Dont worry bout it bitch, I know somebody like it

Sorry bout the delay.. Had work to do.

T-Pain cd bumping in the background....

Whats up. Damn, monday already though? Shit. Weekends aint really shit now. Seem like friday night short, and saturday is even shorter. So, let me go ahead and speak my mind. First off... skinny women. Please stop thinking because your skinny your a model. Trill talk. Sure, I throw a burger at you, you dont eat it. But lets make this clear.. A digtal camera and a dream aint going to give you what you desire. Build a portfolio. Gettign sick of 20% of my facebook friends being model. I know there are some LEGIT models that I'm friends with that have a clientele, a portfolio, and still maintain a dayjob. But these jaints that think modeling on a playground in boyshorts is modeling.. Come on now. We need more fat and plus sized models now that I think about it. Swear if I see that bitch Cassie in another Sean John ad imma scream. Dont get me wrong, give me a couple drinks, an ultra ribbed and a couple hours and I might change her stance...

Anyway. I had to sass a girl today, yet AGAIN. Basically she told me Gucci Mane was the best rapper in the South right now. Bitch is you bonkers?!? Now.. see, I would spell check that.. But i meant the way i said that. BITCH... is you... bonkers? Gucci Mane.. the best rapper? I dont even consider WAYNE the best rapper in the South. Let me find out you can rap about eating twat, smoking blunts, and use a T-pain autotune and be considered the best. Watch out for ME.. I'm giong to make a Autotune track called "That Shit on my voice". Imma blow up faster than Soulja Boy.


(Motherfucking right!)

I've also come to the conclusion... I want to fuck three people before I die. A white woman with money, Rihanna, and a midget. lmao. Wait... Did I just type that? Fuck it. I do. Now listen to my madness though. Rihanna... is a sexy bitch though. Stating the obvious.. And the rich white woman is obviously because I want to just lay a stack of fifty dollar bills on the bed and just pipe her on crisp new bills. No sheets. But the midget. Oh lord the midget. Or the "short" person. Whatever the proper terminology is. Let me explain though. I downloaded this porn last night, since you know, im Greg, I can do that. So the movie comes on, and man... this little 3 foot person had possibly the phattest ass I've ever seen in my life. At first I was like "Greg... that extra skin gotta go SOMEWHERE..", but nah... Her ass was phat. Let me give you an example. You ever seen a girl so phat that when she sit down, her ass like ooze out from the side? Thats her. Shit was wild. So homeboy is fucking her... and does THE wildest shit I've ever seen in my life. He was hitting a midget.. from the back.. on the bed.. and she was standing straight up. Man I aint know if I shouldve been excited.... Or disgusted at her anatomy.Then.. the worse happened.. He picked her ass up. You ever seen a bad ass kid toss a cabbage doll across a room? Well picture it. So now I have this wild infactuation about having my way with someone shorter than me. Dont laugh at me... Even though the shit is funny.

So.. I woke up this morning, and I found a new friend. Shes actually kind of nice. I been texting her majority of the day. No.. before you get any ideas, it aint that type party. I have enough on my plate to try a side dish.




Last night I went out to Ruby Tuesday.. and I have like the worse gas ever. Something they put in the food got me over here farting my ass off. You ever passed gas.. and the joint stunk so bad, you had to go to the bathroom to "correct" yourself? The fucked up part about the fart though... It smelled like somebody ELSEs joints. Dont act like it aint happen to you. You let one go.. and you be like "Damn.. that smell like Mike Fart". I was like "young.. That shit aint right". So i been flushing myself with water and alco-selser (sp.) all day long. I think I burned a whole in Debbi (white lady at my job) nostrils. I thought I was in the clear. Nobody was in the hallway.. so i was like "aww shit! I can fart, and walk the fart off by time I get back to my desk". I was mistaken. She comes out the kitchen (surprise to me).. and my lord, her face was like "shit.. did the sewer leak?"

I know.. TMI. But fuck you. This my shit. I'm going to go and get my bartending license too. White guy told me valuable information I needed to know. "Alcohol= 3 t's. Tips, Tricks, and twats. I literally seen this man pull three women off giving them a free long island. I was like "wait wait... what happened". He was like "I told her girlfriend if you buy one drink, I got your other two friends. Wholetime... the drink was 10.00, and the bottle to make the drink was 32.00, so she basically bought a whole new bottle. And I got her number". Shittttttt. Bout to get with it!

My Chargers lost...
The Redskins won.. GET THEE FUCK OUT OF HERE. My 9 year old cousin called me like "AY GREG! We going to the Super Bowl! *In her best DJ KHALID VOICE* WE THE BESSSSSSSSST"..

Come on now baby... You aint doing THAT much. Redskins can barely get out the preseason.

All Redskins fans.. fuck that.. Cowboy fans too for that manner... Can kiss my nuts after a scorching day of full court basketball. Chargers and Cardinals all day.

Sidenote #1: You see this? I'd hunch.

Sidenote # 2

That honesty box broad... I still aint heard from you baby. I guess you took a break from riding my dick. I guess it really is true. That drink is still available if you want it.

Can I Live?!? Weekend 9.12th-9.14th Blog

Damn, how was my weekend? Joint went by so quick it was like "okay... you here, now your gone". Felt like i bullshitted it through. First off, Sunday, went to the little work function, then went out to the bar. Someone.. *cough* was supposed to go with me, but instead went elsewhere. Cant knock that. So I went solo (as I do so often). I got invited to Fur.. of course, i laughed that off. So i get to the bar, and Matt (bartender) was like 'Greg, something aint right man, your swag aint even the same". I bought the cheapest drink possible, because honestly, didnt even feel like drinking. So i had something that was created, mixed. I need to start drinking straight liquor. But i dont have hangovers. I actually wake up EARLIER after getting shitfaced. Wholetime I'm at the bar, Justin is texting me about going to Georgetown, yet he never followed through. And I wasnt about to go out that way. So mind you... I already got to the bar at like what, 1115... By 1227 I was back up out the door.

Had to end up coming to the house to help my sister on a TV production assignment the next day. Picture that. Greg, HELPING somebody. Wholetime, I didnt heard much out the "liar". So I talked to one of my compadres, and they informed me that homegirl (a she obviously) was going to have someone go with her whereever she was going. I wasnt tripping. I cant hate on the next man for doing what he has to do. Thats bad business for a man of my stature to catch feelings, you know? Wholetime, a girl approaches me like... "Greg, you have too many women". I need to know exactly wats TOO many. I have a lot of people I speak to on the regular. Then I have a few people I may flirt with. Then.. I have zero that actually take the shit seriously. I charge it to the game, and accept the fact that it's still warm outside. But trust and believe, when the chill hits them... It'll pick up. I wouldnt mind going and devoting time to a worthwhile female. But aint nobody stepped up yet.

Okay... I guess its time for the jokes and the humor. Some of y'all might find this to be humor, I find it serious. I get a note in the mail from Kaiser saying "All your STD results came back negative." Man.. can you imagine the excitement on Greg's (yes, third person) face!?! Man I was so gitty it aint make no sense. I might just walk around with that shit taped to my chest. Now I know for a fact I dont act liek brett Favre, launching dick at recievers, wholetime, anything can happen. And i'm one of the most paranoid motherfuckers you'll meet in your life when it comes to shit that can alter your life. I knew a girl personally that was walking around with some shit that a dude gave her. I told her up front... Sweetheart, I cant chance it. I neglected even hugging her. Her cheeks may bleed, and rub on my skin,a nd an ingrowing hair can catch some of that shit. Anything. Fuck that.

Then... Im sitting here, having casual sex conversation (double negative, but fuck it) to a female about the most BASIC shit... and she lies. Are fibs the new truth? I know... I know "Greg, you've told lies before".. I have, and I'm tryingto be brutally honest.. But I have NO reason to lie about my body count, wholetime. Now I know for a fact a woman could be the ugliest bitch on the western hemisphere, and as long as her clit is functioning... shes getting some dick. And niggas cant fake, they've all had sex with a female that wasnt a model. You cant always get a winner. Matter of fact, girl in my high school years wasnt all that potent either. She was plump sized. Fuck that.. she was round. Nothing against big girls, because I love me thickums. She just did some dumb dumb dee dumb shit. Basically it was my last day at Summer School, and her and I fucked. I never nutted, and her mom was coming home soon, so I told her either flush the condom, or throw it out her bedroom window. Now... dont get me fucked up.. She lived in the hood... so a condom laying in an alley aint that farfatched. But back to the story... you think this girl did as instructed... NO.

So a couple weeks later we break up (was a summer thing I guess), and she catches feelings. She tells her mother that i took her virginity, and that she might be pregnant. (funny now, but definetly NOT then...) Im sitting there telling my family.. I DIDNT NUT INSIDE OF HER. SHE DIDNT MAKE ME NUT. Mind you, I wasnt even supposed to be at her house. but that day at Summer School, we just picked up our report cards and rolled out. Since her and I were serious at the time, she invited me over, we hunched and whatnot. Well see.. my pops didnt think I went to school that day.. So out of anger, I grab my backpack.. and guess what come flying out the side pocket...Yeah..

A safeway bag with the condom in it. Now I should be mad at the fact that I didnt check the backpack.. but wholetime im like "What type retard puts a fuck instrument in a plastic bag". That shit STUNK to all hell.

GOT to be more careful. They found out she was lying, and I got off. Thank God.

The moral of this story is.... Giving brain dont make you smart..

But I dont really have much else to say, as you can see.. thats my weekend, and my thoughts of it. So you have an idea of my thoughts and whatnot.Y'all have fun. Hopefully I'll have something to say tomorrow at work.

Dear Hater. Everyone has one! Feel Free To Read....

GOOD EVENING ALL!

You ever had somebody all in your shit on facebook? Like they monitoring your footsteps? Ever had one of your friends on here have some person they dating or talking to try to add you as a friend so they could see what the hype is all about? Matter fact.. what about somebody who writes in... YOUUUUU GUESSED IT.... HONESTY boxes. I sure have.

(FEEL FREE TO POST ANY HATE STORIES YOU HAVE)

The funny part... is honestly.. i dont give a shit about the facebook atmosphere... But i figured this should be the topic of discussion. Quite frankly... A lot of sneaky ass people on here are some quote on quote... bitches. And you know whats worse.... a FEMALE thats a bitch. And everybody knows... two bitches on top of each other is...Gay. So.. Let me tell my story. Im on here... doing my daily routine, blogging, chatting with randoms and old friends. Being myself. I personally feel like I shouldn't have enemies. But I get a notification about "1 new honesty box"... So im sitting here like "oh lord..Another anonymous person". Granted I dont get many of the Honesty box things because everybody knows you can say what you want to me up front. Aint no love lost.

So the honesty box message went like this:

------Honesty Box:"You talk alot about sex. You know when people brag it aint always popping. Pretty sure ur shit is wack"


Now.. Pink obviously tells you its a female... blue is a dude. So Im sitting here like "Damn...a female talking bout my dick like that?". My name is Greg, not gump... so i replied with sarcasm, like "Yeah... my shit is wack... im ashamed of myself. I cant stand it!".. Because frankly...I dont know WHO the fuck it is thats admiring me so much. I thought April was the month of fools, but seems like this person failed miserably in Kindergarten, learning the months on the calendar.

So sweetheart, darling, baby girl, toots... Why you have so much dismay in your heart? You wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and grieve your life so much, you hate others on the internet? I hope not. I'm trying to be very civil to you because its not in my heart to be evil about it. I even went, and DELETED honesty box.. so you could approach me and take off the internet mask that protects you. if you dont like me for whatever the reason is, let me know. We can work this out. Did I sleep with your sister in high school? Did i call your mom too late? Wait... Wait... I got it... YOU wanted to know if my sex was what it's hyped up to be! You saw my tongue and thought.. "Damn.. That man is funny, smart.. and got a long tongue.. But DAMN.. I cant type enough keystrokes to get close to him... shit! Let me hate".

Thats not the way you go about life sweetheart. Thats like me actually being MAD at you for giving me the attention... and saying FUCK YOU.. I HOPE YOU GET BREAST CANCER AND DIE IN YOUR SLEEP. But im Greg... I would never be that evil and cruel hearted. So what Im GOING to do... Is go out tonight. I'm going to buy two drinks. I'm personally having a Ciroc and Pineapple. And I'll even buy you one. We'll even go to a spot that has dim lights so we dont have to look each other in the eyes. How does that sound? Good? I know.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this letter I wrote to you. It took me a lot of time to admit my undying love for you. Lets agree to disagree that you've had your ten minutes of fame.

Sincerely,

Mr. Aye

Light skinned niggas aint been in style since 92

DISCLAIMER: Now dont get me wrong, the reason why the blog was posted was because friend of mine(light skinned) has the assumption that women prefer light skinned men because they know they will have good looking kids.

Come on now...Light skinned niggas aint been in style since Al B Sure was out. And even then....that nigga baby mother cheated on him with Diddy....what that tell you?
Lol. I'm a chocolate dude....and any female can tell you this...White chocolate aint got shit on dark chocolate. Y'all albino light skinned niggas will never...ever come back in style. Sure, y'all get some action because y'all are genetically able to produce a blue eyed black baby with no pigment...but that don't make y'all special.

Had a girl tell me last night that light skinned dudes go light on the pussy. Basically saying they are pretty boys in the bedroom. Now...don't get me wrong.... I have no problem with light skinned niggas...but my main issue...is this complex they have that they the flyest niggas out. Sure... Y'all can go to an all white party at Love and not even be mentioned....but that's invalid. I got a light skinned friend of mine... Favorite quote 'Greg, where the bitches'... Nigga its 930 at night...and I'm dark skinned...they aint checking for me. You go look for em, you easier to spot'.

Crazy shit though... I'm prone to dating light skinned women. (White is light skinned in a way too, aint it?). I've dated a couple brown skinned/dark brown females in my time, but something about a light skinned female turns me on. Especially those jaints with the tattoos. Like every girl I've come in contact with asks me if I have any tattoos. Real talk... What imma tattoo, my eyeballs? Only part of that able to get inked. Unless they started doing glow in the dark tattoos. But sometimes...I won't fake... I wish I was light skinned. I've noticed being fair skinned get you out of a lot of fucking trouble. Especially with women.

Girl I know called me a while back like 'oh damn! Greg...I'm mad as shit. I'm stranded at Hoffman theatre! What time ill'. So I'm like... 'Ughh...now maybe.’ So she's on the phone panicking, calling her mom and whatnot (who happens to be white). So a white dude walks out of the theatre like 'heyyy, you okay?'...she explains the situation, and surely enough, her mom allows her to go get a ride home.

(I hope he went and got some wop from her while burning his gas) Wop (verb) - getting the mouth o mighty.

Anyway...what's up with light skinned people being so fucking violent? Seriously. I'm sitting here listening to Plies cd...and if it aint bout fucking it’s: 'Nigga ima be up in yo buschessssssss'. Ol anger management ass niggas. Speaking of this nigga Plies... Why this man lying though? Sources telling me this nigga living his brother story. That's gangsta now? Then come to find out he graduated from Florida with top honors as an accounting major? Ha. That shit aint adding up.


But...back to you light skinned niggas. Amanda told me two nights ago... 'I prefer dark skinned dudes the way the sweat glisten all over they booooooody'. (Them exact words). I felt so proud to be black after that statement; I told her whenever I see her...imma give her a reacharound. Otherwise...I love dark skinned women too, but I just can't do the body bump with them. Because my grandfather used to tell me 'think of sex like the stock market. When you find an interest...diversify your bonds'. Basically that's elbonics for 'find you a woman that's family has more races than an Olympic track meet.’ And indeed I shall.

What....aint nothing else, lls. It’s Friday. Lol. Comment.

"Oh nah.. See... They just my 'play brother/sister"... right 9.11

First off... Check your boy.. Pee Wee's Adventures went off the air for a reason... Ban him. Ban him.



Lls. Funny shit. I was talking to Amanda about this last night, figured this would be the blog today. It’s like a pet peeve I have. Granted I have a nice looking group of friends, but I do not claim many to be 'play' anything. So we start speaking about how everybody has a "play brother/sister", and that they can't differentiate a 'sibling' and a 'friend' anymore. Sure...you may say 'oh yeah we known each other to me, he's' like a brother to me'....fuck that. Fuck you think you fooling.

I've had countless play sisters. Bitch aint give me no Christmas or birthday presents. Sound like she played the shit out of me. All that 'Play' shit is an excuse. Let me elaborate what 'play siblings' are. Its only three things it could be...


- A person of the opposite sex you weren't feeling that either: makes you laugh, good to hang with, tried to talk to you too son.
Or...
- A person who you USED to talk to, yet you can't rid them out of your lifestyle.

That's it. Aint no fancy punch lines. You weren't supposed to laugh.

Scenario: had a girl I was talking to heavy tell me... 'Oh I'mma call you back, my play brother spend the night'.



Cool...normally I don't care...but the fact that she called ME...spooked it. It’s almost like she was tossing the shit in my face. Not a problem. Cut the cunt off. 'Unforgivable'. I have NO intention of being any females play anything. The only things I play with are pussy, Xbox, and give or take, couple other things. Needless to say... Cut that play brother out. Call them a close friend....end of discussion.

As far as you niggas. I've got some startling news. Not all women cum from fucking. YES! Shocked the shit out of me too. So you gotta start doing tricks on they ass. Girl told me 'oh I don't cum, like ever'....that's one boring ass life. Me not nutting is like no good. I HAVE to have it everyday. Aint none of that celibacy shit. Fuck I look like depriving my fuckstick from taking a dive in the ocean of stroking? Girl I know was like 'I aint had sex in almost two years'....hahhhhhhn? (Say it in the lil wayne 'Mrs. Officer voice)...


Going two years without the hunch though? How do y'all do it. I can't do it at. Let me tell you how I look at sex. Cause the shit is rather turning me on right now. Might have to take off work early... But, basically sex to me is like some a museum of orgasmic paintings. (That sounded good as shit...quote that). But you ever gone to an art museum or seen a photo somewhere... The photo looked like a three year old tossed paint at it and smeared it....but that shit is worth millions? That's how I see it. My dick is the paintbrush, and the art board is of court....the thing underneath her abdomen. And I have been practicing Picasso for a while. Sometimes... I can sketch a photo REAL quick.. Then sometimes...that masterpiece might take me a couple hours. (Let that marinate, I'm dropping scripture here)...

You can tell who's had some cutty lately though. Just look at the white girl in your classroom or work today. You wonder why she's all jumpy, and waving, saying hello to homeless people, petting random animals? Yes... Somebody tore her little peephole out the frame. (Need me a white woman. All inquiries...greaye@aim.com).

-Random- what the fuck is lil Wayne saying on 'misunderstood? This nigga just said...
It doesn't make you a good person to criticize before you improvise'...'Doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but the characteristics fall heavily in the baddest way'....tell y'all boy to please take the piercings out his head, and let that bullshit leak out the holes.

Other topics... I'm on the bus this morning... See a girl from the back. Bad as shit. White two piece suit, with an ass. I'm sitting here looking with the stumped face like 'I know she farts stink' (something I say when I see a female with a phat ass. It’s true. Y'all donkey butt ladies butts be smelling like shit rubbing on sandpaper.) But basically I'm over here grabbing at myself like damn....all I need is a long island, 30 minutes, and a bottle of water. So I'm curious to see her face....and she turns around. Mannnnnnnnnn when I tell you she was ugly, I mean it. Her face looked like shrek put a semester of school books in a pillowcase and slapped herself with it,

I'm sorry...my standards too damn high for me... I will write more when I get some time in my day... The white people have me ripping and running at work today. I love them for making my paycheck that much easier to get (sarcasm). Got a MEAN craving for Chipotle today for some reason…

Reggie Bush.. your a lucky nigger. I'd fuck her with a condom with punctured holes...



Ski season coming up soon too... Anybody coming with me? The air up there... yes.

I Hate them pornos with them weird ass CAMERA ANGLES! 09.10 Blog.

Yeah... today’s blog is long... Sit back and coast through it. Do me a favor... If you subscribe to the notes... I won’t have to keep tagging... Easier on me.

Random shit that pisses me off. When people are like 'I don't like the Metro'. The fuck is wrong with public transportation. You bitch and moan about gas, yet hate public transit? Had a discussion with a friend, she's like 'I just don't like it'. No specific reasoning. She knows it gets you anywhere in the dmv area....but for some reason....
She hates it. Crazy shit.

Which leads me to this whole situation. I currently...do not have a car. Hence...Metro opens doors. I go to the bar, club, dates, work, whatever...THAT way. I've had my share of hoopties given to me. Came and gone. Maybe I need to go and get a car again since people feel more liberated with car keys. It just is crazy the friends that I
have...new cars, new apartments... But struggling. You LIKE to live like that? Sure...you and your boo boo can go to Arundel Mills, and you can fuck from wall to wall in your luxury apartment with just a bed, couch, TV, and a bathroom. But once the smoke clears...you still a nigger...struggling.

This broads status on facebook is currently. 'Ugh..school- 2000, rent-1250, phone-150, insurance-500, clubbing all weekend- priceless.'

Meanwhile... Main profile photos got her popping travel sized bottles of Rose'.

Fuck is your priorities at? That's like me going to a party, and pouring out perfectly good liquor on the floor. Your dead homies dead for a reason. Aint none of them niggers thirsty. If they are, tell them wait until it rain. I gotta marry me Oprah or somebody with a six figure income. Because I can't see me...grown ass man doing the dumb shit I've seen and heard.

Niggers- Ultra Thin condoms. Please stop loving these girls, trapping them, going raw. Partner of mine fell for the 'cute light skinned
MySpace girl' type. Now... Homeboy got 18 years. 18 years.


(Random plug!)

---6570 days. Six thousand...five hunned, seventy days.--- now add what...9 days for leap year...

Was that nut worth that?

Lauren London...you don't count...I'd reproduce seven kids with you and name them Monday through Sunday....

Back to other shit... Somebody asked me to speak on a subject. 'Niggas that lie'.

I've lied before. And I admit it. Sue me. I cheated, it happens. I told a girl I loved her in high school just for some head (sorry...NOTTTTTT *Borat Voice*). I'm a man. But I was trying to rectify that shit. I've been on the straight and narrow since getting out of my last relationship. Sad had to end in order to figure out all the dumb shit I was doing... But still.

But dudes lie because it’s not in our nature to tell the truth. I've told women lies personally to go and defend their own hearts. What it look like for me to be on the phone like 'oh yeah... I'm sitting here with her.'? I've done the most. Now. I honestly don't care. Used to keep my phone on vibrate at a female house. Now... joint rings I look and I put it down. Until a female pays the bill that comes in monthly... Her say so don't really matter.

Meanwhile... Women do lie to. And are fucking great at it. Example: called a girl last night. Here's the scenario:

Her; Hello?
Me: what's up. You called me?
Her: Yeah I was checking up on you, seeing how you been. I seen you on
facebook. Flirting. Lls.

(At this point...I already know the only reason she's calling is because I'm 'interesting' right now with these blogs. Its been like this a lot lately. I got 2800+ friends. Sometimes I speak and they asses don't even reply. So I guess she sees the movement is moving and thinks she can jump on the bandwagon. NOPE....but...No biggie.)
Continued.

Me: I'm just chilling. The blogs help me get through the day
Her: You could talk to me.
Me: Yeah I could. But last time I checked, your man requested me off
this joint thinking me and you was hunching (my term for fucking)
Her: Nah, he cool people. He said he likes your blogs...
-----------------

My name is no longer Greg. From now on...when you see me...call me Boo. And say it twice when you call me it. Why?....because this birch canue (my friendly term for bitch) must think I'm Boo Boo the fucking fool. I was born on a day...not YESTERDAY. You know?

Random thought. I need a woman with tattoos. Like a lot of them. I was on freak mode last night...figured 'fuck it....let me download some porn'. Wireless internet took damn near forever...so I was downloading like 9,10 flicks at a time. Laugh at me if you want... I need the PERFECT porno. Aint nothing worse then watching a porno....and the girl getting beat from the back....then that faggit ass cameraman want to toggle to the angle from under the dudes nutsacks. Fuck that bitch ass nigga. I'm not interested in having my 17 inch computer screen showing a wide screen shot of balls. Get back to the pussy.

So I'm turn off that scene...and the new scene comes on. Girl had a tattoo on her thigh wrapped around to her ass. And then the newest sensation that got me harder than R.Kelly trying to start a day care. She had a pussy piercing. My lord take me NOW. If it was against the law...I'd be in jail for 5 to 10. Because I truly did rape her with my eyes.

Where do they FIND these bitches! Excuse me...I'm only calling them bitches...because they made a career from sucking dick and taking nut to the abdomen. Sometimes I find myself like googling for 'sexy ass broads in porns'. Like Roxy Reynolds (yes I know names).....I promise you....if I see her outside after daylight...I'm going to strap on my all terrain Rubbermaid trash bag...and fuck her.

I would like Pinky...but that bitch went from 'plickity pow, plickity pow'...to porky pig. Seen her at a porn promotion for 'Black Girls Get Nasty 2' in Capital Heights. Man...swear on a stack of potatoes that bitch looked like that little pink pokemon that sings.

Now...to conclude...what's the most freak nastiest porn you seen? Don't fake like you aint seen none. Especially those of yall that like "anal" *cough Lauren...cough*.

The one that takes the cake for me... 'Fucked up facials'....man...I'm thinking its going to be on some discreet, white man fucking to elevator music, then gently apply the lotion to her grill. Oh nooooo. One youngin face looked like they poured wet candle wax from her horehead...shit was wild...

People Still Selling Sex Dreams? Lies, Tales, & Condria.. Part 1

Okay. I've been trying to work around making this topic.. But it has to be done. Ladies, women, girls, bitches, whores, hoes, hos, tramps, skallys, cunts, twats, pussies, vagina, infants, embryoes... PLEASE... Please.. Fuck that...

Correct underwear.Need I elaborate? Fuck it, i will. If your a skinny chick.. Wearing boyshorts, and hiking your leg up when you take photos to make it look like you got some ass.. you aint fooling nobody babe. Trust me. I've seen my share of photos. Done done it all. [no shawty Lo, but still]. Fat women.. The thongs... come on now. If I wanted to see what a brown skinned peace sign looked like upside down.. I'd google it.

Stretch marks, wide asses, and dimples aint cute.

THIS... Sexy.


So I had a female send me a message a couple weeks ago (most of y'all already know)... that said "Ooh I like your tongue. I wanna squat on your face and spin in a circle".. Come on now. Was that necessary baby? I think not. I threw up in my mouth a little bit at the thought of a pussy on my face. Because that means an asshole is staring directly into my eyeballs. And that WONT fly. I deleted her ass soon as she requested me too. Ughkk man. Shivers at the thought of a fat chick griding her love canal on my chin. Crikies.

Niggas.. Stop telling these females you going to beating the pussy up too. Give them something to strive for. Tell them the truth. Tell them that first round.. you going to have to get adjusted so you might not last that long. Because I've had a girl tell me that one of my boys been rapping to her on the low low... so she tested him out... and said that she seen Super Bowl commercials last longer. WELL DAMN. Niggas going in the pussy frustrated as shit. hahahahahahahaha. Aint nothign wrong with taking your time. When you feel like your stomach getting tight, and that left leg knotting up.. pull out! Dont be ashamed or gaining your composure. Sure.. every female want the shit fucked out of them.. But same time.. a three minute beat fest, with no cum, no orgasm is just a waste of perspiration. Real talk. I'll take an L for taking my time. I wont even yap yap about it though.


Females... Stop with that "i got the wettest pussy" line too. Or "i got that good good". Word to the wise.. Theres nothing you can say while naked that a nigga is going to pull his pants up and walk out the door. you can say your pussy come with a silver lining, and cashmere carpets.. that dude just about getting savage with you. Example. Way way way way way way way way way way back when I was on freak mode around 15, 16. Girl preached her sermon about her pussy leaking, and that her nickname was Niagra.. Booooooyeeeeee stooooooooooooooop. So i did the index test. Put a finger in it... Promise you... I got four splinters when I pulled it out. No bullshit, shit was drier than Rick Ross beard.

This was just a public service announcment to let y'all know.. TELL THE TRUTH about your sex. If you out here fucking, wrap it up... but dont lie about it. I know a lot of grown ass men telling women they waiting for wifey. Yeah okay. And Michael Jackson got smooth chocolate skin, and is a subtitute teacher at an all boys school. Fuck outta here.

Letter to my Lover--- (Tagged you baby boo).. YES Dee.. Im slutting myself out to her.

Lauren... You know I was going to tag you in this. With your bossy ass. Im letting the whole world know.. When i meet you.. its on. How T.I. Aint cheat on Tiny with you, I dont know. I would cut off my right arm long as I could be left with you girl. You finer than a white mans tax return. Whew lordy... I'f you were a letter, I'd write outside the margins.. You hear MEEEEEE.