Here goes.

People who had to google Drake, trying to listen to all his mixtapes this week so when they show up to love Saturday in attempts to sing over dude.

Ethiopian chicks that age quick. I love y'all. I really do, but you are 24 looking 47. Shit aint cute.

Niggas who wear big ass cloudy chains and earrings to the club. Period for that matter. I'm going to need you to stop goign to the back of the XXL magazine to find your fashions. Cut it out boy boy.

My blackberry when it freezes when I answer a call and the joint takes another 15 seconds. Shit aint cool.

Females who have the concept of thinking like a man and that they want to be single forever. If you make that choice for yourself..you're destined for doom. Ugh. Wood jie blow me.

The Post Office raising the price of stamps to $.0.44 got me fucked up. I WILL be sending out emails from this point on.

Bank of America's "Keep The Change" program. YOU took out money from MY account. Now I'm in negative. I ain't paying thr $35.

Women with black sheep pussy hairs. You need to shave that shit. Aint no reason you take off your panties and your pubic hairs tuggin at the underwear. Dare to Nair.

Females who stash their weed in their purse at the club then walk around the whole night smelling like skunk. You need a better ziploc bag. I aint dancing with you then walk around smelling like I aint showered in three days. I smell pretty fucking swell thank you, bitch.

Fat women looking at the wrong bathing suits. LOOK... Hollister will NOT have your size. You need to just go to the beach wrapped in the towel the entire time. Seriously.

Niggas who befriend you on Facebook as a result of seeing you talking to their chick. Cool, cool. Whatever. But dont message me asking how I know her. Adios, gotta go.

Irish Bars [on occasion]: Some of y'all bartenders jie rude as fuck. I continue to go because I love the enviornment, but don't think cause I'm black I wont walk in there and just drink your Grey Goose. Thanks.

Inconsistent Text Messages: Look.. I texted you at 8:00PM MONDAY. Its Wednesday, explain to me WHY you are hitting me with a reply now.

Some Women on Twitter: With them small ass profile photos you think she has a chance of being cute. Until.. Well shit, you see a full image shot. Shit jie hideous.

Chris Brown: You put panties on your head. Wait.. these Rihanna panties we talkin bout. Nevermind, you get a pass.

Cassie: You need more tittie meat. Seriously trying to understand if you wear BRAS, or just wear infant wifebeaters. Thought you were the 6th member of B5 for a second bew bew.

Co-Workers who ask shit they can do themselves. Look here.. Why you asking me to scan a document? Joint at YOUR desk.

Women skipping birth control to get pregnant: LONG story. Watch "Lakeview Terrace and you'll understand.

People who fart in crowds then move away asking "ugh, you smell that?".. Dog.. If you smelled it then SPOKE on it, you need to check your drawls.

Red Lobster: Only giving out FOUR cheddar biscuits at a time now. Fuck all that. Gimme my six back.

Boundaries are for Squares. Open up your Inner Circle.

2009-04-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

So, I was reading a blog on my favorite buddy's blog: "The Boundaries Blog"

Feel free to read that blog, because I have a reply to it. Fellas, I try to have y'all back, but at the sake of argument, some shit is fact, some is fiction. So our cards will be pulled. Read on"

First lets break down what "Talking to is".. in retrospect. A Mans version, and a WOMANS version of what she THINKS are his reasons. Granted if someone TELLS you they are trying to get to know you, its stationary they are attracted to you. What people, both male and female forget to realize is we have ENOUGH friends. At this point in MANY of our lifes, we know who we CAN and CANNOT consider to be a friend. I personally feel the term friend is thrown around to blanket the fact that we don't want the person to play any other role in our lifes.

Example: He trys to talk to you, you tell him you see him as a friend. He follows suit and allows you to see him as a friend, in return for a broken heart and a second best label.

Outcome: He will STILL continue to like you, regardless of the men you being attracted to coming in and out of your life. Legitamately, he wanted to get to know you for the woman he saw, not the woman you could become. <--Think women need to re-read that.

What SHE thinks about Getting to know YOU: 1) Exchanging numbers 2) Go out here or there once a week or every two 3) Light convo, likes an dislikes 4) Still figuring out what role they will play

What HE thinks about Getting to know YOU:

Exchanging contacts

Explaining his reasons for chosing you/liking you

Taking you out to prove he's worthy of your time.

Basic questions every man has asked you, that you're probably tired of re-itterating.

Suming up what role hes applicable for.

What SHE thinks about Talking to you: 1) Talk to them DAILY or try too 2) Your spare time is OUR time!!!3) We're in LIKE next transition maybe L@??! 4) Where do we stand what's OUR future...do we have one? Could he be THE 1?

What HE thinks about Talking to you:

He assumes talking to you means he is exclusive. He knows men are in and out of your life, but hes at a postion high enough he can't be replaced. [usually the vital point where dudes get comfortable and fuck up with inconsistency]

Talk periodically on a DAILY basis. Dont call and talk for hours because you should know enough to form an idea of their personality.

Knows your +'s and -'s.

"Here We Stand" complex. Wanting for, but the feeling may not be residual.

I personally think its FUNNY when a woman thinks the reason a man talks to them is because of the things he stands to gain from talking to them. I talked to a girl that swore up and down that I wanted sex from her at all points of the day. So what she would do is dangle it in my face, meanwhile having me handcuffed so I couldnt grab it. I'm not sure if she was fucking someone else, personally didn't care, but I got to the point where me "getting to know her" was going nowhere but to the "friendship" bin. As a resource, I continues "getting to know" other women, and played the odds. To her dismay, she felt as if she was the only one could play that game, yet I was supposed to stick to her and just her..because she wasn't clear on what she wanted to become.

The thing some women do not understand, most men genuwinely want to get to know you for the minor things collectively to become something major. Its a 50/50 thing.

[Pardon me.. My co-worker came in acting as if I was supposed to help her. I'm blogging. Go thaddaway].... Moving right along. Ahem.

Women instantly get intimidated with the term "I'm trying to talk to you". When a man says these words, his intentions to her are crystal clear: hes trying to bun her, hes trying to fuck, or he's trying to be a mix of both.

So when a guy uses his own safety net as says "I'm trying to get to know you" it has more of a cushion for a woman, because she can take the ability to twist his words and twist them for her benefit. Which is decent because you should try to have the upper hand. Cool. So when he does show the LEAST amount of interest in whats between your thighs... Fellas, expect to hear "I thought you wanted to get to know me"

This is simply her way of saying "You can get to know me without spreading my legs". Wholetime she could be having sex with someone else that doesn't even know what classes she took this semester. [even IF that that was one of your "getting to know" question]

Men: When you tell a woman why you want her, tell her everything up front. If you met her, liked her attire and how it fit her, tell her. Shes heard shes pretty before. If she can't handle you being real with her and saying "Look, I like how you look physically, I dont know how smart you are, but in time I'm going to learn." She will take that better than you telling her "you like her because she seems like shes intriguing". 12 times out of ten she KNOWS that her body is vicious, and wore that attire to get the attention that you gave. Just so happens you SPOKE on it.

Women: When a man is honest to you. Accept or decline from the get go. Tell him "look, I'm not attracted to you, you seem like an individual worth knowing, but I have no intentions of showing you the same courtesy". Period. Its basic psychology. If you tell a person what they NEED to hear the first time, they cant be mad at the fact you went out of your way to show no interest. This also works when you decide you are going to show them even the SLIGHTEST signs of flirtation. Keep shit platonic from get go. ALL the overnight visitations, the undivided attentiveness.. makes men believe there is interest there. Show none, of make it clear from the 0:01 second you meet. Problem solved.

MEN: (again..Since women have pussies and hardly deal with rejection as much): Dont dwell off the fact you cant have her. And don't go out of your way to show that you can do better. Make a woman worth your time happy. Its better to continue "getting to know the woman your talking to", then re-reading the DATING INSTRUCTION MANUAL and starting from scratch in repetition.

Tis' All.

Single Women, Shut The Hell Up [Interesting Read]

2009-04-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer, this was writen by a WOMAN. I didn't have a blog for today, so I figured I'd share this with the masses. Enjoy:

By Wendy Atterberry

(The Frisky) -- In a recent column on the Huffington Post, "Why I'm Single," writer Lea Lane lists all the reasons that she's still single. Why? So she can send the URL to all the nosy, possibly well-meaning busy-bodies who keep asking her why she isn't in a relationship.

Lane presents a persuasive case; it almost made me wish for the days I, too, had the whole bed to myself. She's one of what I'll call the "Happies," women who are perfectly content with their single status.

They don't want for a companion; they love their solitude and have enough friends, hobbies, and passions to keep themselves busy.

Although, most Happies, like Lane, are "open to options, and do understand the beauty and wonder -- and blessing -- of a good relationship," they neither actively seek one nor passively hope and pray one comes their way. The Happies say they don't need a relationship to be content, and, by God, they mean it.

On the other side of the single lady spectrum, you've got the "Crappies." They're the single ladies with really crappy attitudes. Take, for example, Jezebel's Megan Carpentier, who responded to Lane's column with a list of her own, a list that not only doesn't make me a little nostalgic for my single days, it makes me sort of, well, sad -- for her.

I'm sad for the Crappies, because, as much as they say, like Megan, "I've made my peace with being single because I don't have to pretend I don't drink from the carton or sleep with one of those face masks on or watch 'Murder She Wrote' too late at night," they're whining to everyone who will listen about how much it sucks that they can't find a guy who wants to date them.

They're so committed to not compromising, to not being flexible, to not stepping a centimeter outside their comfort zone, or, God forbid, turning off their guilty pleasure TV, they refuse to actually GO OUT, mingle, maybe even meet someone nice.

No, they'd rather stay in, whine, and have their friends write testimonials on their blogs about why they'd be so great to date.

In an attempt to hide their loneliness from themselves -- because they're sure not hiding it from anyone else -- the Crappies adopt an air of self-righteousness. "I'm probably alone because I dated when I wanted to," they tell themselves, "and got into relationships when I wanted to, and got out of them when I needed to."

As if people who aren't alone are a bunch of morons who got stuck in bad relationships that they never wanted to be in and don't have the strength to get out of. "I'm alone because I eschewed goal-oriented dating and 'trying to find someone,'" they brag.

Because, wow, there's nothing worse than actually being pro-active, particularly when the goal is happiness. That kind of stuff is for losers! That kind of stuff is for self-hating women who subscribe to "The Rules!" Except it isn't.

Ladies, if you're single and truly happy to be so, more power to you! There's no reason in the world you need to make a list or explain to anyone why you're not in a relationship.

But if you're a woman who is unhappily single and would love nothing more than having someone to share your life with, it's time to quit whining, stop making self-righteous excuses, turn off your TV, get out there, and meet people.

There's no shame in being goal-oriented and dating with purpose. There's no shame in opening your mind, being flexible, and learning to compromise. Spread the word you're on the market, tell your friends, tell your friends of friends, let your co-workers, family, and entire social network know you're looking for dates.

Take care of yourself, dress well, look good every time you go outside. Smile at people when you're out and about, make small talk in check-out lines, keep your radar up at all times. You never know when the right person for you will be rounding the next corner.

But bear in mind, YOU aren't perfect, and there's not going to be a perfect person for you. If you refuse to settle for anything less, you're going to be lonely for a very, very long time.

If you aren't prepared to open your mind a little, you might as well stay in with your "Murder She Wrote" and your crappy attitude. But, for the love of God, quit your whining. The rest of us don't

I Feel Like you Should Put Your Pussy On My Face

2009-04-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

I feel as if you need to be listening to this song as you read this blog

birthday sex (demo) - jeremih

Song jie like snuck up on me like shit, however it pretty much describes how my summer will be. Now, I'm not supposed to talk about sex for a week, but I feel as if this one blog will suffice for the rest of the week, so I will go ahead and speak on it. The last time I had sex, was good sex. So when I heard this song, I pretty much imagined how I'm going to spend 90 days of the summer giving her impeccible dick. Now all summer I've been reading sex guides, and stragegies for things I should be doing to my sex partner. So she need be prepared. She being whomeever. [Interim..]

I measured my tongue over the weekend, 2.7 inches. Decent right?

Theres a good three women I've said I want to have sex with, one knows, the other two.. I want at the same time. Wild as shit, but I figure fuck it. This summer I'm determined to do the following:

Have sex hanging off a balcony in broad daylight

Have sex in front of a peer audience. Yeah, I've done it before, but I was like strategized yet discreet sex. Like those little booths in "Hostel" or whatever, but yeah..

Have sex in the HOV lane.

Have sex in one of those "Model" houses and shit. Ditch the tour guide and go into one of the vacant rooms and get real uncivilized. Then walk out like nothing happened.

Have sex/oral pleasures in Transformers 2. Reason why: None, just sound good.

So a female asked me today via Twitter: "What makes me think my sex is so great".

Never said that. However, I do what I need to do when I need to do it. I am open to suggestions, I take hints, and do surveys. Aint no purpose in fucking someone knowing you can't please them. This is where text messages come into play.

Me: So how you want it done?

Her: However you going to give it to me.

Me: Thats great. So if I just decide I'll give you five deep strokes, pull
out and roll over you'd be mad. Specifics.

Her: Nah, I want it from the back, from the side, I want it ate, thats
mandatory.

Me: I guess I'll be the dominant one.

I ask simple questions, but it seems women get timid when you ask a flat out question. Now.. Granted if I said 'let me eat your pussy, arch over, let me get it that way".. I'd get a stare like "oh, forreal". Yeah, I'm serious. So when I get questioned like "what makes you so sure in bed".. Its the fact that I'm willing to either be the leader, or the follower. Some people just opt for one roll and stick to it. Sometimes I want to wake up to you straddling me. Great, make my AM better. Shit.. I wish I had that shit happening to ME sunday morning. [Yawn*...you know what it is] But the powers that be say.. yeah...

Also.. Moving right along. I have a lesbian friend Arekah, and she put it to me like this: "Its summertime, I'm tryna see some bitches summa time 2nite"

Shit, the WWF aint the ONLY ones that like to tag team. Dig? Dug.

Fin'

Now Taking Them Drake Apologies

2009-04-24T10:45:00.000-07:00

Now granted, I tried to tole em. 2005 I was saying it. Fuck... I told em again in 2006. I let them have 2007 when they heard "Replacement Girl" because they saw Trey Songz and shit and figured it was the new hotness. Then In October 07 they heard Wayne going off his tracks, now EVERYBODY on dicks.

Just figured I'd go ahead and get them apologize for doubting me. Granted said the SAME shit about LUPE a few years back. Drake on the comeup faster than Lup' was.. so I KNOW people on dicks.

So yeah, I forgive y'all.

Ultrabar: Ugly Ladies Tryna Really Alter Being A RECK

2009-04-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Told yall I'd do it again. I SWEAR I aint go buy a rack of drinks and have an outrageous tab. I went and got the $3.00 specials. So by the fourth I was like John Legend...ready to go. Moving right along... Arekah...liquid leggings...my lordy. If you weren't so you I'd moufkiss you in public and hold your hand. Wee o wee....like a cop car. <---- yes I've been using this quote in normal conversation. So at first the jaunt was a meat fest. I found myself going to the bathroom just to get AWAY from the rest of the dudes. And the beginning flock of women. I definitely had the "no lord why me" look for a good hour point five.

Then seen a youngin....couldn't be a day over 19...had on some type fashions that must have malfunctioned so her back was all out. And she had an ass tat that lead up her back. Found myself going and saying "if you only had a band". I believe I said this to her.

I saw Ashley and her crew from Trinity U also. Looking just as good as yall wanna look. Oww. Ashley you jie got a trunk on you like a Dodge Caravan. Just round and rotund. Made a man want to pull up to your bumper and just tag you from the back. Your friend I was sitting next to the whole night...yeah..two thumbs. Khalid "holla at me baby"

Now...

Niggas dappin each other from across the room. Bammas like shit. Like I understand yall boys and shit...cool. However....nigga......nigga....this is NOT the time to give them love everlasting daps. Hurting a nigga hand and shit. Come on now dude.

Glasses at night old. Fuck is your ass on, some espionage with a beat type blends? I understand yall need to be seen, I feel the same way. However unless you got xray vision...nigga you jie like look like BLANKMAN...out here cuffing broads. J5!

Came to my attention yall dudes out here wearing them Filas that are imitation Pradas. I guess it aint nothing to it but to do it. However I will say this...won't catch me rocking them thangs like. Got me fucked up like sex on the ceiling.

I aint tryna save dat gurlllllll......some females this dedicated to yall. I like to this some of the dudes are giving yall too much credit. Now granted I'm at LOVE a lot. So I know a bourgie female when I see one. However...aint NOTHING I've seen like the boogie HOODRAT joint last night. Now...aint no shane in my game. If you aint living a nightlife lie...I will tell you. So shawty walks up on me like "what you drinking on?" I tell her...then see the X on her hand. So I'm wondering where she getting a drink from since she asking. She proceeds to ask if I can buy her one. No, butch I don't like you and don't care to blink at you any further.

She pulls out a wad of ones and proceeds to hand me cash. Here's where the hoodrat comes out....her outfit. I don't know the broad to save my life but she had hoodrat tatted on her personality. She came to the club with a do rag on. Her heels were leaning...breath smelt like day old "what the fuck" and her cologne...yes cologne was that reminisces of bad weed and cheap hair products.

TOP THREE:!

"Can I get some coke" - White dude to me attempting to get some white broad hyped up off that shit. I dont fuck with that white girl.. NO FUEGO.

Why she standing there like her pussy airing out?- To some broad standin outside looking dumb

Hey there itty bitty bitches- TO the Asian women coming out the club

Honorable Mentions:

- I'm a hangover away from sleeping with you tonight.
- You do look familiar, wait, whats your name again? RIGHT!
- Yes, I'm the Pinnedherassdown dude off Facebook. Oh you could'nt tell? Check out my GOOD side!
- So this is a model call... your a model, take my number down, call me and remind me who you are, because I wont remember.
- Your top heavy, turn around. Oh...I see there IS work to be done. [lmao. fuck y'all that shit is FUNTY!]

Sometimes.

2009-04-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

Sat back and just listened to Bilal and just listened to "Sometimes" for a good two hours last night. It wouldve been a confessions-esque blog but aint nothing I can say that I haven't here.

Sometimes I wonder what y'all REALLY think of me... Sometimes

Sometimes - Bilal

Sometimes I don't think y'all get me....

Sometimes I do it to piss you off. I like that shit.

I'm never the same person 2 days in a row. Not even sometimes.

Interim...I thought it was cute at the beginning..but now sometime you take shit too far.

I wish I didn't try so hard sometime

I should run in the opposite direction instead of walking the same path sometime.

I miss you sometime

Sometime I have to doubt what I talk about..

I wish I would've hopped out the sheets sometime. (maybe I'd keep them around sometime)

I want to spill out all my emotions, but sometime yall aint concerned.

I wish I knew my father will never be the man I am sometime.

I wish I could show up to late for work sometime

Sometime I just want to be in your company but you concerned about niggas who aint fucking with you.

It wouldn't hurt to know the effort I dished out was residual sometime

Sometime I know God puts me on the waiting list for my long list of wants and needs.

Sometime its just my dick that does the thinking.

Sometimes I just talk to a bunch of woman not because I'm a player but each has a characteristic.

I wish I wasn't me •sometimes•

I wish I wouldve intervened when that girl was raped •sometimes•

Many days I go to bed thinking it'll be the last night •sometimes•.

•sometimes• I don't have home training.

I regret fucking you at the Westin, I care for you way more •sometimes•.

Money comes and goes but the pace is never steady...•sometimes•.

I want to win...•sometimes•

Yet I have to accept a loss..•sometimes•

End of the day, I am just a man... Always.

Tahiry's Video From King Magazine Shoot [Goodbye King Magazine]

2009-04-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

I'll have a blog about Tahiry and Je Later, for now deal with this.
If y'all dont know much bout Tahiry, here you go.

Tahiry has the internet going nuts, literally. The New York-bred Dominicana first went viral when photos of her, her apple bottom and her boyfriend Joe Budden, surfaced on several gossip hip-hop blogs.

Soon after, TeeTee sporadically began popping up on Jump Off’s Joe Budden TV. It turns out web heads were more into Tahiry’s curves than hearing Joey warn rappers about putting his “foot in their ass.” Initially limited to brief cameos, she quickly nabbed a lead role-resulting in spiking YouTube views and a buzz of her own, a buzz so deafening that King magazine, XXL’s sister publication, came calling.

Now arguably Joe Budden TV’s main draw, the web star-turned-pinup is splitting King’s last cover with Keyshia Cole. XXL recently caught up with Tahiry to discuss her past video vixen ambitions, the other bad girlfriend, Amber Rose, and whether or not her butt really has a bigger buzz than Joe.

Moving along..

And just an extra something I thought was fucking Hilarious.

Pushing Buddens from jeff on Vimeo.

The Advantages of Having a Blackberry

2009-04-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

Found out Lady Gaga has a Blackberyy. This hightens the fact that I love this women.

Now granted, everybody worth knowing has a Blackberry. Stamp that. I officially have been a blackberry head for a year now. Before that I functioned with a Sidekick LX and a Verizon V Phone. HOW I managed having two phones is BEYOND ME. But I love this little thing. Shit actually keeps me more organized than I'm supposed to. Since Facebook released 1.5 and allows all your messages and notifications to go to your Mail folder.. I've been in LOVE. Peep my screen though...

http://i41.tinypic.com/2cxtcgg.jpg

Joint jive fly. I've had NUMEROUS themes on this theme, but I always end up going right back to the default Zen With a hidden today dock because it look a whole lot more savvy. I used to think corporate heads were the only folks with Berries. I was proved wrong. Anyway, I figured I'd make this note short, and just give you a couple of the Applications that I use that I think you need to put into your Blackberry life.

If you want a LIST of Applications Click HERE :

OPERA MINI ; UBERTWITTER ; QUICKPULL ; YOUTUBE ; FACEBOOK ; GOOGLE SYNC ;

SUMMERS COMING: Interracial Summer Humping

2009-04-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

Interracial Summer Humping.

After looking at this photo made me come to the realization.. whenever I go to Miami or abroad beach wise... there are a LOT of brothers out there with their Khaki shorts on, snuggled up with a Snowbunny...

And quite frankly, some of them are in competition with the sisters. Yeah yeah.. We love a black woman, HOWEVER, racial barriers been getting crossed for years... Just lately, a LOT of white/mixed/diverse broads have been creeping on the come up physique wise...

Would you wife a Snowbunny?

If I were any Dryer, you could call me dust

2009-04-22T04:16:00.000-07:00

Developed a SERIOUS case of amnesia as well as writers block. Wait, isn't that the same thing? Quite possibly. Don't really know what to call it honestly. I'm just going to blame it on the lack of excitement in my life lately. I came to terms with my sister growing up in front of my eyes. Granted I dont spend the time I should because she's a teenager so I know she wants to spend that time with her friends. I was the same way, 5, 6 years ago. She gave up skiing for Spring Break so she could be around them. Heres the catch though...They all went out of town, she stayed home. She could've been in Colorado enjoying the last weekend of the ski season but she opted not to.

Speaking of Ski season, I want to pick up a set of skis for myself. I've been bullshitting and DIDNT get any. I have boots, and all the other gear however. Jacket, backpack, pants, boots, socks, warmers, gloves, mask, goggles, the whole nine. I should've got the end of the season Demos while they were 291, but my money wasnt right so I said fuck it.

I'll only say this because its on my mind, then I'm done with it.

If you feel being talked about in my blog is a bad thing.. its probably because you are a bad thing. A lot of the people I talk about know they are who I'm talking about. I dont go out of my way to give a lie when I can state a fact.

Sex is NOT the only geared topic. Theres plenty of things I rather talk about, just so happens thats all people READ and comprehend. If you go back to my old notes.. they had nothing to do with it. But I geared my blogs to the people who read them. I'm going to change that. Fuck your feelings. This bout me here.

I hate when dudes that KNOW you and the girl have been friends before them tell the girl "I trust you, I just dont trust the guys". I've said this shit, so I'm guilty, and a hypocrite, fuck it. HOWEVER, I came to the conclusion of this... No female, no man is going to give up the people that came before you. Get the fuck over it.

I despise my laptops internet not working. I depend on my blackberry and work computer to type my shit. Hence I no longer care about grammaticals.

Its Staff Appreciation day. So I must be nice for eight hours. Pray for me.

T Minus 8 Days.

It's Easier to make her a Baby Moms than it is to make her a Wife"

2009-04-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

The topic was brought up about "Living Single". Some say its settling for less, some say you settle for second place. But I feel like you should'nt. Short blog. Lets run it.

Have some of you come to the realization that you may NOT get married. You may NOT find that lifetime partner to share errything with with? Shit sounds sad as fuck but it's a reality not many are willing to accept. Yes, its cool to be under 25, living the Party Life, but at the end if it, How does this reality make you feel? Like how does the thought of growing up with nobody to call your own strike you?

Granted, I'm twenty two now, and a lot of women have started the process already, have a child or two [in some cases more], and I've come to conclude its easier to find a baby mother than it is to find a WIFE. Reaching 25, us men go through our 1/4 life crisis around this age where we wont settle, meanwhile sometimes not want to settle down. Hence why so many single mothers are around.

Marriage is like a lifelong goal of being rich and famous. Everybody wants that picket fence, that golden retriever, the pool in the back yard. But everybody wont get that shit. Why?

Many people are selfish as fuck

Even more rather push at blackjack when they have 19 and should fold

Some find marriage as a social standard.

I do agree with Interim, as her and I talked about this situation, and how she doesn't want kids, nor does she want to get married. I can deal with one, but both, no. You can live with your 39 cats if you want. At LEAST a child should suffice. I'm not calling her lonely for the future, but some people rather take over your life forever, and not deal with the labels and documents and the "quarrels" that come with a marriage.

As a woman pur it, and I quote: There is also a reality when men want that lifelong partner, and the feeling isn't mutual with their lady. Men can be old and alone too

This is true. No need to argue.

My man said the shit perfectly: Who wants to be 50 with a BUN?

Not saying your life is DOOMED if you are single, not saying that at all, meanwhile I can't see a life spent with you and your money being nearly as fulfilling as having someone to share it with. That or just being a "man or woman of preference". Pam Grier gets a pass for being single and 60, but how many people YOU know want to die next to an empty plot? I know I dont.

Before the debates start: The success of the marriages ain't the topic of the blog. Like....that's a whole other can of worms because fact is.....divorce shouldn't eem be an option if you got married for the RIGHT reasons. Many have been married, or plan on getting married for reasons like:

They see it fitting since they've been together with the person for so long its the ONLY option to keep them to self.

In the best interest of the family household.

But NOT to be happy.

Key quote: "Its sad when DIVORCE scares people from MARRIAGE"

Just want to get views and opinions about this topic. Feel free to speak your mind. [if any of y'all READ for the CONTENT, or just the LAUGHS...Clearly this aint a blog of humor.

Fin

Convincing with Her Body Dimensions-: She Don't Want to Be Just "Another Girl"

2009-04-20T07:19:00.001-07:00

This week I'm trying a "no lying, no holds barred" approach. So if something is said in this note, I meant it.

All honesty, I dont even know where to begin. I had enough alcohol on Friday, that I didn't go out Saturday, night, slept all sunday after seeing "Interim" saturday afternoon. I dont really remember much. Forgive me. Came into work this morning feeling like I had someone stomp on my face with a baseball cleat. I dont really remember MUCH of Friday outside of meeting a lot of females I've met off Facebook, Duane lunching and grabbing some broad in the club, and I actually think I got a kiss from a female I used to be heavy steady with on the 3rd floor dance floor. Don't judge me.

I was told I grabbed one of Ky's friends, who happened to be a cute plump plus sized jaint, and dancing with her. I also remember Tamira's purple dress. Dear Tamira, I seriously considered having sex with you at the end of the night. May not have been consentual because I fell off and I'm sure other niggas are on you this month, but you know how me and you rock. Don't need to say much else about that.

Ultrabar bartender on Friday... Umm yeah, you still a pussy for charging me $68.00 and adding your own 22.00 tip. Next time I see you, its on like Donkey Kong. Quite frankly I dont play that shit. You lucky your a female, and I dont hit females. But I do cock back and launch knuckles at bitches. What you did was a bitch move. You qualify.

Few lessons I've learned about light skinned women:

We men love y'all and let y'all get away with murder. Regardless of how feeble minded some of you creatures are.

A lot of you are being used to diversify the black spectrum. In laimens terms, a lot of men are just getting y'all ass pregnant because they are darker than me, and refuse to take the risk of having a dark skinned ugly baby. At least a light skinned ugly baby can end up getting a pass for having green eyes to compliment not having good skin. Its facts.

When you don't get payed enough attention, its an issue. [Edit] Thats all women. Forgive me.

EDIT: A friend sent me this-

So i read in ur note that some men dont talk to dark-skinned chicks cause they'll have an ugly baby.....My reaction...OUCH!!I appreciate your honesty but not all dark women are ugly and not all light women will give u a pretty baby....

That part wasnt in the note, and not of being in fear of having an ugly baby. It was more so an unbiased statement of men thinking they will have CUTER babies because they are fucking a light skinned women. Men are bigger baby critiques than women.

So I measured my portfolio today. Some of you I have no problem saying your names because you know what it is. And I dont talk bad about you. Jeanetta has made a week schedule for herself, I figured I'd do the same. Right now Saturdays are reserved for Interim. Call her that for the sake of her being consistent. We are'nt anything special, so when we see each other, its that. So bewbew, you have Saturday.

Monday: Rest/Relaxation- Nobody has this day. This is downloading porn and music day, also to recover from that weekend I just had.

Tuesday: PhatPhat. Would've been Interim, but she graduated to Saturday, and she's the only female that parties on a tuesday, every Tuesday. Usually we go to lunch. Jist of it.

Wednesday: Date Night. If theres a movie I want to see, it'll be on a wednesday. Beginning of the week aint good, and I hate going to movies everybody's in. I guess thats why I hate Tyler Perry movies.

Thursday: -------. Still open. Guess I havent kept a female around long enough to give a date for this. As of late its been bar.

Friday: This changes. Club, bar, whatever. Sometime I'll be nice and invite someone out at like 5pm to hang out. 75% of the time, they had the original party motives as me. This would be "Ms. Pretty Face", but she doesnt keep a calendar, therefore, she gets what I give her. Lately, zero.

Saturday: Interim. Stamped. Self explanatory. Then maybe, night outting with or without her. She has that option. On occasion Lauren London comes to town, they switch.

Sunday: Dunno yet. Waiting for validation. Keep posted.

Granted this aint a sex schedule. If shit happens it does. I know what me telling y'all this means. If I DO offer the time to a particular individual, it will be like "Oh, what happened to her?" Thats none of your concern. Either you bout it, or you aint. Last thing I need on my conscience is sassing a female who acts like she dont talk to as many dudes as I talk to women. Just being honest. But hey, y'all like being lied to, so maybe I should get on my shit.

Sidenote: One night stands aint shit. I got a call from a person that knows a person that had an inquiring mind. Wild shit, I know. Let me go head and run down the convo.

Me: Whats up? Been a while since you called.

Her: True, just wanted to ask you, did you have sex with [insert faux
name]

Me: Yeah.. Why?

Her: oh, you know she got a recommendation, right?

Me: *pause*...Uhm... Elaborate..

Her: Yeah, she asked ****** about how you were in bed and if it was like you
described in your notes.

Me: Kind of figured that, she wouldnt be the first one.

Her: Did you fuck her again?

Me: Nope.

Her: Why not?

Me: She had dudes she was talking to. It was a night of first, so I figured
why not. Sure she felt the same.

Her: Y'all still talk?

Me: Everytime couple days/weeks when she realizes I aint tripping. I guess
women think fucking a dude once phases us. Im comfortable in knowing I did my
part. She came, I asked for round two, she got it. I have a scar to prove
it.

Her: TMI.

Me: Obviously not enough if she's been going around like David Caruso trying
to find out where my dick been and how it was.

Moral of the story- I hate when females QUESTION the shit I say in my notes. I practice what I preach, and I know the art of my own shit. Stop that.

I'm done. Headache ensues. Bye.

Last Night @ Ultrabar: Bartenders are bastids. You heard me, bastids.

2009-04-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

Woke up off a non existent hangover. Picture that. Well....not exactly but fuck it. let me explain why Greg will NO longer drink...at clubs.

Bartenders are some bitches. Especially rookies or jaints that think people won't tip them.

- I get to the bar and say "fuck it...ts happy hour...three dollar drinks...I buy five." one for me...four for some friends I went to school with.. $15.
- when my boy arrives get me and him a midori, his boys the specials....$22
- get one last drink for me and my boy...pussy juice. $20

Final Tab= $68.00

Lesson Learned: Fuck a bar, liquor store.

Mind you I'm supposed to be self absorbed...but I'm generous with it though. Fuck it. ONE day somebody gon be nice. I know plenty people I've got drinks for. No prollem...forward. I see a light skinned girl. We stare each other down majority of the night. Tried to figure out who she was because she was with a female that dressed like a nigga. I wouldn't go and call her gay just yet because all honesty if you took away the baggy sweater...I'm sure the titties sit upright. Cool. Needless to say we stared back and forward but at speak. I wasn't approaching to hear that she's with her girlfriend. Prides a bitch...and I be fucking her.

So I see a friend. I speak, state my name and shit, wow! She's beautiful too. Won't fake...I looked at her body too (sorry Paris) but after my glances I stopped she and I both agreed it was wack around the time. I personally waited on someone to dance so I could groove and break being uncomfortable. Then I see liquid leggings.

Everybody know liquid leggings by now and how I feel about them. So I see her but aint really want to speak...so I just look..she looks back...then I see her phone...blackberry storm. Bam.

Me: your jaint running slow?
Her: yeah what about yours? (shows
her phone)
[extra nonsense leading to exchange of Pins and numbers]...

We in the same area for the rest of the night so we talking on and off. She asked why I wasn't dancing. I personally aint want to say that she was one of few that looked damn good so I just said I was scoping and talking shit from afar. So she gets in front of me and dances. Two thumbs. I'm praying she don tell her girlfriends what DID happen though. Ill tell yall since you asked though. Granted I adjusted myself prior to the dance..and sat it so it would lay on my thigh. Just incase the alcohol fucked with me and I had a hard on...which happened. I wasn't embarrassed...It sat on her back. No harm no foul.

So...I see two beautiful face-ded light skinned woman. Now normally light skinned don't strike me but they looked familiar. Like I saw them off Facebook. So I decided I'd do what is done to me twice already tonight...ask who they are. So I walk up to the tallest one I guess because the one a tad bit shorter was lost in the crowd.

Me: excuse me..what's your name?
Her: name given.. What's up?
Me:
confused, isn't your name like Barbie something?
Her: nah that's my cousin
(points to her) I'm perfection on facebook.
Me: okay I'm greg *pause
...walks away.

Wasn't much else to say...felt like an ass speaking and saying the wrong name. Forgive me love. But you and your entourage get the award for best looking. And Barbie...umm yeah...my friend agree...yeah. Perfection too. Your parents blessed yall. Your kids kids will have good qualities as long as they don't fuck nobody three shades darker than me. I'm dark enough.

Marcus, happy birthday and all that good shit, nice meeting you. Was a party once all the shrek jaints found the dark corridor to hide in.

White folks...HOW do yall get in the club with vans with dirty ass laces? Yall got it great. (look at picture)

Yes the camera phone was out. I came prepared...yall came looking jive ugh..I'm almost hurt a tad at the sight of this.

- Marcus...your thick brown skin friend with the white dress...wondrous. Don't worry...I took a shot so you know who I'm talking bout. Didn't take a picture of her face of course...but you catch that drift....

Okay...the white people are coming...I gotta go be corporate...forgive me. Fin.

How Long is sex SUPPOSED to last?

2009-04-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

I've asked a few females this prior, but it was funny to read it on a discussion board that I'm on often. The topic came along:

"How long is sex SUPPOSED to last"

Personally, sex aint supposed to be a competition. Either we have teamwork about the situation at hand, try to give the other person the same pleasures, but some people dont get it. Preferably women.

Enthusiasm has a lot to do with your fucking. A go getter in the bed is always a good thing. Personal preference but I want a female that is throwing pussy instead of just taking dick. Dont run from it. Women complain about consistent stroke, meanwhile are scooting away from the dick every couple minutes. Thats bad business lover. You need to learn that sometimes what hurts you, helps you. The screaming.. unneccessary. If I wanted to hear the incondecsent moans, I'd watch a porn joint.

I'm famous for taking flipping a girl over, grabbing the back of her head and pushing it into the pillow until she she put dentures in the cushion. You feel me? All the moaning is good, the screaming aint eclectic for me toots.

Friend of mine feels the same way:

Good Pussy: I'll give you 20-30 on the first nutt......second is in the air depending on if I been smoking. Might not catch that second one.

Weak pussy......Usually like 35-30 before I fake like I skeeted and keep it moving.

So he goes on to explain as such.

"Just like women do, if a man considers the pussy weak, we wont hit it again."

Like him, I've never been a casulty of not "fitting in", and only ran into a situation where a female wasnt up to par wet wise once, and that was after extended pepetration. Solution was to exit, spit, and enter. Simple math.

Females are good at it, we are as well. When we get a woman with some weak pussy, we don't carry them, just pretty much end up "busy" everytime they hit you up. No need for lube when you are your own natural essence. If you can't keep your body 100 while we are hunching, you probably wont be getting a call back. If I'm entitled to keep a hard dick and a smile, please believe, I must get that same courtesy, and your pussy bets be wet. I've been the type to go and spit on my fingers from the back, wipe it across a pussy and think nothing of it. I aint gon hawk spit in it like a porn star. I'll keep it civil.

Conclusion, regardless who you're with, the first round should be a good 20-30 minutes. Now.. that timeframe has to be full force, going HAM in the pussy. No bathrom breaks, and it doesn't include the exchange of oral. All you women asking for long time loving are senseless. Think about the math. The force I'm going in that 30, you came 5 times, orgasm once, and working towards your second. However with your 1 hour R&B dick, you came twice and waiting for more because he wants to go and fuck like Ne-yo described. Sorry, must be nice, but I put dick down nice.

Moist Satin Sheets: #3 Slow & Steady Wins The Race.

2009-04-15T06:48:00.000-07:00

She told me come over when her daughter left for the night. I love me an older woman. Granted her kids my age...the experience she got it what I want. I bee. Thinking about fucking it all day long. Bulge in my pants tell no lies. At work drawing strategies of things I'm trying to do.

Call her Foxy Brown. Pam Grier like, titties sit upright. Had a kid but her body doing fine. I know I can't demand too much of her because they still live with her. So when I get the chance I know she goes all out, eager to please. She's a thinker in the bedroom. I remember once she pulled over on the interstate, told me to drive as she serviced me like a Pep Boys in the hood. Must admit I came twice.

She likes having a young man so I give her what she likes. In return I get the experience. She puts her leg over her head with ease. And likes to suck her own titties in missionary as she wraps her legs around my chest as I dig up in it.

So I pull up to her house. Lubrication, trojan protected. I call her tell her I parked on the side and let me in. She shows up to the door with Nike body gear and a sports bra. Mustve just in from the gym. Since she's not married her bodys extra tight. And I can see her pussy print in the spandex just throbbing to get its own workout.

"Baby I'm thirsty grab something to drink." Now before me..she was all white Zinfandel and wine coolers. But I've put her onto the "Midnight Menu". So I go and prepared the sex juice. Malibu pineapple and grey goose. Got the recipe from a friend...so let's call it "pussy juice". I took her the cup, she grabs. She sips and says to taste it off her lips. Sometime being an eager student is a good thing so I indulge. Sneaking tongues in our mouths she softly moans, clinching closer..her heart beating from her now naked chest, breast sitting upright, nipples poking my upper body.

I walk her over to the staircase and push her towards the wall. Putting her hands above her head, she submits to my whim. Sucking her breasts, playing with each between my fingers, licking the sides...the nipples, underneath the cuff, I kiss her heart. I feel her soul dancing. She moans "baby I'm sweaty let me get in the shower".

I take her to the bathroom and put her on the counter. She starts getting undressed as I turn on the water. She gets in, and asks if I'm joining. I reply no because I have no change of clothes. She grabs me by the collar and starts kissing my neck, and licking behind my ear. I in turn kiss down. Her chest as she leaves wet footprints on the back of my t shirt, titty prints on the front. Tangled in the shower curtain she rips them down midway through us kissing.

I turn her to the tile on the wall and face her towards it. Arching her back I grab and bite at her asscheeks while she moans passionately. I grab the showerhead and start to run water down her back. As it trickles down, I lick between the drops, pussy and moisture mixed. Gradually moving the showerhead to the front, I turn it on and rub it against her pussy as she digs her newly manicured nails into my shoulder.

"I have to shower" is what she replies, so I hand her the washcloth and her Dove sensitive skin body wash. She looks at me, bites her lip, and squeezes a dab of it on the cloth. Washing from her neck to her breast to her stomach...I watch as this specimen of a woman teases me, naked and foamed, like a starbucks delight. She in turn takes the shower head and rinses herself, rubbing the showerhead on her lower region before asking me to get her back.

I put one of her legs on the soap dish, the other on the ledge and begin to wash. I scrub slow, looking at the tattoo on her right shoulder that connects to the front. Licking the side of her neck...she wants the tongue. She turns, rips my shirt off and unzips my now soaked jeans. I pick her up and carry her out of the bathroom. She prefers to airdry so I put her down near the bed. She gets up and pushes my head back towards the mattress with her index finger.

Pulling it out she start salivating for my dick. She kisses the shaft. Mesmerized at it at full attention she licks the head first. Sticks her tongue in the slit. Makes sure she rubs the balls with her left hand. With every move of her mouth I retaliate with groans. She's experienced. Sucks the head just right, nibbles on it, and licks the sack as well. In a trance I feel obligated to return.

I get up and tell her lay on the bed. She does. When she spreads out...I pick her up in mid air and eat her pussy standing up. Clinching my head with her inner thighs...she cuts on my chin and tongue. I stick my tongue inside the love canal to taste more. She grabs the dick in anticipation for sucking. She goes to town as she grabs my waist and goes at it no hands. I pull her down when it gets too much and arch her back over the bed.

Going for it we are penetrating. Fresh out the shower...her pussy is soaked and now creaming on my dick. I push her into the comforter and tell her put her legs together. Grabbing each cheek, I grind slow and in circles...letting her feel every inch as I lick down her spine. She feels a tightening in her thighs, cliches the pillow close..and explodes all over the bed.

I flip her over and lick it off...

I remove her towel and start to work on those satin sheets....

Jay-Z bagged him an EARNER in Beyonce

2009-04-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

Beyonce, Jay-Z Earned Combined $162 Million In 2008
Britney Spears brought in just $2.25 mil, according to Parade magazine's celeb-earnings list.

By Gil Kaufman

Talk all you want about how Beyoncé's husband rakes in the bucks, but Mrs. Sean Carter is doing just fine on her own, thank you very much. As part of Parade magazine's annual "What People Earn" issue, it's revealed that Beyoncé banked a remarkable $80 million in 2008, just $2 million less than Jay-Z.

Also included in the random sampling of celebrities in the issue was funnyman Will Ferrell, who made $31 million last year, edging out actress Jennifer Aniston, who took in a not-too-shabby $27 million. It was also a good year for Ferrell's former "Saturday Night Live" castmate Tina Fey, who was paid $4.6 million for her work in movies and as the creator/star of "30 Rock."

And though she's now in the midst of a career-reviving tour and has a hit album on her hands with Circus, Britney Spears was not yet ramping up her earning potential in 2008, during which she took home a modest sum (for her) of $2.25 million. Banking twice that much was country-pop sensation Taylor Swift, who brought in $5.5 million.

It was clearly a good year for actor/director/screenwriter Tyler Perry. The "Madea" franchise mastermind amassed an amazing $125 million with his hit movies, plays and various other entertainment ventures.

Proving that crime doesn't pay, the impeached Illinois Governor Rob Blagojevich — who allegedly attempted to sell the Senate seat once occupied by President Obama — made $177,400 (at least that we know of). Another governor who chafed under the harsh spotlight in 2008 — and who was seriously lampooned in the new Eminem video — former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin took home the not-too-blue-collar sum of $125,000.

That sum was a bit more than one of the country's newly minted heroes, airline pilot Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, who safely landed a plane on the Hudson River in New York. He earned a modest $100,000 last year.

Frankly, all of these celebs combined couldn't hold a candle to the biggest celebrity earner of the bunch: iconic doll Barbie, who amassed $3.3 billion in her 49th year.

One-time (supposed) Madonna boyfriend Alex Rodriguez had a perfectly good year, with a $34 million paycheck from the Yankees and various endorsements. But that's nothing compared to golf deity Tiger Woods, who made $110 million during a year he mostly spent rehabbing from knee surgery.

Other celebs on the list were TV host Kelly Ripa ($8 million), actor Patrick Dempsey ($3.5 million), billionaire New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg ($1!), racecar driver Danica Patrick ($7 million) and radio host Rush Limbaugh ($38 million).

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1609004/2...s_beyonce.jhtml