Gear Grinders, Edition I

Monday, February 16, 2009
You know how some people just have things that piss them off? Well I have plenty. Periodically I might compile a list of these things. While some may sound harsh, racist, sexist... fuck it. They are my thoughts.. clearly I'm entitled to those. So fuck you, let me be. As the world turns:

  • Animal Kingdom tights on women: Sure, to you the shit may or may not be cute. This is coming from a man who takes pride in loving women with liquid leggings. However, wearing Simbas daddy's skin on your thighs... Not a good look. Change it.
  • Women with body Odor: Its a lot of them. Plenty actually. Now, it may not be their fault, however... there are WAY more feminine products for women to spray their leaky region than there are for men. We dont have nut deodorant. [Sidenote]: Axe is NOT the cure. It will give you rashes, break out, and or have a man itching for the remander of the day. So if you have a man, tell him, wash ass, dont pray products. Scents & Must dont mix. Lesson of the day.
  • Circuit City: I see exactly why they went out of business. No reason in the fuck why you raise the prices 35% of all your shit, then try to say 40% off. If theres one thing I learned from Mr. Polk... basic math. That shit dont add up.
  • Karma: Swear sometimes it happens, and that bitch wont go away. Luckily I've had enough rounds in the ring with her I've learned to counter the punches.
  • Women in heels who totally neglect the heel and/or ankle: Like when you lotion your leg.. go ALL the way down. Seriously. No reason it looks like you bathe in Original Scent Absorbent Baby Powder....with Chamomile. Get it together.
  • Valentines Day: The only holiday I try to sleep through to get it over with. Usually I'm like "fuck it Greg, let people have their day".... But its completely different when dudes are hitting me up like "Son, you know where I can find a Tiffany's bracelet?" You been with her since you got back from Winter break. If the pussy is good, excite her, switch up to vibrating condoms. No need to go broke for love.
  • People who type using numbers and letters: D!$ $hyt h3re i$ confusing. You realize by the time you did all that, I've sent 10 text messages back and forward, right?
  • Ihop PERIOD: First off, the seats. The most uncomfortable shit ever. Even more while sober. Last night me and a friend went in there, I swear, the cushion had paper and rocks in it. To top the shit off, dont you hate when your getting seated, EVERYBODY and their mother has to stare you down? Fuck faces, mugs, the whole nine. Focus on your french fries bitch. Why you watching my moves?
  • People with Last-Generation cell phones: 2009. Cameras come in Nokias now. Why your phone dont have one? Better yet.. why is your phone prepaid? "You currently have 19 minutes of talk time". Seriously. Fuck all that "I dont like to be that in contact with people". It will get your ass deleted. You got on $400 shoes, with a Tmobile to go phone. C'mon fool.
  • Criminals: With all the fucking CSI-type shows out... how the fuck are people robbing banks, yet leaving their wallets. Let me find out theres also a recession in brain molecules.
Do better.


  • LMAOOOO! Greg, this shit was hilarious...and so true....omg I am over here rollin'...good, true shit my dude...