Effort is all I ask.

Saturday, October 9, 2010
"Look, I just want to make you better
I think I could save you
But I think I'm bipolar. I love you then I hate you.
Grew with this dame though I hate whoever ain't you
Hate when I cant date you but I also need my space too
I made room for this love. How foolish of me
And every woman looking at you knew that you was lucky
So check the verse miss. I ain't say I'm perfect.
But you was low on love, what I do; reimbursed it
And now it hurts to be around or converse with ya
And what's worse is before this I had worse with ya
Now war missiles hand guns and grenades
The walls I couldn't break em or take em apart with a tank
Now momma told me be careful who you love
G said just rap it up, these bitches actin up
And as for us, we was different though.
Things have gotten difficult
Try to be Mr. perfect intercontinental, hold up
You spend your time with your friends all the time
And all that time with your friends put my momentum on decline
My minds gone evil. You changed with the season
You had a new clear heart. Guess I was Hiroshim"

See I wasn't going to do this, but I figured I'd mark this down as an L, close the chapter and never speak on it again. I let you do what you did. I tried to be a decent dude and keep my mouth shut out of respect for you and the situation. But they were right, you don't even do relationships, so I guess situation is a perfect word for it. I saw something in you. A lot in you. Enough in you. But now: You're just another girl lost. Now I've lost a lot of good women in my life, so it's about time I get the blunt of it finally. Truth be told: I just wanted to make you better. It wasnt the sex that had me caught up. I left other broads alone for you, put up walls and even stopped being who I was for you. That's gone.

Don't even know where you are with life right now. But I apologize. What happened was fucked up and I'll never be able to take that back. Ever. We don't even speak, for good reason. You were perfect, and even though it wasn't anything typical, it's what nobody else had that made me keep what I had. You. And I've accepted that. So accept my apology.

..Y'all, I'm just a man. At the end of the day to the point I put my jeans on one leg at a time. I'm trying to make things right now before it's too late. At 5:30, all I can think of are my faults. So: I'm establishing this here. If you feel some way, I apologize, this could be about you, it might not be. But heres my effort to start new. Fresh. Again. Each day gets better right?

We'll see. Miss me when I'm gone.