Dont worry bout it bitch, I know somebody like it

Monday, September 15, 2008
Sorry bout the delay.. Had work to do.

T-Pain cd bumping in the background....

Whats up. Damn, monday already though? Shit. Weekends aint really shit now. Seem like friday night short, and saturday is even shorter. So, let me go ahead and speak my mind. First off... skinny women. Please stop thinking because your skinny your a model. Trill talk. Sure, I throw a burger at you, you dont eat it. But lets make this clear.. A digtal camera and a dream aint going to give you what you desire. Build a portfolio. Gettign sick of 20% of my facebook friends being model. I know there are some LEGIT models that I'm friends with that have a clientele, a portfolio, and still maintain a dayjob. But these jaints that think modeling on a playground in boyshorts is modeling.. Come on now. We need more fat and plus sized models now that I think about it. Swear if I see that bitch Cassie in another Sean John ad imma scream. Dont get me wrong, give me a couple drinks, an ultra ribbed and a couple hours and I might change her stance...

Anyway. I had to sass a girl today, yet AGAIN. Basically she told me Gucci Mane was the best rapper in the South right now. Bitch is you bonkers?!? Now.. see, I would spell check that.. But i meant the way i said that. BITCH... is you... bonkers? Gucci Mane.. the best rapper? I dont even consider WAYNE the best rapper in the South. Let me find out you can rap about eating twat, smoking blunts, and use a T-pain autotune and be considered the best. Watch out for ME.. I'm giong to make a Autotune track called "That Shit on my voice". Imma blow up faster than Soulja Boy.

(Motherfucking right!)

I've also come to the conclusion... I want to fuck three people before I die. A white woman with money, Rihanna, and a midget. lmao. Wait... Did I just type that? Fuck it. I do. Now listen to my madness though. Rihanna... is a sexy bitch though. Stating the obvious.. And the rich white woman is obviously because I want to just lay a stack of fifty dollar bills on the bed and just pipe her on crisp new bills. No sheets. But the midget. Oh lord the midget. Or the "short" person. Whatever the proper terminology is. Let me explain though. I downloaded this porn last night, since you know, im Greg, I can do that. So the movie comes on, and man... this little 3 foot person had possibly the phattest ass I've ever seen in my life. At first I was like "Greg... that extra skin gotta go SOMEWHERE..", but nah... Her ass was phat. Let me give you an example. You ever seen a girl so phat that when she sit down, her ass like ooze out from the side? Thats her. Shit was wild. So homeboy is fucking her... and does THE wildest shit I've ever seen in my life. He was hitting a midget.. from the back.. on the bed.. and she was standing straight up. Man I aint know if I shouldve been excited.... Or disgusted at her anatomy.Then.. the worse happened.. He picked her ass up. You ever seen a bad ass kid toss a cabbage doll across a room? Well picture it. So now I have this wild infactuation about having my way with someone shorter than me. Dont laugh at me... Even though the shit is funny.

So.. I woke up this morning, and I found a new friend. Shes actually kind of nice. I been texting her majority of the day. No.. before you get any ideas, it aint that type party. I have enough on my plate to try a side dish.

Last night I went out to Ruby Tuesday.. and I have like the worse gas ever. Something they put in the food got me over here farting my ass off. You ever passed gas.. and the joint stunk so bad, you had to go to the bathroom to "correct" yourself? The fucked up part about the fart though... It smelled like somebody ELSEs joints. Dont act like it aint happen to you. You let one go.. and you be like "Damn.. that smell like Mike Fart". I was like "young.. That shit aint right". So i been flushing myself with water and alco-selser (sp.) all day long. I think I burned a whole in Debbi (white lady at my job) nostrils. I thought I was in the clear. Nobody was in the hallway.. so i was like "aww shit! I can fart, and walk the fart off by time I get back to my desk". I was mistaken. She comes out the kitchen (surprise to me).. and my lord, her face was like "shit.. did the sewer leak?"

I know.. TMI. But fuck you. This my shit. I'm going to go and get my bartending license too. White guy told me valuable information I needed to know. "Alcohol= 3 t's. Tips, Tricks, and twats. I literally seen this man pull three women off giving them a free long island. I was like "wait wait... what happened". He was like "I told her girlfriend if you buy one drink, I got your other two friends. Wholetime... the drink was 10.00, and the bottle to make the drink was 32.00, so she basically bought a whole new bottle. And I got her number". Shittttttt. Bout to get with it!

My Chargers lost...
The Redskins won.. GET THEE FUCK OUT OF HERE. My 9 year old cousin called me like "AY GREG! We going to the Super Bowl! *In her best DJ KHALID VOICE* WE THE BESSSSSSSSST"..

Come on now baby... You aint doing THAT much. Redskins can barely get out the preseason.

All Redskins fans.. fuck that.. Cowboy fans too for that manner... Can kiss my nuts after a scorching day of full court basketball. Chargers and Cardinals all day.

Sidenote #1: You see this? I'd hunch.

Sidenote # 2

That honesty box broad... I still aint heard from you baby. I guess you took a break from riding my dick. I guess it really is true. That drink is still available if you want it.