Female: "Oh, I like strip clubs, I think you should give them all you can"

Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Let me first tell you what I think of Strippers. I know a few. So I will put it like this.

You could be my best friend, I'd love you to death. We could hang out, catch a movie, ride bikes, all the friendly shit all my white friends do. HOWEVER, at 10:30, when Poosie Poppas and you put on that garder belt. Bitch you are a stripper. I dictate what you do. You are not an exotic dancer. You have no clients. I dont care if you are in a recession and needed a job. I need money my damn self, but I dont go around smacking my dick at bachorette parties.

So MISS me with the "Strippers should be respected". Fuck that. When you get that Doctorine, 12 times out of 11, Exotic Dancing will NOT be in your training, history, or object field on your resume.


One thing I will NEVER do again in my lifetime. Take a "feminist" to the strip club.

Scenario goes as such. Close female to me decides to bring her friend with us. Granted, its a monday night, we all are coming from seeing the Wizards lose, so we are invited by my buddy buddy's friends. He just so happened to be a bouncer. We got in free, but had to pay for a drink. I drunk at the game, and paid out the ass, so I had NO intentions of pulling out my wallet again. At all. So I go ahead and buy the drink anyway for my and buddy buddy. Yeah, I was wrong for not buying the drink for the other females, but it was monday, and honestly, I figured they could handle the drink minimum of one drink. I did get them at the game, so I thought nothing of it. She did. SO i apologize, didn't mean anything by it. I just rather not spend all my money by hump day.

Moving right along. We get to the table we are all going to sit at, and the bullshit begins. One after one, the strippers come out, beach towel in hand, and commist to dancing. Cool. Whats wrong with a little pussy hanging out at the beginning of the week, right?

A lot. For one, one of the strippers didn't deserve a tip. I found myself diggin in my slacks for pocket lent that was clumped up enough to throw at her. Because she didn't deserve the president in my pocket.

Sidenote: The strip club didn't even have an ATM. So I ask them "wheres the ATM", the bartender is like "Oh, its up the street". The fuck? I'm here to see the poosie. Why the fuck I'm going to take an intermission before the pussy does? Get it together.

Sidenote #2: The bartender was ass. You can tell it was somebody's aunt that's niece danced, and she monitored. No bullshit. Let me explain to you how she managed to make a Malibu and pineapple. In order:

- She took a shot glass, poured the malibu in it.
- She took an IHOP orange juice glass, poured ice and pineapple in it.
- Handed me both glasses.

So, I have to go ahead and make my own drinks? Beytch, I could go ahead and do this shit myself.

I digress. SO we get back to the table, and the annoying girl, we will call her "Gabby", for lack of better words. She waits until me and her friend leaves to say slick shit.

Gabby:"Oh, why you aint tipping these girls? You dont think they worth it?"
Me: No. I work just as much as they do. Plus they go to Howard.
Gabby: How you know?
Me: I know 3/4ths of the strippers in here. Matter fact, my man's side dish is right there on the table.
Gabby: Why you clocking her?
Me: I know her. Why YOU aint tippin?

[Inaudible]. Basically saying her broke ass goes quiet. Our friends return. So I'm talking shit about her to my friend, and she is talking shit about me to our friend who we both know. Not an issue with me. I was annoyed with her when she got in the car talking about how she was going to get on stage. Bullshit. So "B" goes to get herself some ones, and comes back to the table. so her and "V" are at the table tossing them at the only stripper that looked decent. Mainly because she had her titties done, and had a phat ass. But in all honestly, her and Plies must have the same dentist.

So, I'm annoyed at the little smirks Gabby is giving me. It got to the point I went and laughed at her when she said "these girls are in here working hard, give them some money. I'm irritated at everybody in here just SITTING here"

DISCLAIMER: The entire time, she didn't pay for NONE of her drinks, didn't toss ONE dollar, but had the MOST shit to say. But she "likes strip clubs".

I would put the rest, but I'm pretty much annoyed at the fact she came. Then hes a lightweight. She drunk a shot glass cup of Hennessey, and had a beer. But she was drunk. I'm sitting in the car on the ride back like "I wonder if she gets superpowers and can see through walls after two patron shots and some grey goose"