Oh My Lord what a weekend...

Monday, September 29, 2008 0 comments
TODAY is a LONG post. Read slow. its a LOT.

I'mma start off fast. I'm sitting here just thinking about it in route to work. Why in the hell Sarah Palin daughter get pregnant, and it’s like they get PRAISED for it, meanwhile, a couple months back, when they found out that Brittney Spears sister was pregnant, seemed like everyone was catching feelings about the whole situation. Almost like she was convicted. I swear white people get away with more bullshit than a little bit. I love them to death, but some shit just don't fly. I'm sitting here reading the paper, and I find out that Miley Cirus (15) is dating some 20 year old dude. What?!? Man I was 18 and couldn't even date a 17 year old. That's statutory if you have brown skin. And I'm not to jail savvy so I had to 'let her gooooooo' (in Keyshia Cole voice)

So, bout this weekend. We STILL celebrating Dee's birthday.

For the next three weeks, we are getting down .so Friday we hit up Hawk. Man... Joint was packed. Wasn't nothing like last Friday. This was the first time BOTH floors were packed. Shoutout to everybody who came out. Maria, Ashley, Tiara, Morgan, Morgan friend (still stuck right now, sorry), Jose, John, Amy, and Jackie! It was a nice little party. Even though I didn't get zooted, everybody else partied.

"Fuck that...I partays!' (Matt know, they know)

Dee outshined the white girls from GW by dancing on two tables. Picture that. She was zooted. Lol. Then after the party...off to IHOP we go. And man... Funny shit.

-IM NOT ETHIOPIAN @ Maria! Albino ass!

But basically all the ladies got hit on by these two Spanish cats. Offered to buy them drinks and all. So who am I to hate. I found the shit to be hilarious that they were trying to flirt in Spanish. I took four years of the shit in high school, so I have common knowledge of some conjugates. So they flirting, and Ashley (her ass), talking back with then (intro Spanish, how are you, Como estas, convo). So they get their drinks, yet we STILL waiting on our food.

Then...the niggers show up. Laughing and giggling and talking shit about each other. So one dude sees Dee has her shoes off while she's eating, and says the most random shit I heard the whole night. 'Ugh, roaches and rats crawl on these floors!'. GREAT nigger, make me question the cleanliness of my French toast fuckfart.

Random thought: I look damn good today. If I were a female with Lauren London potential, I'd fuck me on my desk, and then quit my job.

But anyway....Saturday. Whew, interesting night to say the least. So I won't say much about it. The people that were there know the whole situation, there's no need to ponder. Just a lot of miscommunications really. It was nice to see both of Dee's friends come out. I was surprised as shit when she said she was married. Lol. Whole time in my head was

'Cause you look so gooooooooodddd, tell me why you wanna work here'.
Lmao. Don't really match the thought, but you know I'm not all there anyway.

After we went to Galaxy (Shout out to Tyrone who never showed up at Galaxy, I called you back too man, no answer, Happy Birthday though), we went to Adams Morgan. Started off at Tom Toms, but between the abundance of white people who popped X Pills (exhibit A: Homeboy in the parking lot asking everybody to rub his back), or the roof leaking, I was ready to try another spot. So we went over to Heaven and Hell. Funny spot, because it reminds me of the dance spot in Fort Lauderdale. Hole in the wall, three floors, and particular bartenders. Ashley and Dee went and got their drink on. My voice was getting raspy as shit from drinking that Truth Serum from earlier. (Dee, I think that’s the drink that did it all. Because Im at work now sounding like Rick Ross. Bawwwwse!) Maria stayed in the cut, because both me and her were hungry as shit, and I was actually craving Ben’s Chilli Bowl just like she was.

Most of the rest of the weekend was exclusive, so if you weren’t there, no reason to explain.
Also, now situations have changed since I’ve been considered a “flirt” (thanks Dee and Ashley), so I gotta make some changes in that aspect. Obviously when you hear it from more than one person the shit must be true. But then again, Millions of people know R.Kelly is guilty, but he’s out here spray painting his hair gold, and walking around with some “good good lemonade.” Fag.

Winter 08 is coming sooner than later, which only means one thing. I get to shop for the summer. I already have my pea coat (last piece of the puzzle I needed). I know I gotta get myself a new pair of jet black jeans. That’s one thing I KNOW I’m missing. Also, I have to rack up on my “pattern pants”. The Valentino’s I saw were like $595, but it was a solid black and white plaid, so I won’t be getting. H&M got some for $60, so I might get with that.

Friend of mine this morning is mad as shit, asking for my advice (female). Basically she’s smart at the mouth, and she said something to her boyfriend along of the lines of “Well see, you keep fucking around, and I’mma be up under someone else”


As a result, she had to pick herself up off the floor. I told her that’s exactly what she gets. You don’t go ahead and talk shit to no man like that. No your fucking place. I’m being devils advocate, I KNOW he was wrong for hitting her. But she has a habit of talking reckless, and she hits him as well. I personally don’t hit women after seeing my share of abusive relationships. But yeah... ATTENTION FELLAS: If you have a good female, treat her right. YET… If you have that bitch that don’t know when to shut her trapper... Jab her. ONE good time. It doesn’t even have to be hard. Just enough to let her know the severity of the next one. If you cant see yourself punching her. Push her out of a moving car or something. Sure, she might do some dumb shit like get her father, or brothers. But fuck that. Hit them too. If you are a good man, and you know it, clap your hands. Meanwhile, some women, regardless if the guy is good or bad… they have a hood rat complex (like my friend), where shes all finger snaps, and eye rolls. Calling you out your name, “fuck your mother, and fuck you” type bitches. THEM… Hit they ass. She should’ve been raised with more respect that that. It starts in the household, so since she wants to act like billy bad ass… hit her father while you’re at it.

So to the females that are like “Oh nah, you better not hit me”… Why not? You want to be petty, why cant he? That’s the main key factor in relationships. ONE person gets out of pocket and changes their character, showing their true colors. So when you get that bitch that wants to run her mouth, gossip, and whatnot… approach her about it. But once she starts doing that burning clothes, cheating and sneaking around... shake that bitch. Slap her with a swift closed fist. Now, ALL women aren’t like this... But ALL of you ladies have that ONE friend that needs that kick in the ass. If I were President... them birch canues could get slapped, and the man wouldn’t be locked up.

Now… you NIGGERS. Dudes. Wholetime if you got a good female... Stop going for these MIXED breed ass bitches. That’s like Jay-Z cheating on Beyonce with Fantasia. Shit just won’t happen. But niggas do this shit. I been there, done that. So dudes, when you get caught cheating… Expect the same courtesy. Ladies... jab that nigga. When he’s wrong, show him. Stop the boo-who tears, calling your girlfriends. Because 9 times out of 10… your girlfriends would fuck your man before he went to cheat with a random. Just like I know there’s some dudes that wouldn’t mind fucking their friends girl. Cause shit… If I was Reggie Bush’s brother... I’d get Reggie Bush drunk off his ass until he pass out, and then I’d go and insert myself in Kim Kardashian. Now THAT’S a bad bitch. Because wholetime, girl that I was talking to in Middle School got G’ed by my boys. And I was on the couch. I wasn’t tripping. I was stunned, but once I saw she couldn’t fuck worth a damn, I gave up hope. Scenario:

I was out on the couch over at Corey house, I wanna say Musonda was there with me (don’t remember). But I fell asleep watching The Box (was still out at the time), and that 112 song with Biggie had JUST came out. So they kept playing it. I dozed off and was on the couch while everybody else was playing N64 (Nintendo 64 for the slowpokes). I think Goldeneye was hot around this time. Therasak and Robbie know about it). So I wake up… I hear moaning. (Felt like T-Pain in the “My Girl got a girlfriend” song). So I go in the room... I see youngin sucking a dick while getting dogged from the back. She tried to jump up like “oh Greg, I aint even know you were woke”... Bitch is you on your meds?

So I gently said “get back to work, I’mma bout to roll”. Wholetime… fist balled up as shit. Feelings were hurt until I walked outside and she come to the door like “I know you aint mad! We aint dating.” Bitch. I wanna high five them for all running a train on your ass. “Get up; get out, aint thinking about you (neyo voice). So funny shit was I seen her a year ago… two kids, acne face, talking about “Hey! It’s been so long”. “Remember me from school? Hell no you get no love looking ass bitch”.
Anyway... that’s enough for the day… tomorrow... I’ll have more to say.


Off topic: This Bobby Valentino- Turn The Page song cranks something FIERCE

Approches & Reactions: AY YO SWEETHEART! COME HERE MA! 09.26

Friday, September 26, 2008 0 comments
Ay sweetheart! Ay girl with the leggings on, come here girl!

*she mugs on him, continues to walk on*

Well fuck you then bitch, you aint what's hot on the streets noway.

Some shit I seen last night, and I'm kind of curious, do you niggas KNOW how to approach a female anymore? I been living 21 years, and I've seen a girl been called everything from her clothing, to sweetheart, darling, boo, lady, miss, whatever. How bout y'all go head and approach with YOUR name? That way you don't look like a fucking retard by getting her info without disclosing yours?

'Ay, I'm Greg (last name), nice to meet you, what's your name, blah blah.'

Start off on a 100, don't give yourself 0 when you just at the beginning, ye dig? Now, let's speak on these approaches. I had to get that out the way. Females at the bar and club. I party.....fuck that, I partays. Anyone you know that know me will tell you this. When there's a cup in my hand, conversation minimal. Take heed, and leave. I don't bother you when you freaking these random ass hornball niggas, don't bother me while I'm in the cut like neosporin.

On the other hand... Niggas... At the club (couple of y'all my mans and shit, and I told y'all bout this shit *cough* Ho-say... Stop following these bitches in the club. You giving these broads egos and shit. Especially if she a regular jaint. I've seen too many niggas show they have NO standards, by walking up on a jaint that look like the Cryptkeeper. Aint no pussy that good enough to hit shenehneh's twin. No buhlshit. Sure...the pussy is fantastic. And everybody done caught some action from a joint that wasn't a '10'... But she gotta at least be a 7. And an 8 on the weekends. Imagine if she get pregnant. That's forever. Forever ever? Fo-eva eva.

And to you ladies. Bew bew.... Being a regular at a nightclub is cool, but wholetime.... You aint no celebrity. We see you. We saw you. Now we're beyond. Stop sneaking into people VIP rooms trying to grab bottles. You mad cause Plies wasn't there last weekend? Hahahhahahahahaha. Bitch, you busted...baby. That nigga don't want you toots. I'm sorta glad its cold outside now, because all them short ass dresses getting put in the summer pile. You gotta really dress now. Slacks and pants outfits.

I've noticed the amount of relationship changes on facebook too. My status I made on Labor Day correct. *singing 'sick of being lonely' in head*. Guess even LL needed love too.

But....back to this whole shebang about approaches, since I went totally left field. Ladies, a man approach you, tell him you have a man off the top. I'll admit, I was tested before. I SAW the ring on her finger. I was like 'okay.. I'll respect that, but she's gorgeous, fuck that'. So mind you I'm like 'I like your ring, that joint mean. Whens the date?'. She's like 'oh, its open ended, we don't know specifically.....'

What you say? Now mind you, I know the difference between a female who's really ENGAGED, and a girl that's only been a relationship for 8 months, and THINKS she'll marry the dude. So I'm sitting there staring at the ring like 'man...I KNOW I seen this joint somewhere before.' So I'm at Target.... Why the fuck the same ring, silver band, cubic zirconia. She bought it herself. Ha! Women are buying themselves rings in 2008? No fuego.

Its friday, so I got a LOT to say.

1st----Spanish people... I love y'all to death. Don't get mad at me, but seriously though. Send out a PSA and tell your lady friends that just cause you fucked a black dude, your kids won't come out cute. I'm on the bus this morning....why the fuck is the little mixed baby got dreads? Last time I checked, hispanic people had good stringy hair. Why would you fuck your childs hair up. Its already fucked up little Tre' (baby name...scared me too) is like 6 years old, still got a bottle but come on.

2nd- if your car aint equipped for the stereo system... Stop blasting your music. Real talk. Don't blast that young Jeezy cd, and all we hear is bass and every other word. The shit sound like TCB playing at a hearing aid convention. No fuego.

3rd- white women. Ass pads and water bras. Stop. I let Jessica Simpson get away with this shit. But quit. I love to see a white woman with ass (Westley Snipes is my Goddaddy)... But wholetime, if you aint got an ass, don't pretend to be. I've peeped y'all strategy baby.

4th- Why do people get so happy when they hear a rapper say 'dc' or 'gogo' in a song? Seen many-a-nigger wig out off this shit! 'Aww man, you heard Jeezy say 'gogo!'. You'd think you just heard Lauren London (hey bew bew) say she was giving someone name Greg some cutty. Yaowww!

5th-- Facebook status of the week (HAD to share this shit):
'You may have sucked his dick, but you just ate my pussy'

SCENARIO: obviously homeboy cheated on his girl by getting the skull from a random. His girl found out and broadcasting. Still the funniest shit I've heard all week

OH--- Downloads.

Jennifer Hudson Cd

Robin Thicke- Something Else

Attention: If you think your shit dont stink!

Thursday, September 25, 2008 0 comments
Before I start... Excuse my terminology, and my use of the word "bitches". If you feel im talking about you... It must be relative. This is part one of my rant for the day. Its NOT aimed at anyone, so dont take it like that. Aint no names being called, just a random thought. So once again, if you hate the term bitch., aint my fault after this sentence. Comprende? Fuego.

You know for a long time this has been burning me. But it kinda boiled over today. How is it that females can talk shit about another bitch having a stinkin pussy when there shit stinks as well. Like I make it pretty obvious before i mess with a bitch how i feel about a stinkin pussy. Im on some straight up "you wanna take a shower before we fuck" and on several occasions the bitch be talking shit how her shit is clean and what not. But as proven before its not smelling to good. It doesnt matter the type of chic. It could be the flava of the flavas or the wackest of the saturday night Club Fur jump offs (never had one.. but dont read into it..) WTF is up with that? Dont butches have any shame? Can they not smell their own shit? Some chicks feel most niggas wont care when we actually do... Somebody needs to clue me in. The fuck is up wit that. I make sure my sack isn't funky if I'm gonna get ass. I expect the same courtesy. You out here smelling like you done played at FedEx field on a sunday or something.

Now you might be like... "well she might not know". My mother always told me, if you can whiff your own essense, then you need to bathe. Point blank period. Its gotta be a pride thing i guess, if u tell a female her box stinks, pride is gonna say hell no my shit is clean fuck you nigga,l ol i guess it all depends on how yuu go about telling her, maybe before yall fuck yall both should take a shower , just to get that doubt out of the way. Meanwhile, you know what you came for. You knew if you were going out that night, to bathe. I'm going to start handing out douches and soap in ziplock bags.

I asked a friend of mine, and she said... "Greg, "you think that after you brush your teeth and eat breakfast..your breathe is gonna be fresh? Just think about it like that.. "

FUCK that. Its called common sense no dude gonna expect shorty pussy to smell linen fresh if you just had the only work out session at the gym... but if yall go out to chill which isnt much in activity to get that shit all sweaty it shouldnt be an issue. and not all girls going to need that shower before fucking .. some girls if they take good care of themselves have that pussy that's like it was blessed with fabreeze or at least they bring some freshing shit with them . I KNOW.. I've seen the shit at CVS for 4.99 in the sunday paper.

So she retaliated..."You ever had a girl right after yah have sex... she will put her panties back up and not bother going to the bathroom and clean herself right quick?"

Yeah, I have.. but thats AFTER we hunched. And we both showered before. Aint like we played full court basketball. We bumped uglies by then. HELLO! Pussy aint supposed to smell like Victoria Secret came out with a raccoon scent. So as far as I'm concerned.. If I had to choose between having sex with a clean person, or somebody with bad hygiene..fuck all that ill stay a no pussy gettin nigga then. Cause im not gonna be giving you back shots wondering if and animal died or did you wipe ur ass properly

Norforms + Baby Whipes = progress.

And you know what I say?

Once again, Desperate niggas have ruined it for us.

Women are under this impression, that men will be so anxious to just GET the pussy, that we'll forget ALL about what it looks/smells like.


We have to take a stand. I dont care HOW fly you are or HOW far into it we are, if you're shit dont look or smell right

Anyone who can read this....LETS TAKE A STAND!

So.. you going through your S/O Facebook or Phone= NO GOOD!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 0 comments

Your man or lady goes out of the room.. and the phone rings. *briinnggg* New text message. You pick it up out of curiosity... and you see...


Are you going to callt he joint back, or confront them?

Matter fact... WHY your nosey ass going through shit anyway?

Are you going through people phones? My reaction...

Yeah... You can touch my phone if you want to....pay the fucking bill. Fuck is up with nosey ass people going through the phone trying to see if dirt is being dug? Bitch you aint got 5 on this! I been dealing with this for a nice lil while now, figured I'd go ahead and speak on it. People of the opposite sex going through your shit to find shit.

'What you don't know won't hurt you'

It’s the truth babes. I had a girl literally wait until I walked out the room to log into my facebook a couple weeks ago. (Forgot to mention the shit). So she got mad when she seen messages flying back and forward with other people. Let's get this mutual understanding right now. Until my status say 'in a relationship to (hopefully Lauren London)... Then keep your fucking hands to yourself. That shit urks the shit out me. Whole time if you offer to pay the bill... Go right ahead and get to it.

Fact of the matter is I hide NOTHING well. Yes I get little nasty text messages. What's wrong with that? Sometimes while I'm at work, I like getting that text message from somebody saying...

'I'm trying to get pretzeled tonight, Mr. Aye'.

So you mad that you seen that? Play your positions and get more serious. Don't go trying to hack my facebook or MySpace, adding my friends and shit, writing on my wall after another female with that 'umm...yeah' shit after you seen what she said. Don't confuse internet with reality. I told a fat chick at a stop light yesterday that I wanted to bend her over my knee and beat her like a neglected stepchild. I say a LOT of shit I don't intend on doing. Just this morning I said 'I'm going to find me a Hispanic woman to I can hear all that 'el papi grande pantalones' shit in the bedroom. Don't necessarily mean I'm going to go on the hunt for a Latina. No fuego.

A girl I know said this:

Quote: “actin up, he just doing him. . . I check his phone, I'm a nosey ass bytch and I found what I deserved/was looking for. . .

I get a text from some nigga who number ain't even saved, and I'm a skank. . . u go through my phone and you just doing what you gotta do to find out if I'm a skank. dumb shyt. . .

its 2008 and it's all about equality and not getting done wrong. So when I go through yours, don't look @ me sideways. the man with nothing to hide hides nothing. I left my phone knowing damn well u gonna go through it.”

You have the right to check my phone when you say "baby, I’mma pay Verizon this month"

Until then... you touch my phone, i'm tapping your chin.

Couple months ago... girl called herself being sneaky and shit. My phone has a timeout on it so basically you gotta put a password in on it. And it counts how many times you tried.

So I walk out the room, come back... the phone light was on, about to go dim. OBVIOUS

Check the joint, she tried 19 times. And the combinations she put in... I SWEAR... She thought I was bill bellamy off How to be a player.

Why would my cell phone passwords be

My Birthday, bitches, pussy, or YOUR name? Bitch is you on the banana boat?

Friend of mine told me a way to avoid people trying to dig your passcodes and shit (especially voicemail…)

Quote: “yea the way I pick my passwords are...take a 4 letter word
then look at the phone an see what #'s they are, an that’s my password
learned my lesson the hard way NEVER make ur pw a bday, address, football # or anything like that “

Anyway... I have a couple pet peeves I need to speak on.

-People with these chubby ass babies. Let they little bad ass walk. No three year old should still be getting picked up when their legs get tired. Tell them they better wobble they plump ass down the sidewalk.

- Niggers mugging when you look at their girl in public....nigga. We know she's a bad bitch. That's why we looking. You made because we find her sexy? What type shit is that? I can see if I said 'ay...is he your man? Cause I'm trying to hunch that donkey'. I hate that shit.

- Slow ass dc tourists- look here bitch. Metro aint for you to bring your family and crowd the train talking and giggling and shit. Its 830 in the morning. I don't wanna hear about the newseum. Shut your wamma ass up.

I’m sure... But that’s IT for the day...

Greg, How was your weekend? Man.....

Monday, September 22, 2008 0 comments
Well damn. Monday... yet again. Alright.. Lets get right into it. This weekend... A weekend of.. adventure to say the least. I think I possibly seen it all. I'll jump in and out of topics quick, so catch up. No mustard. Friday night. Got off work anxious as shit to catch a drink. Was like "fuck yes, im bound to get down!" So around like 530... I have my plans set. Ria' and Shawn said they were down to go out.. so thats two. Then I called Ho (Jose)...thats three. Me makes it even. Then VHS (inside name) shows as well. Five in the bag. Amy last, tell me shes coming. So we all are there partying. Actually a good thing. I guess its true that you can actually go head and have fun at white spots. (shows that even your white friends can make an evening out of anything, you hear me? So I get to party a little bit for the night, hit the soulja boy.. (killed it, as usual.. ask about me). Then I actually got my butt grabbed by some random ass white chick. She turned to me grinning.. I was like "umm, baby girl.. watch it". Im already irritated because someone got off work late *cough* and couldnt find the location of the spot we were in... *ahemmmm..*

When she did get there, my tab was already piling because I bought Morgan and Jose joints along with my own. (who says black people cant keep an open tab, right?). Had fun for the evening, so we left, and I rode with "loverfriend" (people apart of the situation know what it was) back to my house, and had VHS and Jose stay over as well since everybody was basically zooted for the evening.Get all the way to the house... this nigger forgets his credit card at the bar. Kind of funny because my night was blown like shit as a result of some bitchassness going on. I'll put it like this... Dont force your sex on people under the influence, understood? Fuego. Now... Everything was great, perfect. I'm laying there, relaxing, had great company in my presense, movies on, buzz is circulating in my brain.. So I look over to loverfriend, she look back, soon as something remotely close to sexytime happens.. whiplash. Jose done fucked up. I look over, VHS is whispering "GREG! Save me!". So i do, I tell Captain Loverboy to but the breaks on his drive for coochie for the evening. Especially since Its 4am, and I'm drinking my green tea, trying to relax.

But NO. He is persistent. as SHIT. Seemed like everytime I closed my eyes, I hear these two (or one, since he had the habit of doing majority of the freak shit) going smack at it. So i get a good THREE... 3.... TRES minutes of sleep in... before I hear.."SPLAT" (Him slapping VHS' ass). So im blown as SHIT because loverfriend was sitting there, enjoying all the fucking sleep, yeat I cant even get a snore in, because this motherfucker is trying to get some cutty on my basement floor, from one of MY friends that I introduced him to off jump street. Now... I wont knock him for trying, but wholetime, he was aggressive about the situation. I'm like "nigga.. come on man, cut it or be quiet". (This is also my SECOND warning to him). I cant tell you how many times SHE said no to him, because I dont have enough body limps to count them on myself for a tally. But basically he got mad a couple times because she wasnt trying to give him the ass. So hes going off some "well i'mma just go head and leave, I gotta work in the morning" shit. Nigger... come on man. Lay your clammy ass up. So he lay his ass next to her, I put on "Paper Soldiers", and lay the fuck on down.

So I finally muster up the ability to lay down and get some sleep. Its 5:20 last time I check. So I got a good two hours in...Then... the bullshit starts again. 7:15 on the DOT.... motherfucking phone alarm goes off. So me being the one to wake up angry.. I'm like.. "Arrrrrrrgh, who the fuck young!".. I'm going around looking for clock radios and shit to stomp on, didnt see any. I'm looking at me and loverfriend phones, they aint glowing. VHS joint is dead, so I knew it wasnt hers... So it HAD to be Ho-say joint. But i cant find his joint to turn it off. So i'm dropkicking & elbowing this nigga like "bitch nigga turn that shit off! Fuck is your malfunction?" So hes wake up, turn it off. Great. I return back to the bed and shit, close my eyes. A good 15 minutes later... the motherfucker goes off again! >>TURN THE MOTHERFUCKING SNOOZE OFF!<< Damn you dumb ass. So im falling in and out of sleep. Loverfriend had to get up go to work and shi.t (loverfriend is just a friend, we aint fucking) So I took her to the door, walk downstairs, and Ho-Say got VHS bundled up.. yet AGAIN. I go lay back down.. he's getting ready to go to work. Walk HIM to the door, dap him up and shit. He get in the car, pull off. I go take a piss since I know I cant sleep nomore now... I go downstairs... VHS woke now... Like "Greg! My purse and my shoes are in his CARRRRRRRRRR" (yes.. she was THAT zooted to leave her shoes and purse in the car.

So whole day im chilling with her until ho-say comes to bring her her stuff back, so she can be get dressed to be dropped back off. After I get back to an empty house, I rest for a good like two hours before I get a call like "Ay greg... tonight.. we getting FUCKED UP" from Jason. Umm.. nah, no we arent. Greg's tab last night was 47.00 and I only had two drinks. What that tell you? Basically I was looking to just chill for the night. So I get on facebook (typical shit).. and start looking at my 160+ online friends (its always above like 70 friends online somehow..)I dont think people get off the computer for facebook. Shit.. I at least have facebook on my blackberry for "on the go" shit. So i'm looking at statuses like "Im the baddest bitch, and me and my clique are the shit. LOVE tonight ladies!" I hate statuses like this. Its 3pm Eastern time. tell us at 930 when we care.

Basically I tell Ria off the strength of the BB Messenger that we need to hang out, so we do. Most fun I had in a while. Walked about in the city, just caught up and whatnot.. UNTIL... we drove past Gallery Place. I swear... Skinny leg jeans, and hoodrats galor. YOUNG hoodrats at that. Bad combination. So we at the light.. all of a sudden you see a good, what.... 300, 400 niggers.. yes... NIGGERS... RUNNING. Thought it was the LA Riots or something. Supposidly someone was fighting (probably them stunting ass kids), and obviously DC Police took the opportunity to beat on anybody running. (guess theres not enough crime int he city.. Copy that... 10:4) Now...I've seen a couple fights pop off down there... but last night... mannnn.. Swear look like a dread marathon in the city, no bullshit. We didnt stay down there so we drove around the city or what not, went to DNbusters... where she whipped up on me in Basketball. (fo course the game I was on was broken, but I'll take an L for the sake of letting her win). Then I get a text from Jackie saying they were hitting up the bar we had just left from, and were going back to after Dave N Busters. And me and Ria had a nice interesting conversation while they played pool. lol. Lot of inside things going on so I couldnt speak on it.

Sunday... pretty much nothing. My Cards lost to the Redskins. Congratulations, I cant really hate on them for winning. Nice way to use the clock to their advantage. If only they could do that all season, they'd win Super Bowls.... Guess they better prepare for Dallas and Philly...

Anyway.. I would have more to say.... But that sounds just about right for me for the day. Enjoy.

Young...I just had the laugh of my LIFE just a minute ago... This some random clip I just watched.. Its NOT safe for work.. so dont click it if you think you'll get in trouble.(TURN your volume DOWN!)


Masturbation stops you from being satisfied by ur partner?

Friday, September 19, 2008 1 comments
Iono...its Friday, and I got some personal shit going on family wise that got my brain going in a good four, five different directions. So pardon the bluntness of this joint. I had a dream this morning that I went back to my elementary school for some strange reason. And all the nice teachers retired, but those evil ass motherfuckers were still there. Sound likes a typical dream for me. But I know for a fact my 6th grade teacher got to be like 67 years old.

Anyway, I had a status up yesterday that went on the lines of 'if you masturbate too much, you won't be able to be satisfied by your partner'. I guess that's why every time I have sex, it last 43+ minutes. I can't remember the last quickie that didn't last longer than your favorite TV show. Maybe I just fuck real patient. Sometimes I have to force it by fucking the person like I hate them (aggressive thumping)....but yeah, that's beside the point. I don't see anything wrong with masturbating. I produce nut every 34 seconds. My lower region is a little sweatshop of sorts (bad analogy but still). I personally don't think masturbating to porn or whatever is the cause for lost sex drive. Only time I lose sex drive, is when a woman’s sex is dry outright boring. Sure, I love hitting it from the back, but that shit get boring after awhile. Wrap your leg around your shoulders or something, try something new.

Next girl I get, if she got a problem with porn, its going to be interesting watching me give her business. Because 9/10ths of the shit I learn is from the wild ass flicks in my collection. Imagine how frustrated you get when you don't let one off. Shit...I tried to go a week without doing it... Man I swear, I was evil. I couldn't put my hands in my pocket as a result. I would randomly have a witty or smartass remark for everything said. I kirked on Jose' when he was like 'I'm bout to go over youngin house and give her the business'. I said something along the lines of... 'I know you aint getting it, I hope you don't get it, I pray you don't'. Yes, I'm a hater when everybody else fucking and I'm in the cut just spectating.

That's why I couldn't stay in dorms at college. Man, can you imagine all the pussy getting vaginalized? On a venture to Marymount a couple weeks ago to visit a partner of mine... We sitting there getting ready to leave out for Clarendon B., and this nigga partner in the room beside us.... Fucking some random joint. We knew it wasn't his younging because she goes to school in another state. (Oops.) So like 3 minutes later (didn't last that long, because we play Madden in 8 minute quarters, and clock said 4:37 left. So I'm sitting here like 'no this nigga DIDN'T get the opportunity of a lifetime, and just royally last shorter than a music video.

So me.... The asshole of the group was like 'man.... This gotta be the ugliest, phattest bitch this side of the western hemisphere. So we just laughing it up, and eventually they come out the room for her to leave. (No shower, no wash up, nada...) But she came out.... Bad as shit. And I know you aint supposed to fuck joints your friends fucked but... His shit doesn’t count. He teased her. Anywho, she walks out the room, head down because she was like 'aww man, his boys out here'...

But me... I was like 'I know baby, don't be ashamed, I would've tickled your belly button from the inside.' She started chuckling, and this light skinned nigga is like 'Greg, come on dog, I gotta take her home'... Fuck that. You trying to tell me her ass (which ended up looking decent because she reminded me of Kyla Pratt...owwww) looked THAT good, and you lasted three minutes dog? Couldve at LEAST let the Madden quarter run out.

Needless to say, if I'm going long because of masturbation....and niggas only pulling 3-8 minute rounds... Something aint right. Nigga was like 'man, I aint have a chance to test the pussy out, she was just throwing it back'....

Aint that what she supposed to do? Illegitimate.... Please tell him how we feel about that...


All men know when we expecting some action... You supposed to pull one before she even get there. It relaxes you. Females, I'll explain. You come over a dude house, or whatever the case may be... The proper thing for him to do, to avoid him hassling you about the pussy... Is let one off before you touch down. It works two ways. If you DO go and give him the twat, he's going off round two already (who hasn't cheated on a test before??? Exactly) so he's not going to give you that *cough* shitty quickie. Secondly, if you don't give it up, he won't hassle the shit out you. Point blank period.

Niggas. Take my advice. Get to work. It pays off in the long run. And I have been doing it since I was 11. Ten years strong is a good thing. Females... Rub your sexual slit too. Aint no problem with double clicking your mouse. Because we enjoy that shit. Especially if you look remotely close to Lauren London... Oww.

So does masturbation kill the sex? Nope. Not at all. But to each his own. Give me your opinions.

Fuck R.Kelly *Uncle Rukus Voice* "That nigga there is GUILTY!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008 0 comments
Dear. Mr. R. Kelly

I just want to let you know, your a bitch ass nigger. Seriously though. I want to spit on your ass. Its a lot of people that have fucked and reproduced off your music. I know for a fact, I've make love to a womans waka (ass) thanks to a lot of your music. I remember back in middle school, I got my first hard on to "Feeling on yo booty". You've done a lot to impact the world. But.. Why your bitch ass aint locked up? You got off for pissing on people? I saw your little interview last night. So you rehersing your responses though? Come on son... Real talk though. You like 40. Fuck you doing with 8th graders though? Twats tight? Do you NOT understand you could have ANY woman you wanted nigger? I just want you to know that my aunt and me were talking last night... She went to one of your concerts in 95... and threw her panties on stage. Them are ADULT panties. What pleasure you get out of seeing a 13 year old girls panties. Dont you know training bras and drawls with the day of the week means that they are YOUNG? Now... that one girl with the white panties on.. light skinned joint... phat... BUT..thats besides the point.

Real shit though nigga. Confess your sins. Write a letter to the judge, and tell them that was you. Because wholetime, we know the truth. Who else look like you nigga? Nick Cannon? Exactly. Trying to say it was your brother. Nigger... Nigger... NIGGA, fuck we look like.. idiots though son? I'm still fucked up at the fact that you got off and it took 7 years for you to get a trial. And you PISSED on a female. AND got off! I have a restraining order out on a girl from the 10th grade thats STILL being processed. Lucky ass celebrities man. I dont know whats worse.. you, or Lil Wayne getting lip piercings.

Let Wayne do what Wayne does. Everybody cant be him. Dig?

(Wayne... still I'm shifted off this move.. But we'll get on you later.)

I just prefer that you get locked up. And the fact that you bought the girls OUT.. makes it that much worse. So in conclusion.. your a fucking whore. What type man wheres a batman mask, does songs with B2k, and calls themselves the "Pied Piper"


"The Pied Piper of Hamelin is a legend about the abduction of many children from the town of Hamelin (Hameln), Germany. "
so you out here just throwing the shit in peoples faces though?

How you feel bout that my illegitimate?

Exactly. Nigger we want answers to why you did it. Now.

Love @ 1st Sight: Reality of figment of imagination?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 0 comments
Can you honestly meet somebody and be like.. "Damn, I think I'm in love with them'? I think I have some love moments the first time I've seen or met a couple people. Which is crazy. I've been in amazed with the way a person looks, their conversation, and the way that they carry themselves. But ultimately, I ended up realizing their true colors in the same aspect. Its crazy because Aaris gave me the topic to discuss, and im truly at a loss for words. A lot of my friends that I asked had the same rebuttal towards the question asked.

"Never experienced it...so I don't believe in it."

But how can you believe in something that most of the time you dont even know is there? Because I know for a fact that I've let a COPLE of good people go because I was chasing the wrong things. So if that can be a way to say "love at first sight", I guess i've never experienced it. Theres been plenty of people that I met, became cool with off the jump, but never realized that "bam, this might actually be somebody I need to be interested in, but never could say "yeah, I love her." Now what I can say.. I do believe in infactuation at first sight. I have been known to have my attention grasp by a woman who can command a room with the most simplistic things. Just the way she interacts with others, the attire she might have on, or something of that nature. But when it comes to actually "falling in love" with a person. I think thats misconstrued. Its some people who will claim love at first site means off break you know your going to love this person and you know you gonna be together. Thats definetely not the case.

I'm sure when I was simple minded as a teenager, I said it like it was an everyday word on repeat. In initial meetings with people, I've been that way, quick to think it, but it really was'nt "love". I've tried to convince myself that I could define love by committment and relationships. When in all actuality, I think REAL love is something that I have yet to experience. So as far as love @ first sight, gotta be a figment of the imagination. I'm sure there are a lort of people on here in relationships with someone now, that will vouch and say "oh nah, i knew he was the one for me". How is that the case? Was it before, or after he/she opened their mouth?

Because I know I thought a girl was the sexiest thing on Earth, until she opened her mouth. Man I swear. Everything was a good look, until she spoke. And one thing I hate is a female with a nigger mentality. My name is GREG, not Mo', son, dog, none of that. I was sitting there like "maybe if I stare at her titties, she'll get turned ff and walk away". NO. She continued to speak. Swear this birch canue sounded like Rick Ross with a clit, no bullshit. I'm sitting here on the phone with my boy talking about it while I'm writing, and I forgot how many CLUB experiences we've had. There was this girl... BADDEST thing walking. I'm in the cut feeling like T-Pain, better yet, Captain Save a Bitch. Hand me a cape. So we converse, exchange contacts, make plans to hook up the next day. So she shows up, we kicking the funky bombastics, so I ask her a couple questions. Basic shit like "whats your major, what you plan on doing, can you read, have kids.. etc.. etc."
HOW we got on the topic of bad habits, I dont know.. But she said some shit to me, that instantly had me like "yeah.. wheres the closest trash can". This chick says "I know you'll think differently of me, and I dont want you thinking Im nasty or a slut, but I'm a germophob." Now.. I have no problem with you hating germs.. shit, I do too. But NO... this shit took the cake.

"I've only had vaginal sex once. All my other times I only did anal. My pussy is sacred, and not all men can have that."

WHAT!? *refer back to my hate of ass fucking*.. I didnt mean for it to come out the way it did.. but i was like "so basically your is is phat from getting pumped in it until the white meat show?" lmao. She didnt really take offense to it. But I just found the shit to be crazy. I know them brazillian chicks take it in the batcave (new term for "asshole") but HER... no. Thats like a female liking a dude, and he tells her "I dont like getting my dick sucked, but you can lick my ass and suck my balls". I wish a female would put her tongue near MY ass. I'll purposely arrange my bowels just so she'll never try that shit again. (yes.. i thought that comment was TMI too.)

But back to the topic... Love at first site? "ooh ooh, i cant believe it"... Like I know I look at a LOT of peoples little "sexy club photos" that y'all take on those Friday nights, under those flashing lights... and think to myself.. Damn...I should send her a message. Because theres been quite a few of those moments. But love at first sight? Nah. Never. "is it just..infactuation?" indeed, it is.

Feel free to voice your opinion. I did.

Commitments Vs Just Sex: My POV...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 0 comments
Commit? Aint that a star? Shit...I know for a fact I committed for a nice long time before flying solo. Sure...done my dumb shit, fucking with the fast tails, cheated, went on dates while still with my youngin... Wholetime...that she aint cool when the turtle got the lead in the rabbit race, you know? So why can't motherfuckers commit anymore? Granted...I been single the better part of 7 months. It’s a large pill, and I've yet to try to swallow it. But it’s the truth. Back in high school, you had many options. You could be like 'fuck Ashley, Jordan better'. Now...how the fuck can you tell the difference?

I'm back at square one, trying to start shit anew. Fucking with these hoes done let me know Karma a serious bitch. I accept it. But its getting cold out....it aint going to be long before people talking bout settling down. When all them cute clothes and short sleeves get put in the summer pile, watch, 'in a relationship' will be common on facebook. Even people will just say 'in a relationship' just to fit in. Fuck it, I been thinking bout it my damn self.

Since I'm a dude, might as well let you women know. Men only cheat under two circumstances. When new pussy is thrown at him, or when you hassle him. That's it. That's all. Notice when you aint bothering him, letting him chill....half the time; he's wondering what the fuck YOU doing. Regardless if you doing dirt or not. That's the position you trying to be in. I'm sick and fucking tired of females like 'oh, that bitch aint got shit on me'....yeah...alright. Don't let your conscious be the reason why your pillow is damp at night. Do what you need to do to keep that man. Shit... I can tell you up front... If me and you are together...'No' isn't a compromising answer. I'm pretty sure your mother swallowed for your father, and your father ate her pussy. Nasty site, but its true. So quit with all that 'I won't do shit'. Because it’s true...if you don't, they will. Ratio from women to men in the DMV area is 26 to 1. So you think he tripping off you? You aint messing up his odds.

Prime example: homegirl I know in Miami mad as shit because her man fucked her younger cousin. (She 24, cousin 18). Even family satisfying, so 'don't you...ever...get to...comfortable'. That's why....I put dick down. Aint none of that 5-10 minute shit. Ms. Lucky is going to get her canal dug like I did a 20 year bid in solitary. You understand. And everytime (give or take) will be the same way. I love sex too much to take it for granted. I aint in denial about the shit either.

But niggas....don't think your bitch ass special either. Girl I was talking to already done got her next in line. I told her 'best of luck', and cut it off from there. But if you want to keep youngin....better get your shit right. Because if these random niggas don't treat her right, trust, I damn sure will. And I purposely made this note readable for friends of friends. This is a public announcement. I know a LOT of females, so I peep y'all adding me. PSA: I'll change her life, and drastically hurt yours. Aint no different with any other nigga. Stand corrected, or sit your ass down.

You wanna know how to keep a relationship fresh? Take three words out of it.

-I don't know

Those three words right there kill any good thing. So avoid that shit. Ladies, that nigga been with you longer than six months, and wanna be, God forbid, adventurous... Do it. You already sucked his dick. Precum is the same thing, and you done consumed your share. Get down on the dick.

Niggas...stop asking for threesomes. The fuck type greedy ass nigga want that action? I got ONE dick, two balls. Fuck imma do with two pussies? Egg-act-lee. Yeah, yeah, you'll be like 'she might like it'...wholetime...what if her ass LET you fuck her and another girl. Then turn around and say 'well...I always wanted to fuck your friend Greg (because it’s such a great name to complete the sentence)...let's have a threesome. I know your face going to be fucked...UP. Shit hurt to think your boy going to be beating her box while you getting head, aint it?

Compromise with each other, bet none of y'all stray. This coming from a nigga that done done it all.... I honestly don't think I missed a beat here. If you feel you got something to add, feel free.

Dont worry bout it bitch, I know somebody like it

Monday, September 15, 2008 0 comments
Sorry bout the delay.. Had work to do.

T-Pain cd bumping in the background....

Whats up. Damn, monday already though? Shit. Weekends aint really shit now. Seem like friday night short, and saturday is even shorter. So, let me go ahead and speak my mind. First off... skinny women. Please stop thinking because your skinny your a model. Trill talk. Sure, I throw a burger at you, you dont eat it. But lets make this clear.. A digtal camera and a dream aint going to give you what you desire. Build a portfolio. Gettign sick of 20% of my facebook friends being model. I know there are some LEGIT models that I'm friends with that have a clientele, a portfolio, and still maintain a dayjob. But these jaints that think modeling on a playground in boyshorts is modeling.. Come on now. We need more fat and plus sized models now that I think about it. Swear if I see that bitch Cassie in another Sean John ad imma scream. Dont get me wrong, give me a couple drinks, an ultra ribbed and a couple hours and I might change her stance...

Anyway. I had to sass a girl today, yet AGAIN. Basically she told me Gucci Mane was the best rapper in the South right now. Bitch is you bonkers?!? Now.. see, I would spell check that.. But i meant the way i said that. BITCH... is you... bonkers? Gucci Mane.. the best rapper? I dont even consider WAYNE the best rapper in the South. Let me find out you can rap about eating twat, smoking blunts, and use a T-pain autotune and be considered the best. Watch out for ME.. I'm giong to make a Autotune track called "That Shit on my voice". Imma blow up faster than Soulja Boy.

(Motherfucking right!)

I've also come to the conclusion... I want to fuck three people before I die. A white woman with money, Rihanna, and a midget. lmao. Wait... Did I just type that? Fuck it. I do. Now listen to my madness though. Rihanna... is a sexy bitch though. Stating the obvious.. And the rich white woman is obviously because I want to just lay a stack of fifty dollar bills on the bed and just pipe her on crisp new bills. No sheets. But the midget. Oh lord the midget. Or the "short" person. Whatever the proper terminology is. Let me explain though. I downloaded this porn last night, since you know, im Greg, I can do that. So the movie comes on, and man... this little 3 foot person had possibly the phattest ass I've ever seen in my life. At first I was like "Greg... that extra skin gotta go SOMEWHERE..", but nah... Her ass was phat. Let me give you an example. You ever seen a girl so phat that when she sit down, her ass like ooze out from the side? Thats her. Shit was wild. So homeboy is fucking her... and does THE wildest shit I've ever seen in my life. He was hitting a midget.. from the back.. on the bed.. and she was standing straight up. Man I aint know if I shouldve been excited.... Or disgusted at her anatomy.Then.. the worse happened.. He picked her ass up. You ever seen a bad ass kid toss a cabbage doll across a room? Well picture it. So now I have this wild infactuation about having my way with someone shorter than me. Dont laugh at me... Even though the shit is funny.

So.. I woke up this morning, and I found a new friend. Shes actually kind of nice. I been texting her majority of the day. No.. before you get any ideas, it aint that type party. I have enough on my plate to try a side dish.

Last night I went out to Ruby Tuesday.. and I have like the worse gas ever. Something they put in the food got me over here farting my ass off. You ever passed gas.. and the joint stunk so bad, you had to go to the bathroom to "correct" yourself? The fucked up part about the fart though... It smelled like somebody ELSEs joints. Dont act like it aint happen to you. You let one go.. and you be like "Damn.. that smell like Mike Fart". I was like "young.. That shit aint right". So i been flushing myself with water and alco-selser (sp.) all day long. I think I burned a whole in Debbi (white lady at my job) nostrils. I thought I was in the clear. Nobody was in the hallway.. so i was like "aww shit! I can fart, and walk the fart off by time I get back to my desk". I was mistaken. She comes out the kitchen (surprise to me).. and my lord, her face was like "shit.. did the sewer leak?"

I know.. TMI. But fuck you. This my shit. I'm going to go and get my bartending license too. White guy told me valuable information I needed to know. "Alcohol= 3 t's. Tips, Tricks, and twats. I literally seen this man pull three women off giving them a free long island. I was like "wait wait... what happened". He was like "I told her girlfriend if you buy one drink, I got your other two friends. Wholetime... the drink was 10.00, and the bottle to make the drink was 32.00, so she basically bought a whole new bottle. And I got her number". Shittttttt. Bout to get with it!

My Chargers lost...
The Redskins won.. GET THEE FUCK OUT OF HERE. My 9 year old cousin called me like "AY GREG! We going to the Super Bowl! *In her best DJ KHALID VOICE* WE THE BESSSSSSSSST"..

Come on now baby... You aint doing THAT much. Redskins can barely get out the preseason.

All Redskins fans.. fuck that.. Cowboy fans too for that manner... Can kiss my nuts after a scorching day of full court basketball. Chargers and Cardinals all day.

Sidenote #1: You see this? I'd hunch.

Sidenote # 2

That honesty box broad... I still aint heard from you baby. I guess you took a break from riding my dick. I guess it really is true. That drink is still available if you want it.

Can I Live?!? Weekend 9.12th-9.14th Blog

Sunday, September 14, 2008 0 comments
Damn, how was my weekend? Joint went by so quick it was like "okay... you here, now your gone". Felt like i bullshitted it through. First off, Sunday, went to the little work function, then went out to the bar. Someone.. *cough* was supposed to go with me, but instead went elsewhere. Cant knock that. So I went solo (as I do so often). I got invited to Fur.. of course, i laughed that off. So i get to the bar, and Matt (bartender) was like 'Greg, something aint right man, your swag aint even the same". I bought the cheapest drink possible, because honestly, didnt even feel like drinking. So i had something that was created, mixed. I need to start drinking straight liquor. But i dont have hangovers. I actually wake up EARLIER after getting shitfaced. Wholetime I'm at the bar, Justin is texting me about going to Georgetown, yet he never followed through. And I wasnt about to go out that way. So mind you... I already got to the bar at like what, 1115... By 1227 I was back up out the door.

Had to end up coming to the house to help my sister on a TV production assignment the next day. Picture that. Greg, HELPING somebody. Wholetime, I didnt heard much out the "liar". So I talked to one of my compadres, and they informed me that homegirl (a she obviously) was going to have someone go with her whereever she was going. I wasnt tripping. I cant hate on the next man for doing what he has to do. Thats bad business for a man of my stature to catch feelings, you know? Wholetime, a girl approaches me like... "Greg, you have too many women". I need to know exactly wats TOO many. I have a lot of people I speak to on the regular. Then I have a few people I may flirt with. Then.. I have zero that actually take the shit seriously. I charge it to the game, and accept the fact that it's still warm outside. But trust and believe, when the chill hits them... It'll pick up. I wouldnt mind going and devoting time to a worthwhile female. But aint nobody stepped up yet.

Okay... I guess its time for the jokes and the humor. Some of y'all might find this to be humor, I find it serious. I get a note in the mail from Kaiser saying "All your STD results came back negative." Man.. can you imagine the excitement on Greg's (yes, third person) face!?! Man I was so gitty it aint make no sense. I might just walk around with that shit taped to my chest. Now I know for a fact I dont act liek brett Favre, launching dick at recievers, wholetime, anything can happen. And i'm one of the most paranoid motherfuckers you'll meet in your life when it comes to shit that can alter your life. I knew a girl personally that was walking around with some shit that a dude gave her. I told her up front... Sweetheart, I cant chance it. I neglected even hugging her. Her cheeks may bleed, and rub on my skin,a nd an ingrowing hair can catch some of that shit. Anything. Fuck that.

Then... Im sitting here, having casual sex conversation (double negative, but fuck it) to a female about the most BASIC shit... and she lies. Are fibs the new truth? I know... I know "Greg, you've told lies before".. I have, and I'm tryingto be brutally honest.. But I have NO reason to lie about my body count, wholetime. Now I know for a fact a woman could be the ugliest bitch on the western hemisphere, and as long as her clit is functioning... shes getting some dick. And niggas cant fake, they've all had sex with a female that wasnt a model. You cant always get a winner. Matter of fact, girl in my high school years wasnt all that potent either. She was plump sized. Fuck that.. she was round. Nothing against big girls, because I love me thickums. She just did some dumb dumb dee dumb shit. Basically it was my last day at Summer School, and her and I fucked. I never nutted, and her mom was coming home soon, so I told her either flush the condom, or throw it out her bedroom window. Now... dont get me fucked up.. She lived in the hood... so a condom laying in an alley aint that farfatched. But back to the story... you think this girl did as instructed... NO.

So a couple weeks later we break up (was a summer thing I guess), and she catches feelings. She tells her mother that i took her virginity, and that she might be pregnant. (funny now, but definetly NOT then...) Im sitting there telling my family.. I DIDNT NUT INSIDE OF HER. SHE DIDNT MAKE ME NUT. Mind you, I wasnt even supposed to be at her house. but that day at Summer School, we just picked up our report cards and rolled out. Since her and I were serious at the time, she invited me over, we hunched and whatnot. Well see.. my pops didnt think I went to school that day.. So out of anger, I grab my backpack.. and guess what come flying out the side pocket...Yeah..

A safeway bag with the condom in it. Now I should be mad at the fact that I didnt check the backpack.. but wholetime im like "What type retard puts a fuck instrument in a plastic bag". That shit STUNK to all hell.

GOT to be more careful. They found out she was lying, and I got off. Thank God.

The moral of this story is.... Giving brain dont make you smart..

But I dont really have much else to say, as you can see.. thats my weekend, and my thoughts of it. So you have an idea of my thoughts and whatnot.Y'all have fun. Hopefully I'll have something to say tomorrow at work.

Dear Hater. Everyone has one! Feel Free To Read....

Friday, September 12, 2008 0 comments

You ever had somebody all in your shit on facebook? Like they monitoring your footsteps? Ever had one of your friends on here have some person they dating or talking to try to add you as a friend so they could see what the hype is all about? Matter fact.. what about somebody who writes in... YOUUUUU GUESSED IT.... HONESTY boxes. I sure have.


The funny part... is honestly.. i dont give a shit about the facebook atmosphere... But i figured this should be the topic of discussion. Quite frankly... A lot of sneaky ass people on here are some quote on quote... bitches. And you know whats worse.... a FEMALE thats a bitch. And everybody knows... two bitches on top of each other is...Gay. So.. Let me tell my story. Im on here... doing my daily routine, blogging, chatting with randoms and old friends. Being myself. I personally feel like I shouldn't have enemies. But I get a notification about "1 new honesty box"... So im sitting here like "oh lord..Another anonymous person". Granted I dont get many of the Honesty box things because everybody knows you can say what you want to me up front. Aint no love lost.

So the honesty box message went like this:

------Honesty Box:"You talk alot about sex. You know when people brag it aint always popping. Pretty sure ur shit is wack"

Now.. Pink obviously tells you its a female... blue is a dude. So Im sitting here like "Damn...a female talking bout my dick like that?". My name is Greg, not gump... so i replied with sarcasm, like "Yeah... my shit is wack... im ashamed of myself. I cant stand it!".. Because frankly...I dont know WHO the fuck it is thats admiring me so much. I thought April was the month of fools, but seems like this person failed miserably in Kindergarten, learning the months on the calendar.

So sweetheart, darling, baby girl, toots... Why you have so much dismay in your heart? You wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and grieve your life so much, you hate others on the internet? I hope not. I'm trying to be very civil to you because its not in my heart to be evil about it. I even went, and DELETED honesty box.. so you could approach me and take off the internet mask that protects you. if you dont like me for whatever the reason is, let me know. We can work this out. Did I sleep with your sister in high school? Did i call your mom too late? Wait... Wait... I got it... YOU wanted to know if my sex was what it's hyped up to be! You saw my tongue and thought.. "Damn.. That man is funny, smart.. and got a long tongue.. But DAMN.. I cant type enough keystrokes to get close to him... shit! Let me hate".

Thats not the way you go about life sweetheart. Thats like me actually being MAD at you for giving me the attention... and saying FUCK YOU.. I HOPE YOU GET BREAST CANCER AND DIE IN YOUR SLEEP. But im Greg... I would never be that evil and cruel hearted. So what Im GOING to do... Is go out tonight. I'm going to buy two drinks. I'm personally having a Ciroc and Pineapple. And I'll even buy you one. We'll even go to a spot that has dim lights so we dont have to look each other in the eyes. How does that sound? Good? I know.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this letter I wrote to you. It took me a lot of time to admit my undying love for you. Lets agree to disagree that you've had your ten minutes of fame.


Mr. Aye

Light skinned niggas aint been in style since 92

DISCLAIMER: Now dont get me wrong, the reason why the blog was posted was because friend of mine(light skinned) has the assumption that women prefer light skinned men because they know they will have good looking kids.

Come on now...Light skinned niggas aint been in style since Al B Sure was out. And even then....that nigga baby mother cheated on him with Diddy....what that tell you?
Lol. I'm a chocolate dude....and any female can tell you this...White chocolate aint got shit on dark chocolate. Y'all albino light skinned niggas will never...ever come back in style. Sure, y'all get some action because y'all are genetically able to produce a blue eyed black baby with no pigment...but that don't make y'all special.

Had a girl tell me last night that light skinned dudes go light on the pussy. Basically saying they are pretty boys in the bedroom. Now...don't get me wrong.... I have no problem with light skinned niggas...but my main issue...is this complex they have that they the flyest niggas out. Sure... Y'all can go to an all white party at Love and not even be mentioned....but that's invalid. I got a light skinned friend of mine... Favorite quote 'Greg, where the bitches'... Nigga its 930 at night...and I'm dark skinned...they aint checking for me. You go look for em, you easier to spot'.

Crazy shit though... I'm prone to dating light skinned women. (White is light skinned in a way too, aint it?). I've dated a couple brown skinned/dark brown females in my time, but something about a light skinned female turns me on. Especially those jaints with the tattoos. Like every girl I've come in contact with asks me if I have any tattoos. Real talk... What imma tattoo, my eyeballs? Only part of that able to get inked. Unless they started doing glow in the dark tattoos. But sometimes...I won't fake... I wish I was light skinned. I've noticed being fair skinned get you out of a lot of fucking trouble. Especially with women.

Girl I know called me a while back like 'oh damn! Greg...I'm mad as shit. I'm stranded at Hoffman theatre! What time ill'. So I'm like... 'Ughh...now maybe.’ So she's on the phone panicking, calling her mom and whatnot (who happens to be white). So a white dude walks out of the theatre like 'heyyy, you okay?'...she explains the situation, and surely enough, her mom allows her to go get a ride home.

(I hope he went and got some wop from her while burning his gas) Wop (verb) - getting the mouth o mighty.

Anyway...what's up with light skinned people being so fucking violent? Seriously. I'm sitting here listening to Plies cd...and if it aint bout fucking it’s: 'Nigga ima be up in yo buschessssssss'. Ol anger management ass niggas. Speaking of this nigga Plies... Why this man lying though? Sources telling me this nigga living his brother story. That's gangsta now? Then come to find out he graduated from Florida with top honors as an accounting major? Ha. That shit aint adding up.

But...back to you light skinned niggas. Amanda told me two nights ago... 'I prefer dark skinned dudes the way the sweat glisten all over they booooooody'. (Them exact words). I felt so proud to be black after that statement; I told her whenever I see her...imma give her a reacharound. Otherwise...I love dark skinned women too, but I just can't do the body bump with them. Because my grandfather used to tell me 'think of sex like the stock market. When you find an interest...diversify your bonds'. Basically that's elbonics for 'find you a woman that's family has more races than an Olympic track meet.’ And indeed I shall.

What....aint nothing else, lls. It’s Friday. Lol. Comment.

"Oh nah.. See... They just my 'play brother/sister"... right 9.11

Thursday, September 11, 2008 0 comments
First off... Check your boy.. Pee Wee's Adventures went off the air for a reason... Ban him. Ban him.

Lls. Funny shit. I was talking to Amanda about this last night, figured this would be the blog today. It’s like a pet peeve I have. Granted I have a nice looking group of friends, but I do not claim many to be 'play' anything. So we start speaking about how everybody has a "play brother/sister", and that they can't differentiate a 'sibling' and a 'friend' anymore. Sure...you may say 'oh yeah we known each other to me, he's' like a brother to me'....fuck that. Fuck you think you fooling.

I've had countless play sisters. Bitch aint give me no Christmas or birthday presents. Sound like she played the shit out of me. All that 'Play' shit is an excuse. Let me elaborate what 'play siblings' are. Its only three things it could be...

- A person of the opposite sex you weren't feeling that either: makes you laugh, good to hang with, tried to talk to you too son.
- A person who you USED to talk to, yet you can't rid them out of your lifestyle.

That's it. Aint no fancy punch lines. You weren't supposed to laugh.

Scenario: had a girl I was talking to heavy tell me... 'Oh I'mma call you back, my play brother spend the night'.

Cool...normally I don't care...but the fact that she called ME...spooked it. It’s almost like she was tossing the shit in my face. Not a problem. Cut the cunt off. 'Unforgivable'. I have NO intention of being any females play anything. The only things I play with are pussy, Xbox, and give or take, couple other things. Needless to say... Cut that play brother out. Call them a close friend....end of discussion.

As far as you niggas. I've got some startling news. Not all women cum from fucking. YES! Shocked the shit out of me too. So you gotta start doing tricks on they ass. Girl told me 'oh I don't cum, like ever'....that's one boring ass life. Me not nutting is like no good. I HAVE to have it everyday. Aint none of that celibacy shit. Fuck I look like depriving my fuckstick from taking a dive in the ocean of stroking? Girl I know was like 'I aint had sex in almost two years'....hahhhhhhn? (Say it in the lil wayne 'Mrs. Officer voice)...

Going two years without the hunch though? How do y'all do it. I can't do it at. Let me tell you how I look at sex. Cause the shit is rather turning me on right now. Might have to take off work early... But, basically sex to me is like some a museum of orgasmic paintings. (That sounded good as shit...quote that). But you ever gone to an art museum or seen a photo somewhere... The photo looked like a three year old tossed paint at it and smeared it....but that shit is worth millions? That's how I see it. My dick is the paintbrush, and the art board is of court....the thing underneath her abdomen. And I have been practicing Picasso for a while. Sometimes... I can sketch a photo REAL quick.. Then sometimes...that masterpiece might take me a couple hours. (Let that marinate, I'm dropping scripture here)...

You can tell who's had some cutty lately though. Just look at the white girl in your classroom or work today. You wonder why she's all jumpy, and waving, saying hello to homeless people, petting random animals? Yes... Somebody tore her little peephole out the frame. (Need me a white woman. All inquiries...greaye@aim.com).

-Random- what the fuck is lil Wayne saying on 'misunderstood? This nigga just said...
It doesn't make you a good person to criticize before you improvise'...'Doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but the characteristics fall heavily in the baddest way'....tell y'all boy to please take the piercings out his head, and let that bullshit leak out the holes.

Other topics... I'm on the bus this morning... See a girl from the back. Bad as shit. White two piece suit, with an ass. I'm sitting here looking with the stumped face like 'I know she farts stink' (something I say when I see a female with a phat ass. It’s true. Y'all donkey butt ladies butts be smelling like shit rubbing on sandpaper.) But basically I'm over here grabbing at myself like damn....all I need is a long island, 30 minutes, and a bottle of water. So I'm curious to see her face....and she turns around. Mannnnnnnnnn when I tell you she was ugly, I mean it. Her face looked like shrek put a semester of school books in a pillowcase and slapped herself with it,

I'm sorry...my standards too damn high for me... I will write more when I get some time in my day... The white people have me ripping and running at work today. I love them for making my paycheck that much easier to get (sarcasm). Got a MEAN craving for Chipotle today for some reason…

Reggie Bush.. your a lucky nigger. I'd fuck her with a condom with punctured holes...

Ski season coming up soon too... Anybody coming with me? The air up there... yes.

I Hate them pornos with them weird ass CAMERA ANGLES! 09.10 Blog.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008 0 comments
Yeah... today’s blog is long... Sit back and coast through it. Do me a favor... If you subscribe to the notes... I won’t have to keep tagging... Easier on me.

Random shit that pisses me off. When people are like 'I don't like the Metro'. The fuck is wrong with public transportation. You bitch and moan about gas, yet hate public transit? Had a discussion with a friend, she's like 'I just don't like it'. No specific reasoning. She knows it gets you anywhere in the dmv area....but for some reason....
She hates it. Crazy shit.

Which leads me to this whole situation. I currently...do not have a car. Hence...Metro opens doors. I go to the bar, club, dates, work, whatever...THAT way. I've had my share of hoopties given to me. Came and gone. Maybe I need to go and get a car again since people feel more liberated with car keys. It just is crazy the friends that I
have...new cars, new apartments... But struggling. You LIKE to live like that? Sure...you and your boo boo can go to Arundel Mills, and you can fuck from wall to wall in your luxury apartment with just a bed, couch, TV, and a bathroom. But once the smoke clears...you still a nigger...struggling.

This broads status on facebook is currently. 'Ugh..school- 2000, rent-1250, phone-150, insurance-500, clubbing all weekend- priceless.'

Meanwhile... Main profile photos got her popping travel sized bottles of Rose'.

Fuck is your priorities at? That's like me going to a party, and pouring out perfectly good liquor on the floor. Your dead homies dead for a reason. Aint none of them niggers thirsty. If they are, tell them wait until it rain. I gotta marry me Oprah or somebody with a six figure income. Because I can't see me...grown ass man doing the dumb shit I've seen and heard.

Niggers- Ultra Thin condoms. Please stop loving these girls, trapping them, going raw. Partner of mine fell for the 'cute light skinned
MySpace girl' type. Now... Homeboy got 18 years. 18 years.

(Random plug!)

---6570 days. Six thousand...five hunned, seventy days.--- now add what...9 days for leap year...

Was that nut worth that?

Lauren London...you don't count...I'd reproduce seven kids with you and name them Monday through Sunday....

Back to other shit... Somebody asked me to speak on a subject. 'Niggas that lie'.

I've lied before. And I admit it. Sue me. I cheated, it happens. I told a girl I loved her in high school just for some head (sorry...NOTTTTTT *Borat Voice*). I'm a man. But I was trying to rectify that shit. I've been on the straight and narrow since getting out of my last relationship. Sad had to end in order to figure out all the dumb shit I was doing... But still.

But dudes lie because it’s not in our nature to tell the truth. I've told women lies personally to go and defend their own hearts. What it look like for me to be on the phone like 'oh yeah... I'm sitting here with her.'? I've done the most. Now. I honestly don't care. Used to keep my phone on vibrate at a female house. Now... joint rings I look and I put it down. Until a female pays the bill that comes in monthly... Her say so don't really matter.

Meanwhile... Women do lie to. And are fucking great at it. Example: called a girl last night. Here's the scenario:

Her; Hello?
Me: what's up. You called me?
Her: Yeah I was checking up on you, seeing how you been. I seen you on
facebook. Flirting. Lls.

(At this point...I already know the only reason she's calling is because I'm 'interesting' right now with these blogs. Its been like this a lot lately. I got 2800+ friends. Sometimes I speak and they asses don't even reply. So I guess she sees the movement is moving and thinks she can jump on the bandwagon. NOPE....but...No biggie.)

Me: I'm just chilling. The blogs help me get through the day
Her: You could talk to me.
Me: Yeah I could. But last time I checked, your man requested me off
this joint thinking me and you was hunching (my term for fucking)
Her: Nah, he cool people. He said he likes your blogs...

My name is no longer Greg. From now on...when you see me...call me Boo. And say it twice when you call me it. Why?....because this birch canue (my friendly term for bitch) must think I'm Boo Boo the fucking fool. I was born on a day...not YESTERDAY. You know?

Random thought. I need a woman with tattoos. Like a lot of them. I was on freak mode last night...figured 'fuck it....let me download some porn'. Wireless internet took damn near forever...so I was downloading like 9,10 flicks at a time. Laugh at me if you want... I need the PERFECT porno. Aint nothing worse then watching a porno....and the girl getting beat from the back....then that faggit ass cameraman want to toggle to the angle from under the dudes nutsacks. Fuck that bitch ass nigga. I'm not interested in having my 17 inch computer screen showing a wide screen shot of balls. Get back to the pussy.

So I'm turn off that scene...and the new scene comes on. Girl had a tattoo on her thigh wrapped around to her ass. And then the newest sensation that got me harder than R.Kelly trying to start a day care. She had a pussy piercing. My lord take me NOW. If it was against the law...I'd be in jail for 5 to 10. Because I truly did rape her with my eyes.

Where do they FIND these bitches! Excuse me...I'm only calling them bitches...because they made a career from sucking dick and taking nut to the abdomen. Sometimes I find myself like googling for 'sexy ass broads in porns'. Like Roxy Reynolds (yes I know names).....I promise you....if I see her outside after daylight...I'm going to strap on my all terrain Rubbermaid trash bag...and fuck her.

I would like Pinky...but that bitch went from 'plickity pow, plickity pow'...to porky pig. Seen her at a porn promotion for 'Black Girls Get Nasty 2' in Capital Heights. Man...swear on a stack of potatoes that bitch looked like that little pink pokemon that sings.

Now...to conclude...what's the most freak nastiest porn you seen? Don't fake like you aint seen none. Especially those of yall that like "anal" *cough Lauren...cough*.

The one that takes the cake for me... 'Fucked up facials'....man...I'm thinking its going to be on some discreet, white man fucking to elevator music, then gently apply the lotion to her grill. Oh nooooo. One youngin face looked like they poured wet candle wax from her horehead...shit was wild...

People Still Selling Sex Dreams? Lies, Tales, & Condria.. Part 1

Tuesday, September 9, 2008 0 comments
Okay. I've been trying to work around making this topic.. But it has to be done. Ladies, women, girls, bitches, whores, hoes, hos, tramps, skallys, cunts, twats, pussies, vagina, infants, embryoes... PLEASE... Please.. Fuck that...

Correct underwear.Need I elaborate? Fuck it, i will. If your a skinny chick.. Wearing boyshorts, and hiking your leg up when you take photos to make it look like you got some ass.. you aint fooling nobody babe. Trust me. I've seen my share of photos. Done done it all. [no shawty Lo, but still]. Fat women.. The thongs... come on now. If I wanted to see what a brown skinned peace sign looked like upside down.. I'd google it.

Stretch marks, wide asses, and dimples aint cute.

THIS... Sexy.

So I had a female send me a message a couple weeks ago (most of y'all already know)... that said "Ooh I like your tongue. I wanna squat on your face and spin in a circle".. Come on now. Was that necessary baby? I think not. I threw up in my mouth a little bit at the thought of a pussy on my face. Because that means an asshole is staring directly into my eyeballs. And that WONT fly. I deleted her ass soon as she requested me too. Ughkk man. Shivers at the thought of a fat chick griding her love canal on my chin. Crikies.

Niggas.. Stop telling these females you going to beating the pussy up too. Give them something to strive for. Tell them the truth. Tell them that first round.. you going to have to get adjusted so you might not last that long. Because I've had a girl tell me that one of my boys been rapping to her on the low low... so she tested him out... and said that she seen Super Bowl commercials last longer. WELL DAMN. Niggas going in the pussy frustrated as shit. hahahahahahahaha. Aint nothign wrong with taking your time. When you feel like your stomach getting tight, and that left leg knotting up.. pull out! Dont be ashamed or gaining your composure. Sure.. every female want the shit fucked out of them.. But same time.. a three minute beat fest, with no cum, no orgasm is just a waste of perspiration. Real talk. I'll take an L for taking my time. I wont even yap yap about it though.

Females... Stop with that "i got the wettest pussy" line too. Or "i got that good good". Word to the wise.. Theres nothing you can say while naked that a nigga is going to pull his pants up and walk out the door. you can say your pussy come with a silver lining, and cashmere carpets.. that dude just about getting savage with you. Example. Way way way way way way way way way way back when I was on freak mode around 15, 16. Girl preached her sermon about her pussy leaking, and that her nickname was Niagra.. Booooooyeeeeee stooooooooooooooop. So i did the index test. Put a finger in it... Promise you... I got four splinters when I pulled it out. No bullshit, shit was drier than Rick Ross beard.

This was just a public service announcment to let y'all know.. TELL THE TRUTH about your sex. If you out here fucking, wrap it up... but dont lie about it. I know a lot of grown ass men telling women they waiting for wifey. Yeah okay. And Michael Jackson got smooth chocolate skin, and is a subtitute teacher at an all boys school. Fuck outta here.

Letter to my Lover--- (Tagged you baby boo).. YES Dee.. Im slutting myself out to her.

Lauren... You know I was going to tag you in this. With your bossy ass. Im letting the whole world know.. When i meet you.. its on. How T.I. Aint cheat on Tiny with you, I dont know. I would cut off my right arm long as I could be left with you girl. You finer than a white mans tax return. Whew lordy... I'f you were a letter, I'd write outside the margins.. You hear MEEEEEE.

Shes a vegetarian, but I'd give her raw meat. Owwww. 09.09

Did'nt really have a blog for yesterday evening, figured I'd go and give it a break or so. Bare with me. This one going to be brief since the other one was long. Its hard trying to go and type all this shit. So let me tell you what I been up to. Thinking about sex. Not too bad seeing as though thats a regular brain ritual of mine. I came to the random conculsion.. I like eating pussy. Funny shit becaues back in high school, me and my partners used to speak on how nasty it was. But by 12th grade, that shit was as standard as tying shoelaces. Now dont get me wrong.. Greg aint eating random cootch. No dice. But when I gets it in... Fuck that let me stop before I start looking like a slut out here.

So we spoke about getting/giving head & backshots.. But one thing thats bothering me... Whats up with niggas trying to fuck women in the asshole? Like thats the new hotness now? Fuck they do that at? Niggers... please answer this shit for me.. When you fucking wet pussy.. What makes you elevate your dick, and try to stick it in an area tighter than a nickel? Please dont say that "oh, its tighter and wetter". You do realize shit come out that whole right? Im abuot to fuck the anal thoughts for you up right now. Imagine homegirl ate Chipotle that day. You know damn well its coming out later that night. Still trying to eat that?

Thought not. Oh.. another subject for you dudes. I been getting a couple friend requests from yall about the blogs, so I have to let y'all know bout that too. I aint originate none of this blogging shit, so dont think I did. I just figured I'd go ahead and speak my mind. In NO WAY FORM OR FASHION should you try this. Its not going to raise your pussy rating, and get women on your side. As you can see, majority of the comments I get are a result of them being cool with me. I can feelt he wave of facebook notes coming sooner or later. Figured I'd let that be known.

Random thought... Kobe Bryant wife is a bad bitch. I'd seriously fuck her with a fishnet condom. And wouldnt think twice about it. I know those aint his babies though. Aint hear that from me though...

Its starting to get cold outside, and darker late. I gotta find me a cuddle buddy. Bout to find me a plus sized chick so I can get that extra warmth. So if you got any fat friends... Tell them big girls need love too. Just tell them I cant reproduce with them. Our metabolisms dont match. (That wasnt a jab at fat women. I love them. Its just a fact). I have a lot of big women in my family, so I been raised to love the women who could make some bomb ass dinner rolls, even though they had enough on their bodies.

Just know the difference between Phat and fat please. there are CATEGORIES.

Phat: 130-165
Plush- 165- 185
Plump- 185-210
Plus Sized- 210- 230
Phool (fool to think im going to think im fucking you) 230+

But--- if you look like this.. or this is you period..

Just know I'm not pulling out. So arrange a baby shower when you meet me.

Tis all.

The hell? Monday Already? Fuck! Bitch. 09.08.

Monday, September 8, 2008 0 comments
First off...let me start by saying...damn. My close friend Darsey is like leaving for Boot Camp next Monday. The shit is wigging me out because we been on bad terms the past month or so as a result of me NOT liking the decision of her going into the service. I told her it was a bad idea and that she had more going for herself than that, and she does. Like seriously, I don't like seeing ANY of my friends in the military. It’s me being selfish but fuck it. I didn't even make her farewell party because of my own grieving over it. Honestly...how can I see my friend off to some shit like that? As much as we complain and bicker about the war... I'll be damned if I have a clsoe friend of mine be in the mix. I promised to write her and try to keep contact, but it really aint hit me until this morning that I only have a week to even spend with her. And I'm sure most of that's going to be with her family. I'm just stuck off that, I need to change subjects before I get sensitive about it. I'm already hurting for her hating me.

I'm at work, another boring Monday, trying to maintain. Broke (of course) until payday. And even then...money gotta get shelled out. Cell phone bill, credit card bill. Starting to think I pay to be
broke. I gotta find a hustle, like trimming fat women legs or something. Because one job aint cutting it. I'm seeing everybody with apartments at 22, 23, living the lavish life. Is that shit for me?
I highly doubt it, but I gotta get off the tit and stand on my own two. Which I have been doing.

So I'm having a discussion with a girl off here about this she likes. And I get the most redundant statement I've ever heard in my life. 'My man gotta drive a charger, I won't settle for less'. Does she not know that 9 out of 10 chargers on the streets are NOT custom? Stock rims, dashboards, cloth seats and shit? Like bitch elevate your game. Is the Charger like the 2008 caddy or something? Just any car could suffice. Fuck you tripping off what a dude drive if you just a passenger? Exactly. Come on now.

Oh...figured I'd speak on this. Something Dee brought to my attention in the post from yesterday (the joint that got 280 comments..but I aint bragging...). But she basically labeled me as a flirt. Is there something with me flirting though? I never saw it as a problem. I'm not selling wolf tickets. Like right now I have a female that is made at me because she thinks Dana stepped on her toes. Knowing damn well that aint situation. So I called miss lady not one, but twice the whole weekend, no reply. Then spontaneously, she in a relationship. Lol. I'm telling you, facebook is a fake niggers paradise I swear. I just want to know if it’s that serious. Even people who are in legit relationships, I don't knock them. I think I have that much respect. I mean damn. I'm about to go back to being evil as shit like I used to be. Since I used to get them Omarion comparisons, I'm bout to have an icebox where my...you know the rest.

Alrighty...breaking news. What's up with this epidemic of dudes telling women 'it aint tricking if you got it'... Nigga... Yes it is. Whoever gave you that impression...stop buying that nigga cds. Point blank. How you listen to that nigga T.I. That man dating Tiny from Xscape. Now who's been tricked? Exactly. My partner talking about 'Greg, you know where there's a Ruth Chris in the city? So of course me... I don't, but I ask him why. He tells me 'I'm taking youngin to a bite to eat'. Who's youngin, your main squeeze or something?

Nah. Jasmin'. (Me confused at this point)... Fuck is that? "Oh...that's this girl I met Friday". What? Hahaha. Man fuck that. Everybody pause and laugh with me.

----regain composure...bring it down...sigh, woosah--- alright. Back at it.

You don't take a girl on the first date to no damn Ruth Chris man. You met her 72 hours ago. Take her ass to a library, see if she can read before you give her a menu with words like 'filet mignon'. Ruth Chris like what, 65, 70 a plate? So his excuse... 'It aint tricking if you got it'. So son... If it aint tricking....who you think you tricking? Nigga I invited you out Saturday night, and you talking about 'man, I'm broke as shit, all I got is 80 until Friday'. Now I'm no mathematician, but...

65 dollars a plate
80 dollars in pocket
2 people sharing forks.

So now he mad at me because I told him give her something to strive for. Start at applebees and work up. If you give them everything from the jump, what she have to strive for in the future dude? Exactly.

Damn...it’s like Monday. My weekends aint shit. And I did nothing productive for it. And I want three hours of my life back from watching that fucking MTV awards. Fuck that Britney Spears bitch. They are trying to revive her career in any way possible. Shows you what hanging with Paris Hilton and exposing your lob sided pussy could get you. I guess she's going to have a T-Pain song on her next album. Long as she doesn’t try using the voice synthesizer. Speaking of voice synthesizers...Lil Wayne. Parrotman. Predator...that nigga. You can't tell me that nigga aint look like Buckwheat with that small ass vest.

I know I been labeled as a hater by a couple Lil Wayne jock straddlers, but fuck that. I won't discredit this man for making hitting ass music. But Monroes, kissing men, skinny jeans? What part of the game is that? If so, I'm putting my controller down now. Watch...by Christmas...niggas going to have lip piercings. Thinking their swag meter going to get higher by imitating a man that admits to kissing grown ass men that aint give birth to him.

But Kanyes...come on man...that new song...stop. It already looked like the show was hosted in a lunch cafeteria.... Why your set slum so bad? Rihanna....bad bitch, but I'm already getting sick of her. Don't get me wrong....I'd fuck her with a fishnet condom, no problem.... But
yeah, she oversaturated. I guess that's why Beyonce been laying in the cut. I heard B went and got a haircut. I frankly don't care, but she need to tell that nigga Jay-z to act his age. You forty nigger. He should’ve hung it up after Black Album.

And who's that 'I kissed a bitch' bitch? Is she the new Madonna or something? I decided to take a listen to the song....and I'm hurt. I need four minutes of my life back. I rather watch R.Kelly fuck another under aged female than that shit. But I do admit...this year missed Chris Brown though. Then again he gotta take a break too.

Now before I end this joint so y'all can read and comment on it. Im just curious. Figured I'd ask about it. I've been told "not on women give head". Why not? Something y'all dont like about it or something? I dont want to hear that "oh he has to be special in order to get that treatment".. Say he is special. Hes your man. Please him. Go down there and go to town..

Question is though... Why arent y'all doing it?

"So who you calling a bitch?"..U n i...agree.

Sunday, September 7, 2008 0 comments
First off: IF YOU TAGGED ON HERE AND DONT KNOW WHY..."Its a daily blog, just for me and the folks that chose to speak on topics. Thats basically it. Nothing else really. Figured each new blog, I'd add random people to it, so i can open up to more people, and more people can interact in the process."

So... Im sitting writing messages back and forward with Lauren, and she tells me what my next "blog" should be about... bitches. Basically she said..

bitches (yea ima female n I said it) ... bitches get "put on the list" via myspace to get in free, come in tipsy off the cheap shit in their boyfriends crib (whose gonna invite the independent bestfriend over after you leave)... get free drinks from the dumbest muthafucka in the club... take a bunch of pics to post on myspace... fake like they had a blast n got allll this attention n on model status... then wake up the next day, still livin in they parents crib! Takin the bus to a bullshit job, they content with! N do it all over again like they on some "sex in the city" status!!! How about bitches get jobs! Get they own crib! Own whip! Own shit n stop actin like u a high roller cuz u in vip LOVE when tpain performed! BITCH GO HOME TO YA MAN CUZ THERE'S A REASON HE DON'T MIND U ACTIN A FOOL IN THE CLUB!

Can you blame her? Real talk. If a FEMALE feels that way... then 9 times out of 10... something wrong with bitches, and they need to get they act together. In my 21 years... I've met a


of bitches. Bitches with weaves, bitches at clubs, bitches that stink, bitches that drink. But this year... man.. bitchbuffoonery has reached a high level.

lls. i agree wholeheartedly about that WHOLE statement. Bitches do a whole lot of stunting. I guess thats why I been single for a minute. I've tried out the market.. and I've been determined to stay that way until some female mans up and realizes that shes not dealing with a "typical nigga". I know thats a sermon thats preached on the regular to y'all, but its the truth, so why try to change the approach. I'd like to think my dick game is impeccable, I converse pretty well, and I have an honest approach. I dont bullshit or pull shit, but seems like bitches LIKE that.

Thats why I cant see me DATING a girl I met that night at a club. Friend of mine now is dating a stripper, and is the MAIN nigga complaining about her coming home late.. Bitch.. she dont work at a bed and breakfast. She straddle other niggers, then come home, shit, shower and shave, just to go and lay with YOUR ass. Shut your sensitive ass up. lls.

But nah.. "bitches" is a term I used often, because I havent been exposed to much else. Hate me or love it.. but its the truth. If all niggas aint shit, dont try to persuade me into thinking all bitches are different. Now... I WILL say.. There are WOMAN, and LADIES that deserve credit for paving their own lane, it's just sometimes even THEY swerve without putting their turn signals on. Understood? (nice analogy by the way) Bitches are always the type that aint got no money, but always wanna get high. Bitches are the type to have multiple kids with a dude, then still go and get her swerve on with other niggas.

Then... you got..Nigches. Thats German for nigger ass bitches. Like the type niggas that pay 20 to get in the club, but instead of partying... oh nooooo this nigga worried about critiquing OTHER niggas. Last night I'm dancing with Whitney (girl i met out at the lounge)... Homeboy mumbling under his breath to his friend "look at this nigga trying to party"

The fuck you scoping for nigger? You wanna dance with her? So I walked up on him like "Son... you wanna dance with her? She aint mine. No nametags stamped on her saying "Hi, im Greg's bitch". Then the bitch came out in him.

Homeboy: "Oh nahhh man im good, im just chilling. I see you doing your thing"
Shut your bitch ass up. Stop stunting my growth homie. Aint nothing worse than a person of the same sex hating on you. I swear. It happens on the regular. If you going to hate on me... HATE me. TELL me you hate me, that way i can LOVE pissing you off while doing my thing. So I figured out a method to make the bitchassness stop. You feel like somebody hating on you.. clone they ass. Befriend them. Expose them to real, so they stop faking. If you a female... you GOTTA have a hater. So when you find him or her... just dap em up. Tell em "Jesus love you, so dont hate God's child".

If that dont work... wait... wait wait... This dont sound like me..

FUCK that nigga. Let them hate. Walk up on them look em dead in the eye and say "You blurring my vision, kill yourself." How the fuck can you hate and you not doing better. Now ME.. I dont hate... I give constructive criticism. Some shit is just common sense. Like you dont walk outside with the intention of bitching about everything. "eww... its hot as shit outside"...Umm.. Its September, and you wearing skinny red jeans, a h&m sweater vest, and a white t-shirt. Fuck you thought you low blood circulation having ass nigger?

imma leave on THIS note though...And im possibly done for the day.

-Women.. Ladies. When you see a black dude out with a white woman..Just keep looking forward. Cut that hating ass racial shit y'all be doing OUT. I seen a black dude with a white girl last night... and this broad mumbles under her breath..

"Sellout. All the sisters in the world, he pick the blandest bitch in dc. I bet you he could'nt get a black bitch"

Is you serrrrrrrrious slim? Maybe she just dick a TAD bit better than you. You mad at Rebecca because she stole "Dewayne" from you? I'll be the FIRST black man to admit this about white women. I've liked them.. yeah. I probably wont marry one.. I wont have a child by one...But if I had 4 long islands, a pack of rubbers, and a good hour... And I knew she was bout it bout it...

Tell em Taye.

.. Im gone off that one. lol