Underestimating myself, and the things beyond my control

Friday, February 27, 2009

This "Lent", I've told myself I would give up the following:

Facebook statuses
Fast Food

Granted, the Facebook statuses should be easy. No need for letting the world know what I'm up to that oftemn [at least for forty days]. So I figure such... Exactly what can possibly happen in the lext forty days? Not much the way some shit is going. I wont speak on much of it, lets just say a lot of mirrors aint reflecting, and some actions given aren't residual. So I've inherited a "oh really" complex in the past 114 hours. Being optimistic is for bitches, and accountants, I'm neither, moral of that story is, this lent should be interesting...to say the least.

With alcohol, I figure I wont "stop", but I'll limit myself. Now that I think about it, I need to change that category. Alcohol has been my friend when Dee or Netta haven't picked up their phones. And porn. Porn....THAT is something I can give up for forty days and 39 nights.

Facebook statuses
Fast Food

This seems like a more logical thing for me. I shouldn't be watching the porn anyway. Since renouncing my "sex claim", after doing it for the first time in weeks, lets just say, I've mustered up the passion of trying to do it multiple times. Sure, its happened before, but not this way. No no. It got to the point where midway through the initial nut, I asked if she was ready again. Even I caught myself pausing and seeing my reflection in the pillow like 'guy, take a break'.

All of this takes account of the porn. I see these "superstar pussy pounders" going for it, and even though I'm sure they have comercial breaks, and coffee sit downs midway through the transition from missionary to doggystyle, in the movies themselves, it all looks like one big ass scene, and one scene [a good one] can last from 30 minutes, to an hour. I saw a squirting scene with Jada Fire, that lasted so long, Fresh Prince went off twice, George Lopez was midway through its episode, and my phones battery went from 20% to 87%. Wild, right? Moral of this story is, the more you masterbate, and the more you watch porn, the longer you produce in the bedroom. Its not a fact YET, but I know some dudes can agree.

With the fast food, its just that, no "brokeback mountain"...but I'm pretty much tired of running to the bathroom. I've harmed plenty of tissue paper as a result of mcdonalds and chipotle. Once and a blue moon is fine, but that Mcdonalds shit everyday.. hefty on the wallet, and makes your ass leak something fierce. Sure... you aint want to hear that, I told you. What you going to do about it? Precisely. So for forty days, Mcdonalds, Wendys, Burger King, Chinese, all them spots that dont have a "fax order and pickup".. are off limit. [Stephanie... yes, that BBQ place is too. Shit had me on the toilet soon as I got back to my office.]

I was going to give up pussy, vagina, and persuing women for 40 days, however the current female I'm engaging in, is.. well I dont know. Wont speak on that, moving along. But far as sex and vaginal pleasures, I've gone without it for long enough. It actually makes me pretty sane after having a bedroom battle royale. Like all the weight of the work week is no matter after having sex. If I have a "steady", every two sundays, just like church, I'm expecting penetation. So monday morning, I can walk into work off my George Jefferson swag, smiling ear to ear like one of my tagged photos from LOVE on a Friday.

It took me three years to realize this one thing though. A lot of women arent the issue. I am. Yes, I said it. Now.. Before 2008, I was a taken man, like I had no care in the world. I had no point in clubbing on Fridays, because I was fucking by time the guestlist closed. I didnt have to call anybody and engage in getting to know them because I had all that. Pretty much, I was spoiled since I was 18. Now that I'm 22, I've noticed the "dating game" has changed. In high school you could write a letter, or simply talk to a female for a couple days, weeks, whatever, and bam.. y'all got something started. Not in 2009...

Seems like you have to have a developed strategy in order to even get decent conversation out of people. Shit wasn't like that less than 5 years ago.

"Blame it on the in-in-in-in-innanet."

But thats neither here nor there. I'm having writers block. When I feel like continuing, I will.


  • Untouched Jewel

    You are absolutely correct. I'm 28, and yes even from as soon as 3 years ago the dating game has changed. I've been single for 4. Damn shame. SMH.
    It kinda sucks when you gotta start over from scratch tryin to find the one person you know you'd get along well with. Sad.