If you aint got no money, take your broke ass home.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Just got home from an outting. Can't even call the shit a date. Shit was fucking wack. Started out cool. Conversation the WHOLE ride there was good. Like there was even a thought of a possible second date. But... you know theres always some type of fuckery going on.

So... She shows up. Granted the first "outting" we went on. So we driving, she mentions that her tank is on E. I aint tripping because I don't pay for nobody gas. Fuck that shit. You decided to swing past my house, you better be clear, you made the drive. I know right now she's like "oh, I got a free meal out of him".. but I got a ride to and from. And the money ain't an issue. You driving a brand new car on an empty tank IS bew bew. Fuck is wrong with your noodle.

So....we end up at TGI Fridays by George Washington. She gets out the car like "you ready for this date?".. Sweetheart.. I dont date.

  • I Fuck
  • I drink
  • I party
  • Ipod
But I don't date. And to make matters worse I started "talking" to a girl today, so I had to make it clear that it was an outting between two friends that needed to get out the house. She obliged.

Cool. Conversation cool. But the bill comes. She looking at me, I'm looking at her, she looking at me, I'm looking at her. So I'm like "okay, where the fuck your funds?" She has no wallet. So I'm looking at this bitch real Cyclops like. So I'm like "fuck it, I got the bill, you pay the tip." This bitch don't even have cash. So i'm like "okay, how about you go ahead and just pay the tip with your card?". She dont' have your bank card.

Feeling almost bad for this broke, strangely strange ass bitch, I say fuck it, swipe my card, add the tab, and continue drinking my drink. Now Usher is singing the song at the Michael Jackson memorial at this point, so I'm like "I'm going to watch, make her wait on me. I dont give a fuck if she drove. This broad going to wait. Fuck her."

  • I continue to drink my Moquito. Fuck I look like. I fitted the bill. She went and downed her drink and was like "I may need one more drink". I kindly said "check please". Now me being the SMART drinker.. I want that buzz when I LEAVE that bitch. So I aint going to finish my cup til I'm bout to walk out the door. So needless to say.. she sat for 15 minutes while I took quiet sips of my drink.
  • She's asking me dumb questions like "am I mad". So me, I'm like "Umm yeah, next time, how about you bring yourself some money when you come out. Grown ass broke bitch.
BACKTRACK> BACKTRACK. It gets better. Oh fuck yes it gets better.

So slim is a waitress. And a teacher. Cool. So we are driving down Georgia Ave, and she pulls over, pulls out a sheet of paper, and writes her info down. I'm looking like "Wtf"..? She walks into the strip club.. Penthouse, and gives the security guard her info so she can wait tables there. Now I should've seen this as a sign, but I can't knock a broke bitches hustle.

Needless to say, my night was salty as shit. I've called myself some sex. I ain't going to sleep without a nut. Good night.


  • TiiNa F. BaYyBEe

    Oh hell no you good cause if I was a dude and some bitch pulled that shit on me I'm at least gettin some head or somethin out tha bitch cause that is just unforgivable. She came by yo house asking to go out so the bitch shooulda had some funds to cover her sporadic urge to go out.

  • The Pretty Brown Girl

    I have no business laughing @ this story, cuz really...this shit ain't funny.

    But ol' girl brought that on herself. She gave you the upper hand coming out broke. A real woman ALWAYS has her own money, no matter what the situation.

    Shit. Maybe she was lying about not having any. If she was, that's a long way to take it. If I had my own $$, I probably would've left you there sippin' that drink.