I'm just trying to make myself better, yet you're giving me your worse.

Monday, January 26, 2009
Another day at work. Sitting here listening to "Cant get tired of me" by Bow Wow & Omarion. Joint got me feeling some kind of way. No matter how much the album flopped, I can say this one track made me respect the both of them a whole lot more. But yeah.. thats just a random though. I'm trying to collect my conscience. Bear with me.

"Your task is to be true, not popular." (Luke 6:26)


That quote right there is the main reason why I started distancing myself from a lot of the frivulous stuff I've been around. Prime example: Social Networking. I lost a sense of reality in some cases. Like I get to work at 9am DAILY. By 10am, I would've already been heavy on facebook. So as a remedy, I backed up off it. Shit was time wasted. I developed an "internet persona". Consumed by a keyboard. Never thought I'd be the one to say no shit like that, but who doesnt? If you say you haven't, your a fucking liar, and I think your mother should have swallowed you. [Im joking. I ked.]

So I sat down, trying to slowly but surely avoid people. And want to hear something funny? When your not "visible" to some people, they make it their business to try to figure out why you arent active in their live. Granted one woman. Cool as shit. We fucked, it was good. Some reason the distance got further, and the words became shorter. Its cool, I understand. We'll call her "CBS" [Constantly bullshitting]. Everytime I hit her in the past, 3, 4 weeks, the conversation seemed one sided. So lately I've been getting the shift. Cool. Understood. I can function off that.

However. I get messages that made me be like "umm... okay, what you need NOW".

Her: I know your prob sleep, but just wanted u to know u were on my mind. Wanted to say "hello"
Me: Hello.
Her: I'll hit you tomorrow if your not busy, and we'll chat.

  • Shit like this scares me. Makes me think either she's pregnant, or she's in need of affection.

  • When I wanted the affection, I was thrown shade. 808's and heartbreaks. So now since then, I'm like "next".

I'm scared of two things. Committment & a woman who HAS to be smarter than the man that she pursues. Like I'm happy your smart, great. You can read a paragraph, and form complete sentences without cursing at the end of all of them. I love it. HOWEVER.. the one thing that is a pet peeve to me, is one of those renessance circa 1986 Queen Latifah, "Ladies First", revolution of the "No cash, no ass" types. So when a female approaches me

  • With intentions of trying to belittle me over her going to Howard, or some HBCU.

  • Immediately feels like she is obligated to say how "sex wont be coming easy"

  • What shes "used" to getting...

I shake that bitch. Your privledged to breathe the oxygen I inhale. I'm a great man, so miss me with that dumb shit. [sorry i'm about to go on a tangent.]

Dont think your smarter than the rest of the world, let say dumb shit like "I'm used to conversating with lame men. They cant conversate about anything but fucking."

Converse is NOT just a sneaker you ignorant twat. Lets flip to the C section of the dictionary. Converse > Conversate > Conversating.

Just cause your a psychology major doesnt necessarily mean you can read people.

By the way..

I hate when women that are psych majors feel as though since they've taken two course requirement classes about "Psychology", had a few arguments in a classroom, you are immediately the "final diction" on life. Sure, numbers dont lie, but if your reference is a book that tells percentages from 1997...

You've been swindled.

[i.e. "Well, I know 86% of men cheat because they feel as though they cant be tied down. We talked about it in class today"]

If I told you 85% of the women in the United States have had an STD before, I'd get thrown shade. [something to think about fellas. Strap it.]

Moral of this note is this. Nothing.



  • simone_dior

    haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaA!! loved it. absolutely loved it!!

  • Nisey

    Alot to comment on in this one. Firstly "CBS" def. jacking you for that one. Fight me. Secondly 808's and Heartbreaks? EH EH Im not the one, more like 808's and Gunshots...Jk jk. Commitment.. im with you on that one till I find the right one. Even then im scared dat I wont even know if he comes cuz im too focused on not getting hurt. Im a work in progress man.You shouldnt be scared of a woman who has to be smarter than you, like u said shake dat bitch some girls need to be thrown of they high horse anyway. And about your statistics did you know 1 in 4 people have herpes? and dat IS NOT curable and u can contract it using a condom. I say wrap ya entire body in saran wrap... fuck it.