It Aint Nothing But A #; Dont Call Me On It.

Now everyone who knows me understands that I typically have a "fetish" of sorts with older women. I have my reasons, and I'll elaborate on them so people understand. Most men will think having a cougar means they've accomplished something. I like older women not for the fact they know more than a woman my age. Or even the fact they have their quote-on-quote "shit" together. I simply like older women because there are some, typically the ones I like, that through caution out of the window and instead of being a peer mediator to a man who's younger than them, they simply let live. They don't see birth dates and numerals. They see compatibility. Of course you'd ask "so why not date someone your age". My mother told me act my age, not my shoe size.

I had a conversation with a woman that I think is very secure in herself, however uses her age at every whim. It is actually frustrating always having to defend the fact that you don't get the option of the day you come out of the womb to someone who's your elder in a sense. But we try. At least I do. So the conversation went as such. Lets call her "Special K".

Special K: Some Women are not into mentoring a man...you gotta come already packaged to be open and used as is.
Me: However: Things fall apart.
Special K: Not Saying we all don't have growing to do, it just depends on how much growing.
Me: That's what you deal with when you talk to younger men. You ain't got to mentor us. Contrary to what you believe: It's now all about y'all.

[At this point in the conversation I was expecting it to go one or two ways: her to dictate a young man worth or explain to me about out previous conversation about dating an older woman; and it not working. She chose Option B. Wise Card to pull]

Special K: Unfortunately...things did fall apart b/c you guys man not have been equally yolked.
Me: Thanks [Female name]
Special K: Why you thanking me?
Me: Because you're stating the obvious.
Special K: Ohh shut up Greg.
Me: Like sometimes we just might know the same things. Your age ain't really shit. I'm just saying. Age typically only matters to the older party. Especially since majority puts enough emphasis on it.
Special K: I met a dude that was way younger than me and I felt the most like myself around him...than any other dude.
Me: Good. So why are you over here speaking on age like it dictates anything.

[Now I feel as if nobody won this argument. Valid points were made on both parts. However I hate to see a woman, or man, in that matter try to substitute age with logic and then go and tangle them together.]

This is what I said to myself because I hate to have debates with women. A woman chooses what she wants wisely. You all aren't like us men who act on impulse and figure it's "okay" to just "float" through life. However, everything regarding ages and everything we've discussed just seems so..planned. Like me for me, not the fact that you were born first and know more. I've lost count how many times I've trumped a woman mentally, and her defense mechanism just so happened to be "you're just young". Thanks. Don't let the big words, and my lack of poor diction and vernacular. I'm a smart dude. I feel inclined to talk to a woman of the same stature. Be it younger or older. And she better not have an issue with my age.

Granted at 23 I should be focused on my career, not the lack thereof a woman. And I promise..I have my salary straight. So to speak. However I've had so much history in my young years, dealing with women of different races, ages, colors, locations...that sometimes I'm acting my age. I have much to learn that I simply couldn't learn from a woman that's doing the same, or living the same lifestyle as me. What do I bring to the table to a woman that's older: Dependability. The leading factor in why she's single. Some older women I've met simply have lacked a man, of any age that's dependable. I have my vices, but I would like to think I never just "not do" for people. Including my significant other. Lets be honest, I FedEx a care package to an Ex because she was sick. Sure we broke up a couple weeks after that. [Wont go there], But I digress.

Bottom line is: I like to be happy. And if you can't be happy completely because as a woman you feel like "a younger man has a lot of life to live and will be hard to tame, think about it like this: Cubs stay in the den, growing to become maned enough to venture on their own. Yes, they need guidance, and care, and even attention. Meanwhile, its typically the cougars that are on the prowl, out scouring for prey.

It's just life. Live it. At 23..or 32.

You Put The Dick In Her: I Put The Dick On Her. And Her.

...So I've had dreams about it. Dreams in plural, like five of them. All in the span of weeks rather. Like they never have an ending point, and the attire always changed. The sheets always change, yes the sheets. I've been having this dream about intercourse with twins. It gets explicit, so much so, I was going to try to make it into a Moist Satin Sheets themed blog, but couldn't. It has me stumped, because...I know twins. A couple of sets. The men that you hear wanting twins probably still do want variety like a threesome with two different women. Its just an intriguing notion to have sex with two other women with the same features. All of them are beautiful and I'm friends with both of the twins. But this dream was..different. Like it started out just a sex thing and escalated to something far..far different so I'll get into it.

It started with a whole lot of texts, and calls. Pretty much between the both of them, just harmless friends flirting. Always had the notion in the back of my head they knew I was flirting with the other. But we know how I am, so the dream goes on as such. One night I just decide to go over there. And hang. We're all cool, so why not bring alcohol. So I do. We chilling, drinking, playing Uno..and things get shifty. Like I'm looking at them with every intention of taking them both down, but you know how it goes. "what if one isn't down?" because you know you have to pick and shit. Twins don't really enjoy the idea of...seeing the other twin fucking. At least that's what I'm lead to believe. The whole seeing double thing is just sexy. Now typically if one twin is cute, the other is fine, and vice verse. But I'm dragging..

So one of the twins apparently is tired and decides to lay down. Lets call this twins Erica and Patrice. I just think the names fit. So Patrice decides she's tire, the drinks flows heavy, the shot challenges commenced and she got restless. Off to bed she goes. So I'm left there..With Erica on a couch. At this point she's already not trying to drink anymore for reasons that are obvious. She's in the mood thanks to the mood juice though. I play my cool. Watching TV, doing little dumb things that might grab her attention. Hitting her with the pillow, looking at her, and when she realizes it look away, kiddie shit. Can't be too forward and say "You Wanna fuck"Esq.

Needless to say I try my hand anyway, she pushes off. I don't try again because I don't want BOTH twins sleep so I simply play it cool. Somehow someway, after another episode of Martin, she feels like "damn, he's not going to try to fuck me again", and I play the "I don't want to really fuck her, I'll beat my dick when I get home" role. Knowing good and damned well..I'm trying to knock all the wind out of her chest like an asthmatic with the inhaler on the opposite side of the room.

Lost in translation, we end up in her room because she wants to be comfortable. Comfortable with me, in her bed, watching TV. I always liked when a woman doesn't have a TV in her room and invites you in there, however a TV in the room means one thing: 10am sportscenter. And Greg likes that. So..we're in the room, and we're talking. She rolls over with her back to me. Now typically I'm not the cuddler, but after a few drinks, and a woman who meets regulatory standards..I'm all for it. And you know how women sleep...in their best "he better not try to fuck me" wear, with their asses arched symmetrically on my lower chest, and lower. Just to see if I'll try my hand. Which...if I weren't sober..I'd probably do. One thing leads to another..

I'm on top of her. Her t-shirt is knotted at her elbows as she's lifting it over her head. I'm working on the buttons on her jeans. Now I don't know if this is typically what women do when they know they are around men, but they wear the most complicated jeans ever. It had like three buttons, a zipper, and a belt. Felt like I was playing pictionary with mimes. But I made it work. And lets just say..her underwear screamed "fuck me rough so my sister can hear it". I swear to you..I did.

Imagine having a thin, beautiful woman riding you reverse cowgirl with her hair flowing down her back, she turns back to you asking if you're enjoying it. Then she tells YOU to keep it down because her sister is in the room. That shit right there just made me hard while typing. So we're going for it, she's grabbing her breasts as she rides on top of me, pussy foaming at the lips as I'm hoping she's not looking back while mouthing to myself "I swear I want to just cum inside of her". Verbatim. You fellas know how it goes.

Just when its feeling good I hear footsteps and the door opens to reveal her sister. She stands there as Erica grabs her breasts. Stunned to walk in on her sister doing this..she seems to be pleased about it. Like she wanted a piece. So I mention to her of my fantasies, and not trying to make the situation weird, meanwhile assuring Erica that she's adequate enough to be my current sex spouse, but I had never done it. Sure it's every mans fantasy, but I want it to go down a little differently. I don't want them to kiss. I don't even want them to touch. I want her to watch me do Erica. Then I want to do do Patrice. And if the sex Gods want, maybe they will join in. In positions they never thought off. One riding me while one rides my face, the thought of it alone has Erica trying to convince her sibling it's enough to try once, we only live once. So lets do it and never talk about it.

...Then Patrice closes the door...

"You Have A Way With Words, I'll Give You That"

Preface: Now granted, I'm not the best blogger. And sometimes...I just might not state public opinion. But this is where I go to get out my dreams. My thoughts. I haven't done so consistently because in a nutshell..people watch. We call them people watchers. But honestly, I could care less anymore. I'm sure an ex or two, be it they remember the link, will come here from time to time and actually read the blog. So...I'm going to say what I want to say. In this post.

My past is just that. I've slept with a lot of women I don't speak to anymore. Used to put my pride in front of me and think "maybe they found better dick". I'm sure they did. I'm happy for them. I've had better bed partners myself. I wont down talk them, I'm no God to anyone. I have friends with some, associate with others. Not on the type of "Oh I'm still cool with them because they just might put my shit out there". I'm sure someone has talked about me in some bad way, that told a friend that told a friend. I can live with that. Cause honestly..I never cared. In the words of Michelangelo (lies) "I fucked though". A lot of things have racked my brain currently. Can you JUST be friends with someone you used to sleep with? What's really the job title of a friendship? Are your friends who they are for a reason? I say this because I've never put a woman before my friends. Then again I don't have many of those, and the ones I do know me better than I know myself. So if I dropped off the face of planet Earth today, at least at my funeral they could say "you know...Greg ain't never NOT been there for me." Granted..I'm a selfish individual. I like to get my way, and usually will duel to the death to make it that way. Its pretty much a curse because I'm usually put in the position to argue with the person on the opposite side of me. We know I hate arguments. I throw temper tantrums..Silently. I had to add that because I don't storm out of rooms and shit. I simply keep to myself. My Verizon bill should be changed the way I ignore phone calls thanks to me turning off the mobile. Shit..as we speak, I have everything off. Twitter, Face book, cell phone, text, everything. I'm trying to get a lot of things in perspective. Why you ask? [And this is where the blog really starts]

As of Thursday, there will only be 100 days left in the year. Let's make the most of it Greg.

Shit, you're telling me. What was my New Years resolution? Get over that "commitment-phobia" that Netta speaks of semi-annually. I've fucked up a lot in the past...10, 11 months. In December, would make one year since I fucked up with probably the coolest woman I've ever met. And she was great. I'm talking about everywhere, across all the boards. And I can honestly say...I fucked that up. She probably doesn't forgive me til' this day, I hope she does if she reads this, I'm sorry. Before I get off track..What were my resolutions, really.

• To be a better man: Sounds easy right? I promise you that shit is hard.
  
• To save money: Well...see what happened was..
• To write a blog daily: Trying, but my life at 23 don't have that many stories. If I were Tucker Max, 30 and writing about all the things of my past..it'd be different. I'm thinking about trying that out, by the way. That's why you really haven't heard much...

Now: My plan for 2011 is and was to quit drinking. But its necessary. I'm grown. I don't smoke, do coke, or pay for sex. I think I win at life, and should be granted a pass to try anything less than 100 proof. Even though on occasion it's okay to indulge in Rumple Minze. The last time I was "Q" drunk...Wait...let me backspace some so you know. "Q Drunk" is a different type of drunk. I'm speaking on being so drunk that you are driving on the side of the road with oncoming traffic drunk. Drunk that you try to talk down a price for a lap dance from a stripper. Drunk to the point you steal a street sign just to hang over your bed as a trophy. As to HOW that was done..is beyond me, but it's happened, twice. There's nothing like it. Thus me saying..the last time that happened...

Was last week. We went to the Caucus and didn't like it. Apparently I was thinking so much about "her" [yes, a woman, evidently], and her reluctance to actually entertain me as much as I entertain her [which has started to bore me. Not enough to explore my options, yet enough to keep my phone silent. I'm done with my old ways] that I started to drink. Heavily. It all started with a shot. Then a battle of shots. Then beers. Then a shot that tasted like coffee. Now when we drink we [my entourage] have a saying that goes: "if it taste like it has sugar in it, it's not a shot" and we're true to these words. Lemondrops aren't shit. We give those to women so they will in turn find a reason to smile at us as we drink the big boy shots. Back to the topic:

Apparently three beers and three shots in: We're pretty fucked up. Q is looking at his phone, manic-depressive like, talking to his lady. I looked at my phone long enough to notice I had 1200 Emails, a google talk message from a girl that I don't want to hear from, and no texts from her. So..I order another round. Pissed. "I'll be back, I'm going to the bathroom". Xavier, the "good shoulder" was talking to the bartender about what else...road trips and fornicating. Oh joy. As I go to the bathroom, I get a call. It's from one of my other boys: "Greg, we're you at, we're trying to buy drinks".

This usually sounds good...But typically when I get those texts...There's usually a CHANCE a bill is split SOMEWHERE...and there's a person who doesn't have cash [sometimes it's Q, but that's my boy, I can't fault him, I've been broke plenty of times]. So I told him I was already drunk and about to leave. I didn't lie..I was reaching drunk. That happy medium when you start walking around paying attention to everything. Have you ever been drunk to the point you look down at a woman's toes and realize they are chipped..Yeah, that type of drunk. Moving forward. We go to another bar: And drink. Now I walk out of this bar because it smelled like wet dog, and the bathroom had a condom machine that said "Look Ma, No Hands". I laughed for a second, until I dropped my drink in the urinal. Not cool. I got another.

[Who CLEANS urinals? Piss is gross. And Urinals are just as bad. Let me explain how a urinal works. You piss in them. And it splashes. Imagine some guy just pissing, and you're next in line. Nine times out of ten he didn't flush it...and even if there is a "splash pad", it will splash on YOU when you piss. The co-mingling of piss is never a good deal. Ever. ugh.]

So...We go outside. Q says "Greg, lets hit a black". Now...only time I've smoked is around her. But she's pissed me off, so I said fuck it, and com mist to light one. But I did take her words and think about them. "Baby, Blacks only RAISE your drunkenness.". And that it did. I felt like Lafayette on True Blood seeing witchcraft after getting midway through it. I had consumed about 9 shots, 4 beers, and a long island. And it was only 12:10. I didn't come straight from work to stop now. Needless to say I drunk more. At the hookah spot. Clouds of smoke, alcohol, water bottles, and a fully charged cell phone. What's a man to do..? Enjoy. So I did. Lets just say I woke up Saturday morning feeling like I had been stomped out by Little League kids with all their gear on. Shits not a good feeling. Like that night I drunk wine, smoked blacks, and drunk Four Lokos with her. That night ended funny. Well no it didn't but still.

I have 100 days to try to make 2010 better than the other 260 that were iffy. How? By reflecting. I already know people aren't wearing white again until next May, so I don't have to worry about that being any one's true colors. But at least their hues better glow. I'm sick and tired of the bullshit. I want consistency. The last time I had that was shit...when was that? What better time to start than now. Lets go. 2011, you're in my vision. I'm going to make you better.

Until.

Greg

The Interlude; But Not Bria's.

It's funny. We're always looking for Mr & Mrs. Right be it they might be "right for the moment", or "right then", but you never know what it could be. I've been fortunate to have a lot of good women in my life. Friends, exes, enemies, yes even them. I've been blessed. Even my poor decisions had a good result (most of the time, I tried to be optimistic). But one thing I looked at from Ms. Upscale was...the shit finds you. I used to be pressed to be in a situation, mainly because I felt I had something to prove. Always had couples surrounding me, and being on these social networks, it kind of gives you insight of what to expect from others when it's your turn to be happy.

I've been an asshole to the point where I've thought shit had to go my way in order to strategically work better. Dee has called me out numerous times saying "you can't be alone, but you can't be single", so I've kept a woman, just because. But recently things have just been..different. I wont speak much but I know I have someone who cares and is down for me, that's a pretty damn high claim. Now.. queue from "Until I Get Married". just because I'm content now, doesn't dictate that changing in the future. Things and situations happen. And I don't get to decide, but rather make it work.

Relationships work. They don't have decisions. Arguments happen, and you can't do nothing but make shit work. You gotta feel me on this one. You know those cliche ass Taye Diggs movies, or shit, any Black Cinema, where typically either Sanaa Lathan, Vivica A. Fox, or Gabrielle Union plays the lead black woman where theres love, hurt, turmoil, the turning point, and then ultimately the climax that ends good? I'm trying to have one of those moments. One of those "Love Joneses" moments. One of those ""play for your heart" type moments. Sound corny as hell right? That's the truth though.

You never know the things you have until you don't have them in your possession, and sometimes you have to give up plenty in order to get them. I love seeing my friends and associates happy, but its bout time I can say the same things. Shit wont be easy..at all. Need work. As I sit here...drinking my Lipton Brisk, trying to check for grammatical errors in efforts to make myself "look like I type perfect" (I don't), you got to understand one thing...this my life, I'm no gossip blogger. This is my life. And you should be in it. For good.

Enjoy what's to come, Expect less of what's behind you.

Are you ready?

-G

The Soundtrack For Arched Backs.

If you're Like me....You like to have sex. I hope you do. It's human nature. Safely though. Practice it. However: These are a list, unrevised, of songs, Old and new, that I've compiled for you to make a playlist on your Ipod or whatever for the extended weekend, you and your lady, to get it in to. This one's for the lovers:::

Usher- That's What It's Made For
Drake- Find Your Love
T-pain - put it down
2pac - temptations
R. kelly - the greatest sex
R. kelly - strip for you
Avant - read your mind
Common - come close
Ginuwine - differences
Tamia - so into you
R. kelly - seems like ya ready
Janet jackson - anytime, anyplace
Silk - freak me
Tyrese - signs of love makin
Tyrese- One
Tyrese- On Top of Me*********
Jodeci - freak n you
Chris brown - take you down
The dream - falsetto
The dream - purple kisses
112 - anywhere
Jon b - pretty girl
Joe - all the things your man wont do
Joe - no one else comes close
Ginuwine - pony
Ludacris - woozy
Ludacris - Splash Waterfalls
Twista - get it wet
Lauren hill - sweetest thing
Usher - twork it out
Jamie Foxx- Do What It Do
Nivea Feat. R.Kelly- Touchin
Omarion- O
T-Pain -Studio Love
TLC- Red Light Special
Pretty Willie- Lay Your Body Down
Michelle'- Something In My Heart
Janet Jackson- Warmth
Justin Timberlake- Until the End of Time
Mint Condition- Pretty Brown Eyes
Lloyd- Feels So Right
Lloyd- Cadillac Love
Floetry- Getting Late
Mariah- Joy Ride
R.Kelly- The Greatest Sex
Sons of Funk- Pushin' Inside of You
Craig Davis- Personal
Craig David- Take Em Off
Trey Songz - role play
Trey Songz - we should be
The Dream- Fancy
Ne-yo- Mirror
Chris Brown- Sex

J. Holiday- Bed
Trey Songz- On Top
Chris Brown- Take My Time
Teedra Moses- Backstroke
Trey- Jupiter Love
Isley Brothers- Between The Sheets
India Arie- Ready for Love
Sade- No Ordinary Love
Jamie Foxx- Slow
Jill Scott- Crown Royal
R.Kelly- Honey Love
Joe- Somebodys Gotta Be On Top
Drake- Brand New
ove Scene - Joe
Feelin' On Yo Booty- R Kelly
15 Mintues - Mario
We Should Be- Trey Songz

Butta Love- Next
Take You Down- Chris Brown
Number One (Sex)- R Kelly ft Keri Hilson
Leave It All Up To You- Pretty Ricky
Turn Me On- Cocorosie
Sex Me- R Kelly
Trading Places - Usher
Sex With You- Marques Houston
So Anxious- Ginuwine
Wey You- Chante Moore
Sexy Love- Ne-Yo
Bump N Grind- R Kelly
The Sweetest Love- Robin Thicke
Sexy Can I- Ray J
Honey- Erykah Badu

Love Scene - Janet Jackson
Make It Last Forever- Keith Sweat
These Are The Times- Dry Hill
Let's Get Lifted Again- John Legend
Slow Jams- Usher
Takes Time To Love - Trey Songz
Wait For You Forever - Mishon
Love Music - Chris Brown
My Boo - Usher
Stuttering - Mario

Before and After - Corey Williams
Touch My Hand - David Archuleta
Yours To Hold - Skillet
For You To Notice - Dashboard Confessionals
Calling You - Blue October
Till (Your Legs Start Shakin')- Sleepy Brown
Between The Sheets- The Isley Brothers
These Are The Times- Dru Hill
Love You Gently- Usher
Slow- Jamie Foxx
Freakin' Me- Jamie Foxx
In My Veins- Jesse McCartney
Makin' Good Love- Avant
15 mintues- Mario
Butta Love- Next
Take You Down- Chris Brown
We Should Be- Trey Songz
None of Your Friends Business- Ginuwine
Say Yes- Lil Corey
Slow Jamz- Usher
Birthday Sex- Jeremih
Love You Gently- Usher
Slow- Jamie Foxx
In My Veins- Jesse McCartney
Makin' Good Love- Avant
None of Your Friends Business- Ginuwine
Say Yes- Lil Corey
Let's Get Married- Jagged Edge
Feel the Same Way I Do- Destiny's Child
Put A Little Umph In It- Jagged Edge
Freakin' Me- Jamie Foxx
You- Lloyd
Angel- Amanda Perez
Tear It Up- Young Jeezy
Stay- Pretty Ricky
Anytime, Any Place - Janet Jackson
Leave It All Up To You- Pretty Ricky
Nasty Song- Lil Ru
Jodeci - Freakin' You
Trina & Plies- I Gotta Problem
50 Candles- Boyz II Men
Lingerie- Pleasure P
Let It Flow- Toni Braxton
Red Light Special- TLC
I Belong To You- Rome
Honey Love- R Kelly
Lay Down- Shiro
You- Athena Cage
First You Said- Assorted Flavors
Love Won't Let Me Wait - Major Harris
Make it Last Forever- Nobody
Put Your Loving Through the Test- Keith Sweat
What's Your Fantasy - Ludacris
They Don't Know- Jon B
He Can't Love You- Jagged Edge
Tell Me- Bobby Valentino
Chrisette Michele - If I Have My Way