50 Mistakes We Men Make In the Bedroom

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex

Just in case you thought the route to sexual bliss was straightforward, here's a list of things to avoid. They're all pretty much guaranteed passion killers for a woman - and if your check list contains more than ten of these, you've got some serious work to do on your sexual etiquette!



















1 Going straight for the naughty bits


You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.





2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.



3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones


Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her


A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child


Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it's sexy


She may not agree with you. In which case it will just be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you thought you were summoning up.

7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor


If you're over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously under sixteen.



8 Not shaving before sex


When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn't so sexy, but at least it'll produce a red rash she can remember you by.

9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex


If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover whose personal hygiene isn't up to scratch. Even though men have a higher smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean - especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) - is not just a matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.

10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked


Pretty much the same point we already made up above, but worth remembering: touch doesn't just have to be in the bedroom, a prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the day, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.



11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she's ready


This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of what's to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.



12 Dropping the condom on the floor


Must we say why this isn't the most popular move post sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue - put it in the bin rather than down the toilet, or it's likely to float there for some time to come as a reminder of your sexual encounter.

13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation


Like we said above, most women just find this irritating - and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when she's aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more acceptable for her than any pressure on the head of her clitoris.

14 Breaking off just as she's getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs


Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she's lying there quietly may actually mean she loves what you're doing; if so, you should feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she'd rather be out shopping.

15 Undressing her clumsily


Listen up guys: you don't have to be able to take her bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my experience, it's better if you don't try. She probably puts it on by fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the garments you don't understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand, undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you're ripping the paper off a birthday present.



16 Undressing yourself inelegantly - which includes taking your socks off after your underwear


Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.



17 Expecting her to shave for you


You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva, but she's more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask her nicely if you'd like her to go smooth. If she says "no", accept that graciously.

18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she's ready, willing and able


In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick things up there, is just as well. However, she'll only want you to do this when the time is right - i.e. when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. If you're giving her clitoris attention, there'll be a point where she might like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you don't know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into bed.



19 Entering her without asking her first


What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn't want to enjoy intercourse then don't press the point. This applies especially to any strategy that involves nudging your penis into position and then pressing forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise! Having said that, you don't always need to ask "May I enter you?" though it can be a romantic and sexy thing to do if you're looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, that's most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way, remains everyone's most popular position for sex.



20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in


This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.

20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure


When you've achieved your most desired objective, and your penis is inside her, you'll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it's best to start slow and shallow. While you're making love, she'll most appreciate your efforts if you're masculine and strong - which is to say, if you act like you know what you're doing, you're considerate and gentle at first, and work up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.

21 Expecting her to make love bottom up


Yes, we all enjoy rear entry. But she may be more self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. "It's incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love", rather than "I get so turned on fucking from behind") she'll probably co-operate from time to time, even if it's only on your birthday and hers.



22 Thrusting too hard


If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.




22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex


There aren't many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation" . See also number 26.

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on


If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".

24 Asking her how it was for her


This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you really want some feedback, phrase it thus: "Did you prefer it when I did X or Y?"

25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure


Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most men, this seems unlikely. But if it's a question of the smell or taste being a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you just want her to fellate you and you simply can't be bothered to reciprocate with cunnilingus, then reading these tips isn't going to help you much anyway.

26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly


Remember the motto: "Women come first!" As a man, you're probably going to lose interest in sex once you've ejaculated - at least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do you. (With the added bonus that it doesn't matter so much if you shoot quite quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn't want to be one of those, now would you?

27 Trying to force her head towards your cock


Let's face it: she's either willing to give your oral sex or she's not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If she doesn't seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her: "There's something you could do that'd give me so much pleasure.... ."

28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she's giving you oral


Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to be considerate about it. She's not likely to be a deep throat expert, and there's no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from her head unless it's to gently stroke her hair, and you won't feel the temptation to encourage her to go deeper.

29 Holding her head when she goes down on you


Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think that's acceptable sexual etiquette you've been watching too many of the wrong kind of films.

30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it's OK


The taste of semen is very much an acquired taste; unfortunately it's one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn't like it, ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you're going to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand. You'll get just as much pleasure, and she won't have to gag or spit your semen out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you're going to come is not permitted.

31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life


Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like that, OK?

32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her


Even if you find it arousing, she's not likely to, for the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive.

33 Apologizing for the size of your penis


Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.

34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like


Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn't really believe it, that's what she wants to hear.

35 Asking her if she'd mind if her girlfriend joined you


Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don't want their partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing before you try this one.

36 Making her do all the work


Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions, have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don't just settle for one favorite position and flog it to death.

37 Trying to slip it in the back door by "accident"


Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have tried than you'd believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn. It's something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it. She's not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you're poking her anus by accident. And she won't believe you if you tell her you just didn't want to ask for directions, even if that's how you are when you're driving around lost, looking for somewhere.

38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking


Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify, taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years' time.

39 Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex


Above almost everything else (except possibly being deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You'll be surprised just how exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a new perspective of your partner's body, or perhaps allows you to see entering your partner's body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size and shape of your penis and her vagina.

40 Not romancing her


Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

41 Slapping her buttocks without checking if she's into a little dominance play


No mater how exciting you may find the idea, don't land a heavy slap on her butt without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls.

42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)


Don't copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.

43 Playing with her anus before she's excited enough to appreciate it


When you're masturbating her clitoris, and you have a finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may well add to her excitement - especially if she's on the verge of orgasm. If you try this before she's really excited and has stopped caring what's happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.

44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come


An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won't let you do it a second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you're prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.

45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it


Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*** her hot wet c*** you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you're making love, and see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!

46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms


Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.

47 Ejaculating on her without asking permission


Coming between her breasts or on her vulva or bottom can be incredibly exciting, but it's nice to ask her first. She may see it less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.

48 Not controlling your ejaculation


Like we said before, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.

49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex


A man who gets up after he's done the business and sets about his daily routine is probably top of most women's sexual dislikes. For her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner. She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to know she's loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do is to spend a half hour or so cuddling her while you relax after making love, even if you're not going to spend the night with her.

50 Not cleaning up after sex


And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you aren't using condoms

The Sixteen [16] Commandments of Man.

I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.

II. Make her jealous

Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

VI. Keep her guessing

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

IX. Connect with her emotions

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.

XI. Be irrationally self-confident

No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more coochie than rational defeatism.

XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an asshole, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate asshole beats being a polite beta, every time.

XIV. **** her good

Fuck her like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, fuck tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

I'm just trying to make myself better, yet you're giving me your worse.

Another day at work. Sitting here listening to "Cant get tired of me" by Bow Wow & Omarion. Joint got me feeling some kind of way. No matter how much the album flopped, I can say this one track made me respect the both of them a whole lot more. But yeah.. thats just a random though. I'm trying to collect my conscience. Bear with me.

"Your task is to be true, not popular." (Luke 6:26)

Message!



That quote right there is the main reason why I started distancing myself from a lot of the frivulous stuff I've been around. Prime example: Social Networking. I lost a sense of reality in some cases. Like I get to work at 9am DAILY. By 10am, I would've already been heavy on facebook. So as a remedy, I backed up off it. Shit was time wasted. I developed an "internet persona". Consumed by a keyboard. Never thought I'd be the one to say no shit like that, but who doesnt? If you say you haven't, your a fucking liar, and I think your mother should have swallowed you. [Im joking. I ked.]

So I sat down, trying to slowly but surely avoid people. And want to hear something funny? When your not "visible" to some people, they make it their business to try to figure out why you arent active in their live. Granted one woman. Cool as shit. We fucked, it was good. Some reason the distance got further, and the words became shorter. Its cool, I understand. We'll call her "CBS" [Constantly bullshitting]. Everytime I hit her in the past, 3, 4 weeks, the conversation seemed one sided. So lately I've been getting the shift. Cool. Understood. I can function off that.

However. I get messages that made me be like "umm... okay, what you need NOW".

Her: I know your prob sleep, but just wanted u to know u were on my mind. Wanted to say "hello"
Me: Hello.
Her: I'll hit you tomorrow if your not busy, and we'll chat.

• Shit like this scares me. Makes me think either she's pregnant, or she's in need of affection.


• When I wanted the affection, I was thrown shade. 808's and heartbreaks. So now since then, I'm like "next".

I'm scared of two things. Committment & a woman who HAS to be smarter than the man that she pursues. Like I'm happy your smart, great. You can read a paragraph, and form complete sentences without cursing at the end of all of them. I love it. HOWEVER.. the one thing that is a pet peeve to me, is one of those renessance circa 1986 Queen Latifah, "Ladies First", revolution of the "No cash, no ass" types. So when a female approaches me

• With intentions of trying to belittle me over her going to Howard, or some HBCU.


• Immediately feels like she is obligated to say how "sex wont be coming easy"


• What shes "used" to getting...

I shake that bitch. Your privledged to breathe the oxygen I inhale. I'm a great man, so miss me with that dumb shit. [sorry i'm about to go on a tangent.]

Dont think your smarter than the rest of the world, let say dumb shit like "I'm used to conversating with lame men. They cant conversate about anything but fucking."

Converse is NOT just a sneaker you ignorant twat. Lets flip to the C section of the dictionary. Converse > Conversate > Conversating.

Just cause your a psychology major doesnt necessarily mean you can read people.

By the way..

I hate when women that are psych majors feel as though since they've taken two course requirement classes about "Psychology", had a few arguments in a classroom, you are immediately the "final diction" on life. Sure, numbers dont lie, but if your reference is a book that tells percentages from 1997...

You've been swindled.

[i.e. "Well, I know 86% of men cheat because they feel as though they cant be tied down. We talked about it in class today"]

If I told you 85% of the women in the United States have had an STD before, I'd get thrown shade. [something to think about fellas. Strap it.]

Moral of this note is this. Nothing.

Adieu.

The "Spray on Condom" Epidemic [True story

Edison had his lightbulb, Ford had his Model T, and Jan Vinzenz Krause has his spray-on condom. Inspired by the mechanics of a drive-through car wash, the German sexual-health educator designed a custom-fitting male contraceptive using liquid latex and some materials from a hardware store. "I felt a little like MacGyver," he says of building the contraption.

U.S. condom sales have been increasing steadily over the years, according to Packaged Facts, a division of Market Research Group, and they are expected to top $444 million annually by 2010. But usage among teens appears to have leveled off, with 61.5% of sexually active high schoolers surveyed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2007 reporting that they had used a condom during their most recent intercourse, down from 62.8% in 2005 and 63% in 2003. Access to condoms is one issue; inclination to use them is another. Which helps explain why companies are constantly looking for ways to improve the standard product — vibrating, warming, climax-delaying, even glow-in-the-dark condoms are all available on drugstore shelves.

Offering a wide variety of condom options is not only a smart business move, it's good for public health. When used properly, condoms don't just act as contraceptives; they also prevent the spread of most sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. That means sexual-health educators, public health officials and condom brand CEOs alike are interested in finding ways to make condoms more appealing, especially to young people.

As a teenager, Krause, now 30, had trouble finding the right size condom, which set him on a quest to aid other similarly befuddled young men. In 2001 he developed an online condom adviser, which provides printable measuring tapes and instructions to help men determine which condom, out of all the brands available in Germany, will fit the best. According to Krause, more than 300,000 people have used the free service.

The site's popularity put Krause in touch with students and sex-ed teachers across Germany, who expressed a common frustration. "They told me, 'Mr. Krause, I don't understand why the industry doesn't develop a condom which fits you perfectly,' " he says.

Hence his idea for a spray-on condom. The prototype, which began testing last year, consists of a hard plastic tube with nozzles that spray liquid latex from all directions, much like the water jets in the tunnel of a car wash. According to Krause, there are numerous advantages to his spray-on condom. "The condom fits 100% perfectly, so the safety is much higher than a standard condom's, and it feels more natural."

But there are some stumbling blocks. The men who tested the spray-on condom had a few hesitations, Krause says. Some were "a little bit afraid to use the tube" and would only try it on their fingers. Others worried that the mechanism, which hisses as it sprays, might ruin the mood.

But the most serious problem with the design — which is what has kept the product off the market thus far — is that the latex takes too long to dry. Liquid latex currently takes two to three minutes to vulcanize, making it impractical. "For people to buy it," Krause says, "it needs to be ready in five to 10 seconds."

That has kept the spray-on condom on hold indefinitely until a faster-drying latex comes along. Meanwhile, Krause is tackling the size problem by preparing to launch a line of condoms in six sizes, instead of the usual one or two. They should be available in Europe starting in September and in the U.S. possibly as early as 2010.

"Having condoms in different sizes we think is a good and smart idea," says David Johnson, group product manager of Trojan Brand Condoms. Trojan's parent company, Church and Dwight, makes nearly 8 out of 10 condoms sold in the U.S. But different-size condoms introduce their own problems: namely, men aren't very eager to buy a small size. Trojan's Magnum line, whose condoms are 15% bigger than regular ones, accounts for 13% of the U.S. market. But when the company introduced a smaller condom several years ago, it had to discontinue it.

Krause says men are reluctant to go to a drugstore cashier with a box of small-size condoms — for obvious reasons. His solution: he plans to sell his new line of different-size condoms online. "Men on the Web," he says, "they are very honest."


http://www.time.com/time/business/article/...1832445,00.html

Moist Satin Sheets: Over there, in the air, she dont care

"Want to know why she came? Because of me. The argument you had, she told me about it. I listened. I remember her vividly saying how much she hated you. So I comforted her. I was her comfort. One thing led to another and I had her on my comforter".

Started off rough. I fucked her like I hated her. Because she hates you. But she loves it. I dont even remember where her panties landed. Or if they even came off. Her bra was still on. We fucked.. Over there. Yeah. That couch..? All over it. Watch where you sit. Those teeth marks on the middle of it came from her when I grinded inside her from the back. It wasnt the dog. Didnt help that the loveseat was there too. We did it over there. She loved it, I fucked it. She sucked me, I sucked her. Funny thing about it.. I actually glanced over and seen the photo of you two. Guess those were the good times. But we're having one now.

Her hairs swaying in my face, juices dripping down my shafts as she commands the attention. Grabbing my face to turn and face her. She sinks her teeth into my neck, biting, and nibbling and sucking. I lean to the side so she can get more. She may have put hickies everywhere that night. I need a full body mirror to check. Back to the scenario, here we go. Shes still aiming for my neck, the necklace you bought her rubbing across my shoulder. I pop it and throw it across the room. Then I commit to sucking her breasts, licking her nipples, kissing under the bottom of them, and gradually licking down to her navel. Your girls so fiesty. Why have you caged this beast so long?

Doing everything I want her to do, I told her to take it all. We've done this before, so she knows what position it is. Only problem was location. Told her lets try something new, so I go and lift her up and move the keyboard off the table. Her legs on my shoulders, the deeper I go, the louder she moans. I'm licking down her thighs until I can feel my tongue licking her toes. So why not suck on them? I did. She likes that. She loves it. Yet I'm still pushing inside her. For you, she says "deeper". For me, she's trying to gasp on air. She knows I dont need all that talking. Baby I'm focused. Damn... You might want to replace that mouse. She just ripped it out as she cums for the fourth time. My little elevator baby. She came up, now she wants to go down.

Hopping off the table, she gets down in position to start giving me pleasure. And I'll take whats offered. I've done it before. So she attempts to take it all in. At this point.. My eyes are rolling in the back of my head. I grab the hair off the side of her face, and cuff it into a fist at the top. Now she tries to take it all in. "baby, this not going to work, hold on" she goes. She gets up, digs into the cabinet, and grabs that bottle of goodhead she stashed away. Your never home anyway. She takes two drops and places them at the back of her mouth. Squirts a dab on my dick, and then she gives it a kiss. Ahh...its warm enough to slide right in.

After a good 45 minutes of pleasuring each other orally. I decide to stand her up, and fuck her good, vertically. We fuck on the wall over there..in the air. Shes up and down like escalators. Or was that elevators? I cant keep track. She makes the sexiest dip in her back. So much so I find myself taking photos on my phone while I hit it from the back. Want to see? Look.

She loves the penetration. When I hit it from that position, she tells me to pull her hair. She dont really care, long as pain is pleasure, she requires more and more. Now we're in your bed. Fucking. Rough as its supposed to be. We've ran though countless bedsheets. She calls me Mr. Weekend Lover. Fuck her great high, drunk or sober. I never dissapoint her. But you do. But she dont care about you.

Your through...

The Best Relationship Advice for any man.

Let go of any rational logic when arguing with a woman. It's a lose lose situation for the man.

I had a conversation with my friend last night (at the time im still writing), and its going on 48 minutes. I have timed the total minutes I've had a reply for everything shes said... and I've only talked for 5 minutes. And she said something that I can agree on, that

Also, woman don't know what they want, so it's best for the man to just not give a fuck. Keep your emotions on neutral ground. Please dont give a shit about the big shit. Focus on the small shit. Notice that she brushed her teeth this morning. Remember the first date what she wore. But stop trying to remember dumb shit like her ex boyfriends names, and her childhood memories. None of that shit matters. Real talk. One thing you need to remember is this. Women deal with emotions men deal with reality. If you have a penis.. you are wrong. Point blank period. So when your arguing with them...you are right no matter how much you know you are right it doesnt matter when arguing with them. So agree. Just say "yes baby", and shut that shit up. Stop arguing with them.

Now dont get me wrong. Communication is definitely key.

However, females are fucking confused and see things mostly one way: their way. It can only go on for so long until us guys tune them out and let them just win the battle.(cause we damn sure win the war).


This is it. Aint no punch lines.

Females.. your entitled to hate this post. its the truth. It hurts. Greg still loves you.

"A woman's life is love, A Man's love is life". [Touche'.]

So, I'll quote something a wise man told me that should be the motto for 2009. Because I'm quite uninterested in the "unraveling of relationships via facebook" [Blog of this Friday]

"Relationships are OPTIONAL...so you really can't even kirk on anyone but yourself if you CHOOSE to deal with the issues"

Now, I'm sure your like "Oh fuck... Hes about to go on somebody." Pretty much..dont feel like it today. I have other things that I want to discuss outside of the relationship aspect. Quite frankly I have one relationship post a week.. So give me leeway to speak on something else. Bout to kick knowledge.

Feminist. I have no problem with them.. And I cracked a slight joke about it in the blog about the bottom of the pussy. But I'm sorry.. quotes like these are humor to my day.

"Man that is living to ejaculate.....he's in a predator mode......"

Like who gave birth to these women?

"Some women..ain't no good because the peenus done ejaculated all in her brain"

So umm.. Figured I'd make a unbiased sex topic.. for us males this time. Females have gotten majority of the attention regarding their vaginas. I usually cater to them for the comments and shit.. But umm.. Fuck that. I have a couple QUESTIONS today, versus going on a tangent. Females can put input in on the matter.. But yeah.

• I've seen it on another one before too and a bunch of porns... And I'm wondering why.... So These chics were using their dildos on themselves but they put a condom on it... Whats the deal with this shit? are they so dirty that they cant keep their toys clean? Its like if us guys were to put on a rubber every time we are gonna beat my meat you know.... Input please?




• Its 2009. Who is STILL denying oral sex? I've put it like this, nasty as it sounds. If your forehead hasnt gone below a belly button, you will not keep a man. Dudes, if you aren't going out of your way for a female, she wont enjoy the actual penetration. Whoever created that "fourplay" shit is rather much a genious. Take advantage of it. Reserve your energy.




• All women need to sign up for birth control. That, or stop fucking. The fertility rate is strange. And majority of the good looking women get swindled into having children with [throwing category]: Convicts, shiftless, jobless, worthless, in the closet, cheating, uneducated..men. Its sickening. Now, dont confuse it, I love children, but I'm 21. Sure its cool if it was a mistake.. blah blah..you take care of your child.. BUT.. Just like I'm sure you wouldnt want a man with baby mother..I dont need a female that still has to deal with her childs father. Because like I was telling Stephanie yesterday at Lunch [HEY Stephanie!], dudes dont give up their baby mothers. No excuses. Conversation went as so.

Stephanie: Dudes will go and visit their baby mother, stay over, and use the excuse "Oh..so I cant see my child?"
Me: If thats the case, take your child to the park. Fuck you staying overnight for? Y'all couldnt stand each other 6 months into the pregnancy.
Stephanie: Exactly. Dudes think they are slick.
Me: Something we can agree on.

So this is me slightly hating.. But I'm jive like hating the fact that all the women who had a life, and could be doing a lot more productive shit with their lives..are stuck playing the mommy role so young. Sure.. Moms had ME young. Cool. Main reason I strap tighter. I refuse to have a child unless theres a mysterious hold in the condom after penetrating Lauren London. [Sly eyes].

Moral of that story is: Females, go to Planned Parenthood and get it together. Dudes are grimy. And obviously missing screws. If your cute, your baby mama type. I've heard niggas saying "I'm making sure NO other nigga get her. She mine forever". If this is the way the ball bounces, I'm sticking to golf. Because

Box of condoms > 18 years.

Dont know if I've really spoken on this. I've tried to be as nice as possible this year so people will stop hassling me for being an asshole. But one thing that really disturbs me, and grinds my gears.. V neck t-shirts. I'm slightly hating because my shoulders arent that low to wear them, meanwhile.. Some shit just isnt for particular men to wear. [i.e. G-Unit wifebeaters].

Y'all might have "missed" it.. But.. Heavy D's Reggae cd jive like is the nicest cd I've skipped out on. Granted.. I have home videos as a toddler of me dancing to Heavy D & The Boyz.. But this cd here.. Christ. I suggest you take a listen.



http://www.megaupload.com/?d=087MM8QR

I'm pretty much done. Not trying to be funny today.

In Regards to this whole "Celibacy" thing...Then the Hiatus..

Hmm. Let me just say after a day of limited activity on here.. I've been on the outside looking in.. and some people on here.. are pretty much fucking boring. Dont shoot the messenger.. but yeah.. A lot of relationship woes, and Obama quotes. Let me say this... JUST because you were in the same venue as Jeezy, TI, and Jay... DOESNT mean you met them. You are NOT a celebritaunte. I had to fight back my own conscience from really going and saying some shit I shouldnt have said.

"Aww, I was out with my Baby TI in VIP last night".

Sweety.. that VIP was packed. If hes on the left side of the room, and your all the way on the right.. you did not party with him. Lets stand corrected. And to make it WORSE... NONE of the girls writing the shit... had ANY photos.. You sicken me. Ugh

Low self esteem makes women do some of the dirtiest things for attention. Label me a skeptic, but its pretty much stationary that we as a people do for the acceptance of another. I think Kanye put it best:

"We'll buy a lot of clothes, though we dont really need them. Things we buy to cover up whats inside".

I digress.

So after reading Nicoles take on "celibacy", I figured I'd put my input. Swore up and down I'd leave this alone for a minute, but why not state my case. A woman who practices celibacy is fine. Understandable. BUT.. theres a fine line. There are some women who have fucked, and used sex as a reason and excuse for getting, grabbing, or keeping a man. This ladies, is where you go completely wrong. I've seen it too many times. A girl goes, gets in a "fuckship" [a relaitonship based on one way emotions, and a whole lot of sex; I.E. a "fuck buddy"] with a man, after a while the sex brigns forth feelings. She cant take the fact that something she once accepted is dragging her down. So she tries to lock the cage down, and throw the "penalty celibacy" flag up.

Now, I'm sure a lot of you women have your reasons for going celibate, whoo whoo, whatever..But.. from a mans perspective, because I'm nothing else, its a plot. Wikipedia describes celibacy as so:

Celibacy refers to being unmarried or abstaining from sexual intercourse (i.e., chastity). A vow of celibacy is a promise not to enter into marriage or engage in sexual intercourse. The term involuntary celibacy has recently appeared to describe a chronic, unwilling state of celibacy.

Going with this definition alone.. this means one thing. Withholding of sexual apparatus until you settle with your life partner. Its 2009, no woman can do this. Hate me for it, but I'll elaborate. I've come to the conclusion, 97% of women have fallen in love at least twice in their lifetime. They say true love happens once. So, wheres the math, right? Right. Therefore a woman saying shes waiting on the "right one", is pretty much a bullshit reasoning for her past. You should'nt have to barricade your sexual life with a person in order to feel as though they are right for you.

The "Guy" coming out in me. And I'll try to make it as blunt as possible. Yes, your feelings will be hurt. Marjority of you will hate me after...But..

Once you tell a man that you are celibate, and you dont plan on having sex until marriage. Its a trap. No man is seriously..taking you seriously with that statement. Because 12 times out of 10, if your heimen is broke, you've fucked. And if not, you plan on doing so. So when you tell a man he has to wed you in order for him to take the "ultimate intimacy" step with you.. you are "putting a lease on your pussy". You might as well not even mention it in all honestly. Just tell him you are not ready.

Lease on the Pussy: Refer to- Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Christmas, Birthdays, Vacations.

Example: A woman meets a man. He treats her right, does good by her, she withholds sex. Why? Because hes so PERFECT... she knows theres a problem.

Yet... Twist the scenario. Woman meets man. Mans a dog. He cheats, fucks other females. Never calls, no affection. She donates the pussy like its government cheese. And you know how much niggers love cheese.

And pretty much to sum it up.... You are going to have men marrying you for all the wrong reasons.. And nothing says divorce more than a female with wack pussy. Some of you women have it. And know it. Thats why your playing Trapper Keeper.

Anywho...

Nicole said this:

"Not only will the man I marry be ok with this but he will be doing the same and expect that from me. When I marry that union will be blessed by God. You see God will give the approval of the man I marry. God has actually already picked him out. The man God has chosen is perfect for me. So I am sure that my sex life will be off the chain and blessed by my Lord! As far as the horny part…I usually ignore it….or in a sarcastic tone tell them I go streaking."


exactly.

Blessings of God, and all of that wu-tang talk is cool...But, practice what you preach. A few heartbreaks makes your chest stronger. If your timid about it, and your practicing for all of the WRONG reasons, then nobody will take you seriously. I personally have a friend who.. since having a baby has become very spiritual, and is now on the celibacy route. Me.. being who I am.. in the back of my mind.. I say to myself "okay.. she just dont want to have no more babies right now. So she throws that cxcuse to men". I could be wrong.. but whats a better defense mechanism, condoms? Ha. Thought so.

Moral of the story is.. If your virginity has been lost, you cant vouch for it back [I've tried]. Its not coming back. So me saying I'm going celibate, slim and none. I tried the 60 day method. It felt good, but by day 61, I had so many unpure thoughts, the person I slept with didnt sleep that evening. So ladies, yes.. a guy will be quick to change the topic to something else, or never call you back after you speak on the celibacy thing. I mean, can you blame him? Sure.. you are being outright and forward with him when he asks you... but.. be real. At OUR young age now.. how long have you gone without sex.. seriously. I know some will say "a year", some will say a couple months.. But celibacy has no time table sweetheart. And if your looking for the right one, and never find him... there are a lot of days on the calendar to Never. Think about that.

I'm done.

Edit: My opinion may or may not be the same as yours... If you disagree... comment.

No jokes.

"Never Let A Man Hit the Bottom of your Vagina"

This blog should be interesting. Now granted I wrote a status regarding "Whats the WORSE lie you've ever told the opposite sex?". let... the bulk of the replies came from so..

- The number of sex partners had & if the sex was good.
- "I'm on my period"
- "I'm a lesbian"

Obviously the ones that are typical. Understood. But one in particular was the one I was DYING for all of them to say.. And they did.

- "Size doesn't matter"

And I know PLENTY of women now. And all of them preach a sermon of how much they want a crave a big penis. And its crazy, because I've heard of women taking some extreme measures when it comes to finding a mans dick size. Like one girl I know gave me word that when shes freaking a dude at the club.. she goes and checks that first hand. So in reply to her I asked.. "So if your so consumed on his dick size, is the sex bad because your focus is on the actual thought of the size, or the fact that hes not putting forth enough effort to please you?"

Wait a minute.. Pause.. that was a fucking great quote right there. I think y'all need to print that on a t-shirt and sell it. I'll re-iterate.

"So if your so consumed on his dick size, is the sex bad because your focus is on the actual thought of the size, or the fact that hes not putting forth enough effort to please you?"

So as a female.. of course she hits me [Mr. Ass man] with this statement. "So why are men consumed on a female with a phat ass"

I couldn't answer with an elaborate response to try to confuse her, so I said the first original thing that came to mind. "A woman with a phat butt looks better from the back when you spread her ass like rumors". She laughed. I giggled, and we got off the topic.

I digress..Tiana [grown ass woman Tiana] said this:

"Size doesn't matter. I have had a dude with a smaller dick make me cum more times than a nigga with a big one. It's like guys with the big one think they ain't gotta put in work and the size handles it...hell nah! I need creativity. A guy with a smaller one will take that extra effort to prove that his shit is bomb or at least the ones I've encountered lol!"

Now it's funny when i hear a female say this, because I know plenty of male friends of mine that overcompensate for their dick game with women by words. I've had one of my guy friends that fucked a girl that I know seriously come to me explaining it like "yeah man, she came on my dick, she did this, she did that". So mind you... I could care less. Last thing I want to hear is about you..fucking one of my friends. I can handle it.. but like ugh. All I kept thinking was "Gonads and Strife". So her and I get to talking about what happened the night before. And conversation goes as so.

Mrs. Pretty Pussy: Greg, I hope you aren't offended about what went down last night.
Me: Not by a long shot. Y'all fucked right?
Mrs. Pretty Pussy: Yeah. I'm ashamed.
Me: Just shake it off. Think like I do. You got a nut, slept, woke up and developed amnesia.
Mrs. Pretty Pussy: Trust me. I wish I got a nut. I didn't even moan.
Me: Beg pardon?
Mrs. Pretty Pussy: Yeah. He came after 9 strokes. Got up and tried to go again and went limp. Told me to suck him off. Hes not my man
Me: Umm..yeah. May I please be excused to the quiet corner to laugh?
Mrs. Pretty Pussy: Why?
Me: Because he said he hit you from the back and you screamed out "ooh"
Mrs. Pretty Pussy: No no. I said "whoa". Because the condom popped, made him change it.
Me: Niggahs. hahahahahahaha. I'm going to bed.


And yes.. I have some VERY sexually driven posts and blogs, but yeah. I don't look down on my dick in shame either. I will probably be the only man on Earth to admit in a room of females that my dick don't reach my kneecap. I just wasn't built like that. My 5'8' frame can only do so much. So.. I've come to the conclusion even I... Mr. Greg. have to come to a female with a "Contractual Dick Agreement" and it goes like so.

"With all penetration proceeding to take place, I would just like to let you know.. somethings are beyond my control. I did not pass the NFL Combine, and I failed to make it to the WWF, so tossing you across the room, choking you until your lose oxygen, and anal sex are undeniable out of the question. This contract simply states that you understand exactly the terms and conditions put forth for you. If you choose to except however, everything else that takes account will be done. Falacio only happens with status. In the words of Anita Baker, I am "Giving you the best that I got." [Jigsaw voice] "Your choice. Live or die. "

Ahh. Feels so much better to say that. Now. On my behalf. The things I've lied about to females. Sad.. but there's particular things I can tell certain women. But there was one woman in particular I found myself HAVING to lie to. Now.. the scenario [rude as it sounds] is quite frankly.. I didnt want to be seen in public with her. Not for the fear of her being ugly... But because I know a LOT of "badder" women, and the fact that she had some of the best head I've ever had in my life, but she wasn't necessarily a "model". Sue me. So. The Conversation went as so:

Golden Lips: You want to go to the movies or something tonight?
Me: What do you want to see? [in my "why do I have to" tone]
Golden Lips: "A family that Preys together". I can check show times.
Me: I don't eem fuck with Tyler Perry, why cant we see something like Mama Mia or something?
Golden Lips: Mama who? I never heard of it.
Me: Be different.
Golden Lips: You just want to have me all alone, don't you?
Me: Precisely.

Now.. I can admit. to this.

• She had impeccable oral sex. Movie theatre..no crowd... dark venue. Perfection.

• WHY would I take anybody but my "MAIN" joint to a Tyler Perry movie. I wouldn't take you to a Will Smith movie, would I? No.

Rude, but I'm trying to be "in tune with my star fucking player".

Other examples of "Lies by me".

-"No, I didnt nut." [Whole time.. I did. I just developed a strategy of when I nut... flip her happy as over, start going down, bam..penis back on stiff-arm mode. Switch condoms. Slide in missionary. Never fails.
- "Yeah, I love the way you give head" <-- Could be true for some of them. But one girl couldnt do it to save her life. I called myself trying to help her our by tossing little hints to her. But you would think she would've got the picture after we watched a porno RIGHT before... and she didnt take notes. Come on. - "I wasnt looking at that girl". If you have to conclude that I was, then I was. Deal with it.
- "If I wanted to cheat, I wouldve left" This isnt necessarily a lie either.. But I had to put this in there. I hate when women have this thing for thinking that every female you flirt or converse with is potential for fucking. In some cases, yes. But if thats the case..you need to recharge your "badder bitch batteries", and get on your game. Women HATE to see a man they cant have. So if you have me.. they will want me. Dig? Dug.
- "Ill go all night". CLEARLY a lie. She shouldve known that. I have asthma honey. And Tia wont give me back my Asthma pump. Therefore I refuse to have my obituary saying I died trying to bust a nut. Sorry Charlie.
- "Your the last person I slept with" Self explanatory.

Example of some great sex that I DID have in 2008. Wont put everything out there. But I will say... She pretty much fucked me sober. Like we left the lounge.. I was under the influence. The sex had perfect timing, and hit the spot at the perfect time. It was one of those sexual experiences where you cover your eyes with your entire arm, just smiling and shit. So...Mrs. Wonderthighs.. I'd like to commend you on being one of my best sexual experiences of 2008. Surprise me with a text message offering penetration in a public place. That would make my Monday greater. [Biggie voice] BABY BAY BAY!

Whew. So.. Back to the topic at hang. Hopefully y'all have nothing else to do with your time today because the comments for this not should dictate how this blog comes out. What excuses have you heard or used against the opposite sex?

What is your take on the "size" matter for men?

Sex Story #1: Portions of a Pen

Girl i been ready to do some serious things to you. last night when i was alone.. I took out a notepad and began to write things that i would do to you if I was given a chance. So I picked up the mechanical pencil over the pen because... Quite frankly.. i might have to erase some of my thoughts in order to surprise you with better ones. Because im a freak. i need a strait jacket on my dick the way I go wild in the bedroom. You hear me? So there I was. index finger on my head pondering things that would make you want to practice karma Sutra in the wildess ways. What about doggy style? Everybody seems to like that position nowadays. I can imagine you arching your back down with your face making conversation with the black satin sheets. Meanwhile im behind you, sweat glistening from my chin down my chest, making acquaintance with your pussy juices. Nuts slapping the top of your pussy from the back as i palm your left ass cheek. I take it out slow just to see the cremy filling of your krispy Creme Creme Caramel flavored doughnut hole. I show it to you like "Damn baby.. I didnt know you could creme like that. Makes me wanna start drinking Decaf. Just hand me 6 packs of sugar from your lips, and Ill get the creme from within your hips. You laugh like you usually do. But back to the mood, its time to get back into you. So back i slide in slow so you can feel every inch individually. But with swift change, i take your left leg, and flip you over some with that leg in the air. As im stroking inside you, i lick down your thigh to your kneecaps, and back up around your ankle. Kissing around your ankle and behind your heel, i blow air on the base of your foot, and gradually move upwards to your feet as i suck each toe individually. You like it dont you? Before you can answer.. Shh.. Answer that question with your body. Tighten the pussy a little more tighter. Make me feel like I'm pulling out a Tuxedo black stretch Hummer out of a one car garage, repeatedly in constant motion. Feeling so good to you you damn near piss on yourself. Im talking about im tickling your bladder with each stroke. Moving your leg flat, im on top of you again.. ready to attack that muscle between your leg that flexes its potency only for me, i slide in slowly.. you moan lightly, ready for me to speed up the progress and begin.. And I run out of lead. So its time for me to grab the pen.

"One Night Stand"

The artistic integrity

Used to think I loved too hard. Now.. I've concluded the women I cared for are too wound up on the compliments they get, that they cant decipher a guy being genuine about theirs. Understood though. 2009 will bring havoc to a lot of that. Also came to the conclusion.. I care less about myself than I do for others. I'm a thinker. How can you blame me. Granted. Whenever I go on my rants.. seems like they come out of the woodworks, confessing their feelings and whatnot. Something relative to the way guys are when they see the same girl they never payed attention too wearing a short skimpy dress. New year... Wont be happening. I can pretty much promise you. I'm playing for keeps from this point on.

Came to the conclusion that I'm a control freak. I'm not saying all must go my way.. but they might as well have a PERCENTAGE of my input into the plan. With that said, I've pretty much consumed the fact that a relationship is NOT in my cards for the near future. Instead of me going out searching, I should actually bench myself and watch the game rather than put too many minutes on the clock. It's come to the point that as bad as I want one, the thought of being locked down actually gives me an asthma attack. The last relationship I was in proved that. But after that fact, the women that I've pursued.. showed no work ethic, lack of drive, and determination for something solid. While I was playing the field, so were they, and there was no compromising from both parties. Its always been something missing, be it they are educated and lacking common sense, or they were basically attention whores. Option two would probably be the majority. I know you'd probably say "well shit, you write a lot, know a lot of people, blah blah.". I should. Think about it this way. If I didnt speak on particular things... who would? Most of the blogs and notes I read are from females complaining about the mistakes they've made in men. So when they see the mistakes I've made in women.. it should click like "well damn.. maybe there should be a compromise". But there never is. Ever.

A girl told me 85% of the male species has failed to surprise her. Sounds pretty much decent. I couldnt put mine into a percentage because in 2008.. I honestly talked to more women than I care to name, and possibly try to number. Maybe that was the reason I never found any solid ones. [It truly is.]

I'll be 22 in a short period of time. Even at the young age I am. I've concluded a lot...

• As each day comes and goes, I realize that life is getting shorter. Had plenty of thoughts like "today could be my last". So I've come to terms that I should live it that way.
• Dating a person, or talking to a person older than you dont really mean jack shit in all actuality. Just means they have more experience making bullshit excuses and have actually mastered the art of procrastination.
• If pussy came with a price tag, I would buy stock in the manufacturing company. One business that even though you may lose interest, you still gain the most from diversifying your options.

Also.. with age comes the change of the views and the things my ears hear. I've been listening to a lot of mellow tracks, and actually come to the conclusion of this... The end of the songs end up being.. someone being played a fool. Tierra made me listen to a track by Jazmine Sullivan [dont remember the name specifically]. But basically she was talking about how she is usually the one freaking and leaving them. [pause.. found the song.]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7LhMapu08I

Lyrics started off like such..

"Usually in the one that's in control and
I'll meet 'em, freak 'em, leave 'em, move onto the next man...
He aint my man"


Funny shit, because if the sexes were changed, and like John Legend or someone sung this song.. I pretty much would say thats how we are in a nutshell. As much as we love doing the shit described in the song...

We end up the same way. [sad, right?]

-Lost for words for the moment. I'm done.

The Process of a "Weekend lover" part 1

2009 approaching. I'm single. Whoopie, right? Shit should intrigue the normal male, but thats not me. 2008 was a great year. I had sex, cool. But.. time to settle. Jamie put the shit in a song and made it sound fucking fantastic. I dont know WHY this man creates wonderful music.. ALL the time though.



But I've actually been a whole lot nicer the past week. My blogs havent aired people out, or called them on their shit.

I've said it once before, but I guess I'll reitterate it. Women have reversed the roles, and tend to dictate when the emotions will flow. Usually a guy is the last to show any of that. Nowadays, they are. Like Netta said.. I've had a sex drought. Head doesnt count. Last two times I remember having sex, a dog was clawing at my leg, and the other time, "A Christmas Story" was playing in the background. I digress. I'm diversifying my shit, and opting to make a closer knit of options. Sure... it sounds wrong saying things about the sex aspect. But ultimately, that factor is about 35% of the reason relationships start. If the sex drive dont match mine, we wont go far. lets just say, hopefully Happy New Year ends better than it did last year, you know?

So.. Ms.Understood comes back into the picture. First time you've probably heard of her. She knows who she is, so I guess that accounts for something. Reason she holds that claim, is because not even she knows what she wants out of the situation. I'm sure some dudehas hurt her in the past. So shes been real timid in her motivation for talking to me. I cant resist from NOT calling and texting her for hours and days at a time just to see how far it can go. If she wants it as bad as I do, then she'll come forward. So far she takes ignitiative when others dont. Even though she doesnt come around often. Its winter break, so I'm sure I'll see more of her before I hear the excuses of her hanging out with friends, or hitting the books. Cool.

Then Stunt Double. Dont know exactly what the situation is with her persay. She has a way of making herself real noticable around the masses. Prime example: Facebook statuses. She dont comment on many, but the ones that intrigue her the most she replies to. And she has a thing for real hip hop. Im waiting for the day we're sitting there talking with Reasonable Doubt playing in the background... But I digress.

Calendar Girl knows shes bad. The long hair gets me everytime. Body is decent as well. Shes not overcompensated with ass and titties, but what she has carries off well. Two thumbs for that, right? Riiight.

Anyway.. So I get a text from Kushi [she smokes... and has a phat ass. Where they coilate, I dont know...]

Hi :)

I reply asking what shes up to, she says at work getting pissed off because the customers are pissing her off. I tell her it'll be cool. She says Oww. The convo picks up.

I ask her if she's going to have her friends spot when she comes back in town. [of course she will]. So I told her to call me. She says she'll call after midnight. [I'll update this section later]

Needless to say.. if you know your nickname, and you read these blogs, I discourage you from catching feelings over whats said. Its my truths.

"My blog is cathartic. It is about keeping it real with myself and others. It's about saying what I need to, even it bruises others because, Shit... sometimes I get bruised and this is where I let that out."

Explains it to a T. and I've been practicing this "telling the truth" thing to balance my equilebrium. So far it seems to be working as its supposed to. You dont like it? Probably because either you can relate, or you wish you could put it the same way i could.


Trey Songz cd "I Gotta Make It" Pretty much describes my every mood. When a female gets on my nerves... "Cheat on You" instantly becomes the topic of choice. Even if I'm not dating her. Not in the sake of me "cheating". but I'm the type of man that goes head on with my issues versus running from them. Trey basically personified the song by TELLING her.. "Look... the boulders you put in front of me are forming a mountain I cant climb. So i'mma work my way around it". Sometime females put too much emphasis on a relationship, friendship, or situation to the point the mans only two choices are to break her heart, or surrender his. And I'm still trying to keep the little bit of mine that I have left. So it will be your heart. I'm sorry. If you take the word "relationship", there are more I's than U's. And If my vowel game is correct.. thats just the way it goes. Me before you. Hence why my options fluxuate so much. I deal with so many women, I'm sure plenty cant take me serious because of the persona they see on facebook and whatnot. I promise you.. Its not the same way. Its funny.. I was telling a female a couple days ago... older than me of course. That I was interested in her. She has a daughter [can manage that]... So i didnt put it to her like I was diving head first, but I showed interest. I wouldnt say she got "scared". but either one or more things..

- Shes concerned about "Internet Greg".
- She sees the female comments on the blogs, and feels like she cant take me seriously
- She's possibly like "oh.. I hear this all the time.. yada yada... dudes always tell me this"

So if you hearing the same stuff from more than one person... the shit has to be the truth. I have no patience for pick up lines. I tell it the first time. If I'm horny and want to fuck.. I'm going to make a status about it. That and or hit on you. Its how it works.

Swear this Trey Songz cd talking to me right now. Vibe with me if you got youtube or an Ipod. Just listen to it. Now Playing: Role Play.

Got me over here feeling all cassanova like. Ugh. Wake up Greg! Your slipping! We need the old mean you back!

Back to the topic though.. In my quest to write all my wrongs, I've done some things that will HOPEFULLY change things with particular individuals, and clear my conscious. You know how people try to do that "good deed for the day"? I've been doing them ALL day long. It HAS to pay off. Maybe making others happy will take me out the slump. Granted, you read in the blogs, you laugh, you have fun, comment wit the "keep it up Greg". If you only knew.

- I kind of get sick of seeing people in relationships, and complaining about them every other day. Being single is great.. but in some cases.. hearing that one voice before you go to sleep.. pretty damn decent.
- I dont speak on A LOT of shit that I see. As much as I talk about sex and fucking... my test are negative. Ask about me. I had to have one girl on three way with my provider so she could hear it first hand. And I still didnt fuck her. Makes me wonder... do you get tested?
-I dispise people who make words longer or shorter than they should be. Theres no need to add multiples of the same letter to complete the word. Youu=you? Come on.

Sigh... Its midnight. I've ranted and rampaged for a few. Dont really care who sees this. Probably wont even tag anyone. I wont.

Creative way to "Blow out a cake".. lmao.

Fucks wrong with these women nowdays man? lmao.

"Black men have just managed to accept less."

Okay. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I chase too much "whispering eye" to save my life. Too much out here at a surplus rate. Like I have a short attention span, and if you dont keep it, pretty much.. you lose, you lose. And it doesnt make it much better that majority of the females I go for and am attracted to have the same mindframe, so when they are complimented too many times, they tend to grow distant. Which as a result.. has caused me not to compliment the fairer sex. Not my fault. You can have someone else pleasure your mental with overhyped innuendoes. If your cute enough just to sleep with, so be it. I'll state it as that. I've been guilty too many times of giving a female too much for her plate.Sad right? I'd like to think so as well. So.. ANother page out of nef's book..

Iceberg Slim's book "Pimp"

"A good pimp is always alone. You gotta always be a puzzle, a mystery to them.
That's how you hold a whore."

Sounds really logical when it comes to terms of putting some in their places.

Random... but I had a conversationw ith an ex today. Its strange when you realize you've officially stopped caring for them. You stop jumping through hoops to make conversation. It was very minimal. I had a christmas party at work, and saw a chocolate fountain. Reminded me of her because I know how much she adores them. So I go to take a photo of it on my phone and send to her. Needless to say the conversation lasted 5 emails back and forward. Basically a semi-catch up, her telling me all of the great wonderful things shes done since I've been gone, and me doing the same. Ever found it funny that whenever placed in this situation, you never tell them the BAD shit thats been going on? Not once did I mention about me seeing her out and not speaking, or about me having strep throat. Guess it didnt cross my mind. But then again, none of their business anyways, I have a reputation to uphold. Mary said it best. "Doing just fine".

Anyway.. I wrote a status the other day regarding how white women are catching up to black women bodywise. Granted, the methods may be going under the knife, or possibly falsified body attire. But wholetime.. I'm prety much sick of the slick shit that black women say when they see interracial couples. Its completely fine when a black man breaks your heart to the point you go and get you a white or asian man, but when a black man goes and steps across the barrier, its instantly an issue. I've seen black men hold their heads down for years when they walk their white woman around a crowd of black women. I had to break it down to a female like this before. Your light skinned right? You think one of your ancestors aint have a one nighter with a white person before? Aint no way you came out yellow. Pretty much summed up the rest of her argument about it. Until she started to bitch and moan about practically nothing.. which ended up with the oh so typical comparisons to exes, and what black men do. Only for her to speak on doing the same thing.

"You black men dont apprechiate a sister. At all. We do everything you want, but you go out and get yourself a cracker. What does she have that we dont?"

• Colorblindness

She doesnt let the texture of her skin dictate who she dates. Yet your knocking her for being able to match the men that you date. I'd respect a white man for dating and taking care of a sister. Not only can he keep up, but hes' proud of a challenge. He will show up to the family reunion linked up with her, meet her whole family, listen to all of the questions like "are you a republican", or "why do whites smell like dogs", and smile. When its all said and done.. he hopes in his car, and drives her home to his nice condo and probably fucks her brains out. So you tell me why a black man cant have the same options? I mean shit.. Joan from girlfriend was getting dicked down for like two seasons from the slick haired white dude.. right?

Pretty much to sum up.. Miss me with the topic of dicussion about "black men have just managed to accept less." I kind of got offended when my friend replied to my status with that. [Joliesha].

-Less bitching, less hate, less drama.

Shit... Give me THAT option anyday. I dont give a damn if the woman is green with six eyes and four breasts. I'll take that over a female that feels she dictates not only her relationships, but her friends and others as well. Because its oh so common that black women have a way of speaking on their friends situations without reflecting the mirror to highlight their own. So moral of that story is.. Sisters.. if you want to speak facts... Have more than three reliable sources. [me, myself & I.] You dig?