New sex positions for the year 2009. Feel free to read.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Figured new year is coming soon. And i'm sure you and your partner have been trying to do some new freaky things. So... Without further wait... Allow me to show you.. the 09 sex positions & names:

Now first off... I know you all know...

dirty sanchez:
sex act where one smears dookie under the nose of one's partner by application of the penis in the form of a mustache following anal.

tossing the salad:
anal oral sex

One that's new to me:

Strawberry ShortCake

When you bust off on a chicks face and punch her on the nose, making her bleed...

But this is the NEW shit.

Rusty Trombone:
The act of a girl eating out a guys ass and jerking him off at the same time.

Dangling Chandelier:
The act of a woman laying on her back, with her legs above her, and the guy on top balancing himself on top.

Cleveland Steamer:
The act of taking a dump on your partners chest / mouth [serram wrap is optional]

Candy Cane Kiss:
The act of eating out your partner after releasing your load inside of them while they are on their period.

Donkey Punch:
Inserting your penis inside your partners anus, and right before you orgasm, give them a swift punch in the back of the head, it will cause their anal cavity to tighten, and increase pleasure while you orgasm

The Houdini:
Penetrate your partner doggy style, before you orgasm, pull out and spit on their ass, once they turn around you orgasm in their face (also known as the "now you see me, now you dont)

While your partner sleeps, you pull out your package, place your testicles over their eyes, and let your penis flop over their nose

Snow Mobile:
While you penetrate your partner while she's on all 4, pull her hands back from under her, and have her face smack the bed / floor / pillow, have someone take a picture, and it will look like you're riding a snowmobile.

Pink Sock
This is the result of excessive anal plundering; the intestines actually exit through the anus, forming a dangling mass, resembling a pink sock.

Ride The Bull

When you are pounding a chick in the ass, reach around and grab onto her titties and yell "I HAVE AIDS!", then try and stay on as long as you can.

Bucking Bronco:
While you're doing your partner doggy style; purposely say her best friends / sisters name. As she tries to push you off, try your best to stay on.

The Pirate
When you are about to nut, kick her dumd hard in the leg and bust in her eye. Thus the jumping on one leg and her cupping one eye

The White Dragon
thats when a girl is sucking your meat and your about to nut and you slam her head down onto your shit..and have the cum spray out of her nose

Tombstone Nut Buster- We all have watched wrestling one time or another. So you grab a shorty and turn her upside down then stand up so she sucks you off and her feet is in the air. Then when you about to bust a nut you just drop her on her head.

Mid Air BJ ( Plane Needed )- While you convincingly tell your parter there is nothing wrong with this. You get her to sign up for sky diving lessons and when you jump out the plane you get her to suck you off while floating back down to earth..

Birdie-Style- You start off in a doggy style position. Then from there you put her legs on your shoulders and then insert penis, then grab her by her arms and just pump away

the spider-man:-Cum on ur hand and sling it at her face in a web like fashion

eiffel tower - when two quys are hitting it from both ends and they hiqh five each other over her head looks like a mock eiffel tower

Eyes wide shut: Blowing your load on a chicks face [mainly on or around her eyes, which would cause partial blindness] smacking her hard as hell [face or ass], and run to hide in a corner with a camera [optional] and watch her try to find you.

The suicide bomber- While recieving a blowjob tell your girlfriend that she is the worst fuck ever, and that she dosent know how to please you.

ralph macchio sperm a chicks tits and rub it in with the head of your dick sayinq wax on wax off wax on wax off

auschwitz dutch oven a chick while qettinq head - qas em til they pass out

muff trumpet eat a chick out and blow real hard into her muff then press her stomach down and make her muff toot like a trumpet

Snowball- when a girl goes down on her guy and he cums in her mouth, then she goes back up and kisses the guy and dumps the load back into his mouth